01/03/22 - 24 Hour Free Ralph Festival (now the 24 Hour Guntry Road Special) - Ralph intended to do a 24-hour stream the second day before his trial and is now stuck on I-95

BruceyBoy

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Driving in snow isn't something most people want to do. Driving in ice is worse still. I suppose my New Englander ass is used to shit driving weather but it is something that needs to be planned for and around. You should have an emergency kit for winter travel in addition to a normal breakdown kit. Blankets, a few candles (w/ lighters), gloves, water, and nonperishable food should be in said kit. A bag of coarse sand or some cat litter is also useful in the breakdown kit to add traction to snowbound tires. The blankets, etc., should be obvious but the candle is important too. It can take the edge off the cold inside your car so you don't need to run the engine and use as much gas.
Ideally you should never need to use your emergency kits. Think of winter weather like a flooded road; don't drown, turn around. If you're going to get stuck in weather you're unprepared for then find a place to stay and wait the worst of it out.
And while this is preaching to the choir a bit, if you do have a solid 4wd, get yourself a good snatch strap and winch, people become retarded once Google maps gets involved
 
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Ralphamale

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Hopefully someone clipped tonight's Killstream. Ralph basically gave a farewell speech at the end. It was a gay speech about how much the Killstream means to him and that he might, probably, definitely will be back tomorrow (his words). Sounded like he was slurring occasionally.

He went back and forth a lot during the show whether he would win the trial or not. Sometimes he'd say "you never know, that's how court is" and other times he spoke of a confident victory.

He is clearly a mess. He got mad a few times and also took a big fat suck from his bong.





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He also spoke of his baby due in April and proved the haters that Pantsu is pregnant:



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But there were joyous cringey moments too...

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All in all, the show became a blackpill after he finished talking about Vegas and the i-90 disaster. He went on to play boring news clips as usual and you could him becoming increasingly somber as he contemplated during the videos.

Another thing to note is that he played blues music for the intro and outro. We all know Ralph is a woman that likes to sneak in songs pertaining to his life. For someone so confident about his big court date, you'd think he'd play a peppier tune.
Real Ralphamales would play this during the outro
 

Hüftpriester

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
He went on to play boring news clips as usual and you could him becoming increasingly somber as he contemplated during the videos.
'I get paid to watch youtube videos, haters BTFO' says the Gunted hobbit.

Ralph, I'm often at work while I'm posting here. So technically I get paid to laugh at you for being a fat self-destructive retard. I like my deal better, as I don't have to go to court for publishing revenge porn today.
 

Boomer Tumours

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
This is what a typical bobcat looks like. Also known as a skid steer but bobcat, the brand made them popular. The based black farmer had this thing called a tractor. Imagine a tractor being on a farm. FUCKING WILD!

Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close. I guess you could call a Ford F250 a "big dawg" even though I think if you were to refer to any size truck a big dawg, you'd be looking at a Ford F350 or a Chevy/GMC 3500 and in particular for me to consider a truck to be considered a big dawg, a term I've never heard anyone in my life refer to a truck as, it'd be a diesel. Something you can use for towing heavy loads. So yeah considering Ethan Ralph is considered world wide as a heavy load, I'd suggest he get a Ford F350 diesel to haul himself around and it'll still have enough power for the horse trailer May rides in.
You know most streamers need a heavy duty fullsize truck to go to McDonald's, burger king and Wendy's, to pick up their materials for their work day and not just to make up for the fact they're a 5'1" beta male who wears a murse everywhere they go

