I don't think he has parents. I think he climbed out of the shit tank of a portopotty at a Bronycon like the first tadpole coming from the primordial soup.
Staph claiming she was fired because of paganism reminds me of someone on r/legaladvice once who thought they had a discrimination case because they were NB and had to wear either a mens or women's uniform. They were allowed to choose though, and change their choice day to day, but they couldn't...
The spuds will never have to deal with peers, or find jobs or anything else. Why not go balls to the wall with names? I mean, your spud is only going to be around a few years, why not call it Dingleberry Unicorn Horatio-Sans.