Session Start: Mon Sep 30 01:41:51 2002
Session Ident: MissMaynard
Session Ident: MissMaynard (MissMaynar@ZiRC-14FD247F.accesscom.net)
<MissMaynard> Thank you for hating "MissMaynard."
<majcameron> it's not about hate
<majcameron> I don't hate you.
<MissMaynard> I'm not purposefully hurting people...why would you want to hurt me?
<majcameron> I don't want to hurt you, I just want everyone's story to come to light.  
<MissMaynard> Except mine, right?
<majcameron> I'm not stopping you from doing anything or telling your story
<majcameron> I don't have that power
<MissMaynard> You don't need to be the saviour.  Trust that I've spoken with everyone who needed to talk with me.  I've never tried to hurt anyone.
<MissMaynard> I've learned from my accidental mistakes, trust me.
<majcameron> I am not anyone's "savior". 
<MissMaynard> Then why are you acting like it?
<majcameron> how am I acting like it?
<MissMaynard> You are not involved in what happened.  I had seen it all as being worked out, anyway.
<MissMaynard> As much as I appreciate your looking out for people, they have handled their own business.
<MissMaynard> I already lost a good friend in cornbeef.
<majcameron> well I am not forcing or stopping them from doing anything
<majcameron> they make their own decisions
<MissMaynard> Yes, and you're trying to incite something.
<MissMaynard> There's truly, truly no need for it.
<majcameron> no, I'm not trying to "incite" anything.  none of this was my idea.
<MissMaynard> I know.
<MissMaynard> But please, don't do this.
<MissMaynard> I never, ever meant to hurt anyone.  This would hurt me more than anything.
<majcameron> I'm not DOING anything.  
<majcameron> It's not *ME*
<MissMaynard> I know.
<majcameron> then why are you saying it
<MissMaynard> But I know you're certainly not helping, nor asking for my side.
<MissMaynard> I really thought we were closer than that.
<majcameron> so did I, but you chose to blow me off, instead of explain it to me when I asked yesterday.  That was your choice to make, and I accept it
<MissMaynard> Of course I wouldn't explain it yesterday.
<MissMaynard> I was so fucking embarassed.
<MissMaynard> I had no idea why this was being done...
<MissMaynard> I never purposefully hurt anyone, so I didn't know why someone would have a grudge.
<majcameron> I don't think you are malicious by any stretch amanda, but I do think you have a serious problem, and until light has been shed upon it, it will remain
<MissMaynard> You don't think I'm trying to fix things?
<MissMaynard> You don't think I CRIED MY FUCKING EYES OUT for hurting people when I certainly didn't mean to?
<majcameron> I don't know about that, but what I do know is that the people that were on the receiving end have the right to tell their side to any/everyone they choose
<majcameron> and so do you
<MissMaynard> Yes, but I've been talking with those people.  I just needed to talk with you.
<MissMaynard> I see that you were hearing one side.
<MissMaynard> And since I consider you a friend, I wanted you to hear mine, also.
<majcameron> actually i was hearing about 5 sides
<majcameron> and they all added up to be about the same story
<MissMaynard> I just can't understand why.
<MissMaynard> It was obvious I never tried to hurt anyone.
<majcameron> obvious to you, perhaps
<MissMaynard> Well, yeah.
<MissMaynard> But I know for a fact that I never did.
<majcameron> mmhmm
<MissMaynard> I'm perfectly serious.
<majcameron> frankly I will tell you that recently I have sort of come to the conclusion that you are not a very "nice" person.  You are far too quick to anger, in my reckoning
<MissMaynard> I've been hurt enough to not want that.
<MissMaynard> There's been so much drama, Josh.
<MissMaynard> Not just this.
<majcameron> well drama is the essence of life.  how one reacts to it is what defines our character
<MissMaynard> I've just been to myself.
<MissMaynard> I've been worried about everything.
<majcameron> I see
<MissMaynard> I'm sorry for our conversations being odd lately.
<majcameron> well you don't have to apologize to me. 
<MissMaynard> I think I've pretty much apologized to all parties.
<MissMaynard> And I do mean my apologies.
<MissMaynard> But I feel this shit was unnecessary and, for the most part, blown way out of proportion.
<MissMaynard> I'm not in a relationship with anyone, and everyone is fully knowing of that.
<majcameron> perhaps, but you must admit that it appears rather mind boggling from an outside observer's perspective
<MissMaynard> An outsider, yes.
<MissMaynard> Hence why I didn't want it to be like that.
<majcameron> well I was completely neutral in that regard, but when I heard the same story, from so many different and independant from each other's sources, I gave it creedence
<MissMaynard> What is the story?
