A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
I reckon a fall or a house fire. The paper will describe him as a “local character,” then have to close the comments section after literally hundreds of abusive messages from irate dog owners.I imagine he’ll die in a dumpster, alone, of COPD and only be discovered if a worker happens to notice his body among the trash as it’s dumped.
Most likely they don’t and one day, Tommy disappears and no one notices but KiwiFarms, AMB, and Tucson Police (who have a party but do not open up a missing persons case).