06-15-15 fedex and money woes (surprise) -

[CatParty]

 

[melty]

"FedEx screwed up a package" = "FedEx doesn't deliver to bridges"

 

[Smutley]

The throwers are trained to look for suspicious packages. When a package vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But… every once in a while… it's a dildo. Of course, it's FedEx policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. They have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never … Phil's dildo.

 

[Florence]

I bet they knew exactly who it was going to and decided to screw around with him by 'losing' it. I pity whoever accidentally recieves Phil's horrible BDSM stuff though...

 

[OBAMATRON]

How little tape do you think he used?

 

[Four-Wheeled Fedora]

The "focus on other stuff I like" part made me hopeful that perhaps Hoover will manage to do one thing that isn't totally batshit insane and learn to ride a goddamn bike.

 

[melty]

How little tape do you think he used?

Yeah, rereading the post this is probably what happened. Phil did a shit job of packing it in some smelly box he pulled out of a garbage can and it fell apart in transit. The Fedex employees quite understandably called in biohazard experts to remove it instead of repacking it or trying to do anything helpful. Also I wonder why he uses Fedex, they can be quite expensive.

 

[UnwiseKhan]

And of course he's planning to buy a fancy bike he can't even ride. Great money management skills there, Phil.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I see that operative @Smutley has completed his mission. Mind uploading pictures of the spoils of war?

 

[CornetteFace]

"I am more than just BDSM".

I found my new user title

 

[Ariel]

'I am more than just BSDM'. Yes he also pretends to be a bicyling enthusiast.

 

[Twrx]

Yeah Phil, you're also a liar, a old infirm woman beater. You are also incapable of showering, operating a washing machine, or holding a job.

 

[CornetteFace]

Don't forget a dirty tattoo canvas.

 

[Smutley]

I see that operative @Smutley has completed his mission. Mind uploading pictures of the spoils of war?

My sources tell me this is how Phil tried shipping his box full equipment to prepare for this years 7/4 celebration.

 

[Ruin]

"black denim pants"

So jeans?

 

[CornetteFace]

@Smutley. Box needs more anti CIS and anti transmisoginy messages.

 

[Le Bateleur]

I think Phil may be under the impression that BSDM stands for

Bicycles
South America
Dirt
Methicillin-resistant staph infection

 

[KatsuKitty]

dude all you literally gotta do is wait for your bank account to fill back up then buy new ones

 

[MrsFrizzle]

If Hooves bothered to pay the pittance it costs to insure a package, this would be a complete non-issue. It's not like these were the family heirloom chastity belts hand-tooled by the Queen of Mexico-Puerto Rico...

 

[Trombonista]

UPS>FedEx.