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Puppy Bowl Pros: Cute, relaxing Cons: Cannot pet the puppies Super Bowl Pros: Junk food, no temptation to pet the athletes Cons: Not cute, lame music

Should I try Mike Pence's thunder down under method?

Brood X is beginning their invasion of the Eastern United States. Do not be afraid. These are bugs of extremely loud peace. What is Brood X? When do cicadas come out in 2021? Answering your buggiest questions. In case you were wondering, yes. They are very excited to visit the White House. With...

Forget vampire thots and fat rabbits. Those are trivial compared to getting stepped on by a giant moth.

Ah, the good old days.

I want to make sure I'm on his nice list.

Started when I installed BonziBuddy. Am I being watched?

Just a silly site that tells you if an image is porn. Forgot the link. isitporn.com

He's been up there all day. Should I get Jack off?

Little early to plan for Halloween, I know.

And why is it pickles and mayo?

You come across a sparkly chest while dungeon crawling. Like any functioning human, you open it. Gotta have the shiny. Bad move. You're now the latest victim of the diaper fur tranny with an inflation fetish. Even worse, ze's summoned friends. What do you do?

Very important ecclesiastical question. Is Jesus a man of the people or is he in an ivory tower happily eating a soggy, lukewarm burrito?

Have enough tickets for three people.

Don't worry. You're fully clothed.

She won't let him play otherwise.

I know traps are gay. What about reverse traps?

I'd prefer subs. No dubs.

I woke up with a horrific, blinding headache this morning. Once I regained my vision, I noticed something missing. My penis. Anyone seen it?