The greatest contributors to the Kiwi Farms are random individuals. Almost all threads are started by one person who happens to know a lolcow and wants to share the love. Don't be intimidated by this board: the submission process is easy.
Step 1. Use the search feature to see if a thread already exists! Try searching by Title in all boards using different aliases. Google can sometimes be more useful.
Step 2. Read the Criteria for Automatic Failure. I will not spend more time fixing your thread than you spent making it, so please read and help us help you.
Step 3. Make your thread. Read other OPs from successful threads to get a feeling for what works. It's a good idea to use a computer to write a thread because formatting is important.
Step 4. Wait. Senior users can see all threads in this board and may ask questions or give you tips. If the thread doesn't get moved in a few days, or there is something time sensitive about your thread, contact staff.
Resources: Archival Tools, Opening Post 101
All staff may move threads out of this board as they see fit. Please make a Talk to Staff thread if you need help.