01/03/22 - 24 Hour Free Ralph Festival (now the 24 Hour Guntry Road Special) - Ralph intended to do a 24-hour stream the second day before his trial and is now stuck on I-95

oramge cat

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
He really, really got lucky.
Hello Ethan, or as they like to call you on the internet, Ethan Ralph. For years, you have not appreciated your life. Rather, you went on the internet to cry in sorrow about your state. But now, your life is in your hands. You're currently strapped into a machine which will slowly rip shit out of your ass, eventually reaching into your organs and ending your life. In order to survive, you must eat this large salad bowl within the next 30 minutes. Will you finally let go of the shackles that keep you in your house, or will you end up without a butthole. Live or die, make your choice...
"Hello Ethan, do you want to play a game? I've prepared you a delicious 72oz slab of plain beef, but you have to eat it with Béarnaise sauce and asparagus. If you haven't finished in 30 minutes, the cage you're in will begin to fill with court orders for you to pay your child support. Time starts now."
 

3-2-1836

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 27, 2021
Just curious, but how fast does it dry up or what is the response time? The general consensus from people I've spoken to is that it's a "Holy shit" moment and since its infrequent you have under-staffed government trucks with lack of resources to salt the roads. Couple that with insane drivers then you get silly auto accidents. Conversely when I've talked to people up north they expect this kind of thing and come prepared for it.
Considering the fact Santa Fe is 7200 ft in elevation and is the state capital pretty quick. Flagstaff also is major priority due to I-40 and being the gateway to the grand canyon so they get that shit cleared pretty fast

I mean shit I was in Albuquerque during the great freeze of 2021 and eventho it hit at like 8pm everyone went home and the next day the streets were already cleared.

For Northern New Mexico people they're used to random blizzards which happen in the middle of the night, even during major blizzards in Santa Fe you'll still see the locals walking to the gas station for beer and chimichangas at 2am.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2020
i just realized ralph probably didnt even fucking know agreeing to this play made him a convicted sex offender. he didnt mention it and seemed too happy to notice it and hasnt commented on it, i think piggy if he was told about that downside thought "oh but i dont have to register again more publicly so those alogs can suck it im not an so!" and believed it lol. nice waste of money not fighting the charges, being at risk for a whole year in jail still AND being an official legally recognized sex offender.
 

Chris Mclean

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 20, 2021
Ralph gets stuck in a bit of snow now and wants to buy a truck. A big dawg truck like a Ford F150 lol. I guess when you're 5'1" a entry level pickup looks huge to you but for anyone else it's not even close
You wanna know who else own's a big truck?
Hint: Its a guy Ralph gets most of his ideas from and he was recently in Vegas with him.

CUCK MASTERSIMP!
 

ANiggaNamedElmo

It's your boy TriggerMeElmo.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Two best friends in matching manly trucks. Neither of whom are compensating for anything.
Dear God, I can already envision this inside of my head of Ralph asking Dax what truck to buy even though Virginia's climate is clearly very different from LA's. That's funny. Can't wait to see him hit a snowbank and get stuck yet again.
 

Laquisha Guntermensch

Gaydur! Chat is swept, clean up the shart instead
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2020
i just realized ralph probably didnt even fucking know agreeing to this play made him a convicted sex offender. he didnt mention it and seemed too happy to notice it and hasnt commented on it, i think piggy if he was told about that downside thought "oh but i dont have to register again more publicly so those alogs can suck it im not an so!" and believed it lol. nice waste of money not fighting the charges, being at risk for a whole year in jail still AND being an official legally recognized sex offender.
Null killed chat so I'll post this here. Big win for the known convicted sex offender and revenge pornographer Ethan Ralph, ngl.
 
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The Hard R

Beefswelling
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 8, 2021
For reference on the towing capabilities of GMC 3500s and F350s the Air Force uses them with short wheelbases as general purpose tugs (called bobtails). In the munitions career field it isn't uncommon to see the line-d boys lugging 3 daisy chained bomb trailers with one. Assuming they're hauling Mk-84's on MHU-226 trailers that equates to about 8000 lbs of bomb and about 3000 lbs of trailer for a total of 11k lbs per trailer and 33k for the aforementioned daisy chain.

Assuming Ralph weighs 250lbs (generous), this means that the 3500/F350 has a towing capacity of 132 Ethan Ralphs. A good choice indeed.
Ah, a fellow ammo troop. Was a PGM guy myself. Don't miss the job, do miss the people, my ancient Bob tail, and getting paid to live in exotic locals. IYAAYAS
 

Mr. Skeltal

Bone Poet
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 3, 2018
Ah, a fellow ammo troop. Was a PGM guy myself. Don't miss the job, do miss the people, my ancient Bob tail, and getting paid to live in exotic locals. IYAAYAS
I like being a bomb humping retard. Started line-d and went conventional. I have a good handle on the new electronic TO's so I'm the perennial TO bitch. I miss being a jet monkey in my previous life but it wasn't ammo, thus wasn't shit.

To keep it more on topic: Ralph almost misses his court date, pleads no contest, takes his sex offender (revenge pornographer) conviction as a W, and takes Meigh out for dinner.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2020
Null killed chat so I'll post this here. Big win for the Ralph, ngl.
all instances of ralphs name should be proceeded by "known convicted sex offender and revenge pornographer" hell known sex offender can be what ks now stand for instead of his show. also i really dont think he realized it at the time because it risks custody of both his kids and is generally embarrassing and gives josh plenty of ammo to easily counter any of his "josh is demonic pedo going to be recognized as the real creep by us courts" copes
 

Laquisha Guntermensch

Gaydur! Chat is swept, clean up the shart instead
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2020
all instances of ralphs name should be proceeded by "known convicted sex offender and revenge pornographer" hell known sex offender can be what ks now stand for instead of his show. also i really dont think he realized it at the time because it risks custody of both his kids and is generally embarrassing and gives josh plenty of ammo to easily counter any of his "josh is demonic pedo going to be recognized as the real creep by us courts" copes
Thank you, Melty. You are right. I've fixed that post for you and promise to abide going forward.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2020
Thank you, Melty. You are right. I've fixed that post for you and promise to abide going forward.
lol imagine paragraphs and paragraphs of rants with that in each and every instance of known convicted sex offender and revenge pornographer ethan ralphs name. oh fuck we didnt even inform destiny of known convicted sex offender and revenge pornographer ethan ralph being convicted we need to tell him