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  1. Exceptional Chimp

    Dramacow Dave "Danielle" Muscato

    A long nap? Make it permanent!
  2. Exceptional Chimp

    [16-Jan-2020] Revealed: DarksydePhil is officially filing for bankruptcy

    This is all Kat's fault. If she let him watch rasslin' during their underwear time he'd get his sweaty manhug fix but no, she wanted to watch Hallmark Channel or some heteroshit. So it's on her he played WWE Grindr to find other men to cybergrapple. BUGGED LAVENDER MARRIAGE MECHANICS DOOD!
  3. Exceptional Chimp

    Orbiter Kat Speculation

    That's between her and Gym (Jim), Kohls (Cole), Tae-Bo (Tyrone), etc. Phil won't have a hand (or any other part of his anatomy) in it.
  4. Exceptional Chimp

    Orbiter Kat Speculation

    You heard she's working at Kohl's but she's actually working on Cole. She gets sweaty at the gym? No, she gets sweaty at Jim's. Yeah, you know she's aware of the Foreclosure Saga, and probably the pay to win half naked man grapple. She's planning her exit from this closet case ASAP.
  5. Exceptional Chimp

    Careercow Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

    LoveTroons = DownSyndromePhil +10 years?
  6. Exceptional Chimp

    [16-Jan-2020] Pre-Kakarot "Special" Schtreem

    Agreed. We already saw his o-face in the joystick (trackpoint?) video. No need for further details.
  7. Exceptional Chimp

    DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell

    Nothing he can do... that'll pay six figures as he's accustomed to. The GoutLord will stream six days per week until he dies. To do otherwise is to lose the wife, the cave, the "I'm a Big Boy" illusion. Only way Phil stops streaming is if he finally does something that gets media attention and...
  8. Exceptional Chimp

    [16-Jan-2020] Pre-Kakarot "Special" Schtreem

    He promised his mom he's get a second job and he has. Now he's going to be a variety streamer on Mixer! They love his content so they gave him a deal just like Ninja/Shroud/Gothlion/Ewok/etc
  9. Exceptional Chimp

    Boomer Segments, Impromptu & Scheduled

    The less she puts out there the easier it is for her to disappear when the Foreclosure Saga becomes the Bankruptcy Saga. Phil gets an allowance for survival and the trustee sends the rest to his creditors. No more buying unnecessary shit for years? Bye Philicia. Then we get T-poses with "dude...
  10. Exceptional Chimp

    Careercow Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

    And thus ends Something Awful, not with a bang but a whimper. The troons demanding ever more. Are we sure LowT isn't on HRT? he effectively suicided with this move.
  11. Exceptional Chimp

    [Dec 15 2019] Foreclosure Saga

    All she needs to know is that it's all downhill from here. Save up your Kohl's cash and keep a bag packed for the inevitable day when the bank or IRS come knocking.
  12. Exceptional Chimp

    [Dec 15 2019] Foreclosure Saga

    That will come when he fails to keep the IRS happy with his payments. One of the items listed on the back taxes payment plan is that you pay all future taxes (during the plan) when due. It may take them awhile, but the IRS will get their pound of flesh even if the banks don't.
  13. Exceptional Chimp

    Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

    Chris as a massage therapist? Oh hell no. Ain't nothing happy about that ending. Entrepreneur? Yeah, he's got the work ethic for that! Might as well be a daycare provider.
  14. Exceptional Chimp

    DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell

    My theory is he's paying off Hassan. That would explain where the money goes, why Hassan insists there's nothing he can do despite it being his alleged job, AND why Phil gets away with stuff even most thots deep throat a ban for.
  15. Exceptional Chimp

    Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

    Pretty much. Chris was just a chain to keep Bob('s money) around. Once Bob died Chris became little more than a service animal. Once Barb is gone? Chris can merge with a truck for all she cares.
  16. Exceptional Chimp

    [Dec 15 2019] Foreclosure Saga

    DropSoapPhil: Bugged buggery mechanics dood! Pink socks belong in Kat's drawer, not my drawers!
  17. Exceptional Chimp

    Jasper Carewatch

    I thought Jasper was positive news that would help the stream! Better believe that cat's food, litter, etc. will be deducted as a Serious Adult Business expense though.
  18. Exceptional Chimp

    Careercow Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

    1. The proper term for an up north foreigner is "frostback". 2. Lowtax has been a shitlord since SA was new. The booze and pills are to relieve the pain of being Lowtax. I have no problem believing Navy Guzzler's account. 3. If Lowtax thinks Uwe fucked him up in the ring the judge and Ashli's...
  19. Exceptional Chimp

    DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell

    I hope we've all learned our lesson here: Twitch will do nothing about DSP because, just like the thots, he brings in money. Either spread some trans/homophobic memes of him and let lefty press bury him in outrage or make Jeff Bezos look bad by letting Twitch run this way.
  20. Exceptional Chimp

    Orbiter Kat Speculation

    Phil rubs the cherry juice on his skin And still gets the gout again

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