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  • Ha! My phone just buzzed. I thought I was getting a message from some one wanting my attention. Turns out it's just low battery. The relief of not dealing with anyone i know made me laugh. I probably need medication.
    Mother somewhat bummed out I won't go see a play at the local theatre with her and my dad. I'm worried they assumed I would. Or if this is some sort of test. Weird phone convo.
    Chateaux lafite, stax records and a haze of villigers cigars to celebrate selling a painting. I assume my final form as a sleazy 1970s art fag. I'm ok with this.🍷
    I think I might have peaked.
    Balloons full of glitter were a mistake. One just exploded all over my living room. I just glitterbombed my own home. It's. Fucking. Everywhere.
    I just need to update; the glitter has now spread to my backyard, my hairdresser and all my fam who just came to my house. Might have to call in a nuclear strike to contain the infection at this point.
    Ever get moderately depressed to point you become an edgelord who responds to every bit of human stimulus with OTT fantasies of ultraviolence? I'm basically a walking Limp Bizkit song this week.
    Blend frozen strawberries and black pepper, mix with equal volume vodka. Shred in basil leaves. Keep in freezer. Decant as needed into glasses and top up with soda water.
    Note to self: do this more often.
    Might be interesting to experiment with tequila; but vodka is cheap. Edit: or swap water for cava. Fuck, I'm a genius.
    😭 I just got home after a month and my plants are dead. Im disproportionately upset. Parents said they were gonna come in and water them but apparently they didn't. Prob just over emotional due to illness and a long train journey. But rn, I'm really upset about those fucking pot plants.
    So. I just finished a business trip, eating crap holiday inn food on the company dime and today is pretty blah ...then i check KF and Greer chimps out and fails at a DMCA. Im laughing into my phone. (...Alone; like a spaz). Today is redeemed.
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The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

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