<majcameron> that you did what you tend to do.  lead a guy on, albeit unintentionally, and then brush them off when they become interested, or wish something more
<majcameron> I have know MANY girls just like you, amanda.  and I have felt sorry for them all.  
<MissMaynard> I was brushed off by many of those people, not the opposite.
<MissMaynard> That's the great irony.
<majcameron> heh
<MissMaynard> Feel free to ask me anything, to hear my side.
<majcameron> why do you really care what my opinion of you is anyway?  you have never expressed even the slightest intrest in me as a person.
<MissMaynard> Sure I have.
<MissMaynard> I don't want to be all "OMG WOW YOU'RE SMART AND EASY TO TALK TO AND NICE LOL HI"
<MissMaynard> When we do talk, we talk for a while.
<MissMaynard> I wish you wouldn't remind me of my real life so much, though.
<MissMaynard> It's not a very fun thing.
<majcameron> name one time where you have started a conversation with me to ask me about myself, or anything of the sort
<MissMaynard> None of the potential "guys" work.
<MissMaynard> I don't know, I'd have to sift throw the logs.
<MissMaynard> through.
<majcameron> uh huh.  
<MissMaynard> Do you really want me to?  I will.
<majcameron> no, my point was why you care all of a sudden now, when you never have before.
<MissMaynard> I have before.
<MissMaynard> And now, it's pretty obvious why I'm trying to justify myself.
<majcameron> and why is that?
<majcameron> I don't see it as being that obvious
<MissMaynard> Oh, it is.
<MissMaynard> I'm getting shit from EVERYBODY now.
<majcameron> what's that got to do with me
<MissMaynard> I just feel I have to defend my character to my "friends."  I consider you one.
<MissMaynard> And you expressed interest at a very convenient time, which led me to believe you know.
<majcameron> ok
<MissMaynard> I'm not mad, of course.
<MissMaynard> But, again, are there any questions?
<majcameron> how long have you gone in your short adult life without there being a romantic interest somewhere in the picture
<MissMaynard> Hm, 6 months straight.  Since I turned 17.
<MissMaynard> I'm turning 19 in November.
<majcameron> what 6 months were these?
<majcameron> from when to when
<MissMaynard> January 2001 - late June 2001.
<MissMaynard> ^January 2nd
<majcameron> ok
<MissMaynard> I got my heart torn out that day.
<MissMaynard> Little stints of being single between that.
<majcameron> how many different guys have you had a romantic intrest in since you turned 17
<MissMaynard> Define romantic interest.
<majcameron> you were interested in them as a romantic partner, regardless of wether you met/dated/slept with them
<MissMaynard> Hm.
<MissMaynard> Well, I mean, I've "liked" guys.
<MissMaynard> But nothing came of it...
<MissMaynard> Does that count?
<majcameron> only if you talked to them about it
<MissMaynard> Hm.
<MissMaynard> Since January?
<MissMaynard> I don't think dekk and cornbeef count, because they knew nothing would come of things.
<majcameron> since november 4, 2000
<MissMaynard> ok.
<MissMaynard> hmm
<MissMaynard> 7.  Not actual relationships...that would just be 4.
<MissMaynard> And that's including that 2 year relationship.
<MissMaynard> And a one-year one with the guy in Portugal.
<majcameron> ok
<majcameron> let me see the rest of these pictures that have been passed around.  
<MissMaynard> No.
<majcameron> hahahah, that bad eh?
<MissMaynard> Just embarassing.  Not very bad, actually.
<MissMaynard> I'm sure you've seen much, much worse.
<MissMaynard> :)
<majcameron> I have?
<majcameron> what makes you say that
<MissMaynard> In any softcore porn.
<majcameron> um, ok.  
<MissMaynard> Surely in a serious relationship.
<majcameron> how many of the "4" did you sleep with on the first date/encounter/whatever
<MissMaynard> How does this relate?
<majcameron> you asked me twice to ask you questions, so I'm asking
<MissMaynard> Yeah, but I kinda meant for you to be able to see the whole story.
<majcameron> well isn't this part of it?
<MissMaynard> Not really, considering the people I've been in relationships with aren't trying to cause drama.
<majcameron> heh, ok, but the other questions I asked didn't have to do with that either, and you answered them
<MissMaynard> I think the others relate.
<majcameron> whatever, I have to go to bed now.  
<MissMaynard> Sorta.
<MissMaynard> Okay.
<MissMaynard> Good night.
Session Close: Mon Sep 30 02:44:06 2002