Haim Arlosoroff

I, as a way for large holders of commercial loans to protect their balance sheets without selling the loans and potentially harming client relationships, invest in turn-of-the-millennium non-cash assets to obtain exposure to a portfolio of fixed-income structured products that combines cash-generating assets repackaged into pools, divided into credit tranches based on the level of credit risk assumed, and sell them to investors. The work of Angels. Angels.

But so help me if you open a position by borrowing shares, usually from a person or firm in the business of buying and selling a fungible, negotiable financial instrument which holds some type of monetary value for its own account or on behalf of its customers. Only for you to then hedge your investment by buying an American put option expiring in one week giving you the right to sell your shares any time in the next seek assuming you pay the premium otherwise standing to lose your entire investment. For when a rising stock price forces people who had sold the stock short to buy back those shares, driving stock prices higher. You then, you fucking monster, force additional stock-buying activity due to open options positions on the underlying stock. You goddamn fraudster.