I just said a prayer for Ralph to get probation or even community service. I know he thinks we want to see him dead but let's be honest, without Ralph sperging over corn jokes and farts, what else in life will bring us endless hours of lolcow entertainment? I can't wait because if he does get either community service or probation he's going to do a show tonight starting out with him screaming how he's unstoppable, unbeatable, the ralphamale is unabortable. How he has won again at life and he's never going to stop until Joshua Conner Moon, (our fearless leader, our mensch) is locked up behind bars..... For what? No one knows, Josh is a good boi and DINDO NUFFIN. Say your prayers for Ralph right now! Also if he doesn't actually go back to jail he's going to treat Gator like shit again since his prior plan on having some other nobody Pat Dixon come in and run his show seems to have fallen flat or he realized that he may need gator for a back up. Gator has worked for years for free, getting $50 here and there while helping Ralph build his "empire" and when Ralph thinks he may have to go up the river, he immediately looks over his most loyal henchman and makes a deal to pay some outsider to run the show. Ralph I'm it sure if you know but your audience much rather watch gator as he'll run the show sorta like you, this Pat Dixon gets under 20 live viewers per episode he does. Goes to show he thinks just so little for gator and once he is safe from jail in an hour, he'll throw gator back under the bus again. Sorry Gatorbros, you lose again.
Skitzo rant over.
 

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Balthier

friendly neighborhood catty bitch
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Gunty should hit up the casinos in Tunica Mississippi or the injun casinos in Oklahoma. All of the glitz of Vegas for 1/3 the cost.
Cherokee, NC would be great for him too. A casino and all the firewater he can imbibe. The area is pretty poor so the pennies he makes would go a lot further if he decided to move there. Plus there's lots of land for the horse to roam around on.
 

SaidNoOneEver

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 19, 2020
This is what a typical bobcat looks like. Also known as a skid steer but bobcat, the brand made them popular. The based black farmer had this thing called a tractor. Imagine a tractor being on a farm. FUCKING WILD!

Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close. I guess you could call a Ford F250 a "big dawg" even though I think if you were to refer to any size truck a big dawg, you'd be looking at a Ford F350 or a Chevy/GMC 3500 and in particular for me to consider a truck to be considered a big dawg, a term I've never heard anyone in my life refer to a truck as, it'd be a diesel. Something you can use for towing heavy loads. So yeah considering Ethan Ralph is considered world wide as a heavy load, I'd suggest he get a Ford F350 diesel to haul himself around and it'll still have enough power for the horse trailer May rides in.
You know most streamers need a heavy duty fullsize truck to go to McDonald's, burger king and Wendy's, to pick up their materials for their work day and not just to make up for the fact they're a 5'1" beta male who wears a murse everywhere they go

I just said a prayer for Ralph to get probation or even community service. I know he thinks we want to see him dead but let's be honest, without Ralph sperging over corn jokes and farts, what else in life will bring us endless hours of lolcow entertainment? I can't wait because if he does get either community service or probation he's going to do a show tonight starting out with him screaming how he's unstoppable, unbeatable, the ralphamale is unabortable. How he has won again at life and he's never going to stop until Joshua Conner Moon, (our fearless leader, our mensch) is locked up behind bars..... For what? No one knows, Josh is a good boi and DINDO NUFFIN. Say your prayers for Ralph right now! Also if he doesn't actually go back to jail he's going to treat Gator like shit again since his prior plan on having some other nobody Pat Dixon come in and run his show seems to have fallen flat or he realized that he may need gator for a back up. Gator has worked for years for free, getting $50 here and there while helping Ralph build his "empire" and when Ralph thinks he may have to go up the river, he immediately looks over his most loyal henchman and makes a deal to pay some outsider to run the show. Ralph I'm it sure if you know but your audience much rather watch gator as he'll run the show sorta like you, this Pat Dixon gets under 20 live viewers per episode he does. Goes to show he thinks just so little for gator and once he is safe from jail in an hour, he'll throw gator back under the bus again. Sorry Gatorbros, you lose again.
Skitzo rant over.
I'm thinking probation will come with a no drug/alcohol stipulation that he'll break within one day and then get locked up anyway.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
This is what a typical bobcat looks like. Also known as a skid steer but bobcat, the brand made them popular. The based black farmer had this thing called a tractor. Imagine a tractor being on a farm. FUCKING WILD!

Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close. I guess you could call a Ford F250 a "big dawg" even though I think if you were to refer to any size truck a big dawg, you'd be looking at a Ford F350 or a Chevy/GMC 3500 and in particular for me to consider a truck to be considered a big dawg, a term I've never heard anyone in my life refer to a truck as, it'd be a diesel. Something you can use for towing heavy loads. So yeah considering Ethan Ralph is considered world wide as a heavy load, I'd suggest he get a Ford F350 diesel to haul himself around and it'll still have enough power for the horse trailer May rides in.
You know most streamers need a heavy duty fullsize truck to go to McDonald's, burger king and Wendy's, to pick up their materials for their work day and not just to make up for the fact they're a 5'1" beta male who wears a murse everywhere they go

I just said a prayer for Ralph to get probation or even community service. I know he thinks we want to see him dead but let's be honest, without Ralph sperging over corn jokes and farts, what else in life will bring us endless hours of lolcow entertainment? I can't wait because if he does get either community service or probation he's going to do a show tonight starting out with him screaming how he's unstoppable, unbeatable, the ralphamale is unabortable. How he has won again at life and he's never going to stop until Joshua Conner Moon, (our fearless leader, our mensch) is locked up behind bars..... For what? No one knows, Josh is a good boi and DINDO NUFFIN. Say your prayers for Ralph right now! Also if he doesn't actually go back to jail he's going to treat Gator like shit again since his prior plan on having some other nobody Pat Dixon come in and run his show seems to have fallen flat or he realized that he may need gator for a back up. Gator has worked for years for free, getting $50 here and there while helping Ralph build his "empire" and when Ralph thinks he may have to go up the river, he immediately looks over his most loyal henchman and makes a deal to pay some outsider to run the show. Ralph I'm it sure if you know but your audience much rather watch gator as he'll run the show sorta like you, this Pat Dixon gets under 20 live viewers per episode he does. Goes to show he thinks just so little for gator and once he is safe from jail in an hour, he'll throw gator back under the bus again. Sorry Gatorbros, you lose again.
Skitzo rant over.
Given that Ralph thought a John Deere tractor was a bobcat I figure he’d buy a pick-up and drive it in the snow with no weight in the back.

Ralph should just stick with cheap little Asian sedans. We know he couldn’t afford a truck or SUV anyway. One decent new truck is the price of three superchatmobiles, one with a Cummins engine would cost the same as four Sentras.

Forget Metokur. R. Lee Ermey getting involved in IBS would have been kino beyond measure. He'd probably be a decent lolcow or "anti-lolcow" himself.
Ermey is the anti-lolcow. He wasn’t even cast as the drill Sargent in FMJ, just as a “set adviser” but he was so bad ass when “advising” and giving the actors the drill sarg treatment Kubrick gave him the part after the first week, then just let him do his thing. One of the only ppl that Kubrick was satisfied with a scene in one take.

I still am in awe of a man that has posture so rigid he could balance a book on his head while running.
 

Antarctica

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 31, 2021
This is what a typical bobcat looks like. Also known as a skid steer but bobcat, the brand made them popular. The based black farmer had this thing called a tractor. Imagine a tractor being on a farm. FUCKING WILD!

Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close. I guess you could call a Ford F250 a "big dawg" even though I think if you were to refer to any size truck a big dawg, you'd be looking at a Ford F350 or a Chevy/GMC 3500 and in particular for me to consider a truck to be considered a big dawg, a term I've never heard anyone in my life refer to a truck as, it'd be a diesel. Something you can use for towing heavy loads. So yeah considering Ethan Ralph is considered world wide as a heavy load, I'd suggest he get a Ford F350 diesel to haul himself around and it'll still have enough power for the horse trailer May rides in.
You know most streamers need a heavy duty fullsize truck to go to McDonald's, burger king and Wendy's, to pick up their materials for their work day and not just to make up for the fact they're a 5'1" beta male who wears a murse everywhere they go

I just said a prayer for Ralph to get probation or even community service. I know he thinks we want to see him dead but let's be honest, without Ralph sperging over corn jokes and farts, what else in life will bring us endless hours of lolcow entertainment? I can't wait because if he does get either community service or probation he's going to do a show tonight starting out with him screaming how he's unstoppable, unbeatable, the ralphamale is unabortable. How he has won again at life and he's never going to stop until Joshua Conner Moon, (our fearless leader, our mensch) is locked up behind bars..... For what? No one knows, Josh is a good boi and DINDO NUFFIN. Say your prayers for Ralph right now! Also if he doesn't actually go back to jail he's going to treat Gator like shit again since his prior plan on having some other nobody Pat Dixon come in and run his show seems to have fallen flat or he realized that he may need gator for a back up. Gator has worked for years for free, getting $50 here and there while helping Ralph build his "empire" and when Ralph thinks he may have to go up the river, he immediately looks over his most loyal henchman and makes a deal to pay some outsider to run the show. Ralph I'm it sure if you know but your audience much rather watch gator as he'll run the show sorta like you, this Pat Dixon gets under 20 live viewers per episode he does. Goes to show he thinks just so little for gator and once he is safe from jail in an hour, he'll throw gator back under the bus again. Sorry Gatorbros, you lose again.
Skitzo rant over.
Expecting Ralph to know these Truck/Heavy Equipment terminologies is like expecting May to not molest her upcoming child. It's a no brainer.
 

Mr. Skeltal

Bone Poet
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 3, 2018
This is what a typical bobcat looks like. Also known as a skid steer but bobcat, the brand made them popular. The based black farmer had this thing called a tractor. Imagine a tractor being on a farm. FUCKING WILD!

Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close. I guess you could call a Ford F250 a "big dawg" even though I think if you were to refer to any size truck a big dawg, you'd be looking at a Ford F350 or a Chevy/GMC 3500 and in particular for me to consider a truck to be considered a big dawg, a term I've never heard anyone in my life refer to a truck as, it'd be a diesel. Something you can use for towing heavy loads. So yeah considering Ethan Ralph is considered world wide as a heavy load, I'd suggest he get a Ford F350 diesel to haul himself around and it'll still have enough power for the horse trailer May rides in.
You know most streamers need a heavy duty fullsize truck to go to McDonald's, burger king and Wendy's, to pick up their materials for their work day and not just to make up for the fact they're a 5'1" beta male who wears a murse everywhere they go

I just said a prayer for Ralph to get probation or even community service. I know he thinks we want to see him dead but let's be honest, without Ralph sperging over corn jokes and farts, what else in life will bring us endless hours of lolcow entertainment? I can't wait because if he does get either community service or probation he's going to do a show tonight starting out with him screaming how he's unstoppable, unbeatable, the ralphamale is unabortable. How he has won again at life and he's never going to stop until Joshua Conner Moon, (our fearless leader, our mensch) is locked up behind bars..... For what? No one knows, Josh is a good boi and DINDO NUFFIN. Say your prayers for Ralph right now! Also if he doesn't actually go back to jail he's going to treat Gator like shit again since his prior plan on having some other nobody Pat Dixon come in and run his show seems to have fallen flat or he realized that he may need gator for a back up. Gator has worked for years for free, getting $50 here and there while helping Ralph build his "empire" and when Ralph thinks he may have to go up the river, he immediately looks over his most loyal henchman and makes a deal to pay some outsider to run the show. Ralph I'm it sure if you know but your audience much rather watch gator as he'll run the show sorta like you, this Pat Dixon gets under 20 live viewers per episode he does. Goes to show he thinks just so little for gator and once he is safe from jail in an hour, he'll throw gator back under the bus again. Sorry Gatorbros, you lose again.
Skitzo rant over.
For reference on the towing capabilities of GMC 3500s and F350s the Air Force uses them with short wheelbases as general purpose tugs (called bobtails). In the munitions career field it isn't uncommon to see the line-d boys lugging 3 daisy chained bomb trailers with one. Assuming they're hauling Mk-84's on MHU-226 trailers that equates to about 8000 lbs of bomb and about 3000 lbs of trailer for a total of 11k lbs per trailer and 33k for the aforementioned daisy chain.

Assuming Ralph weighs 250lbs (generous), this means that the 3500/F350 has a towing capacity of 132 Ethan Ralphs. A good choice indeed.