07/22/17 I Am Going To Die - RESET THE CLOCK

[JSGOTI]

To those who think that last night was simply another suicidal ideation episode - I have a few things to say about last night.

There will be more nights and days and weeks like this in the future. I have long reached the point where suicidality is a default feeling. It is no longer possible for me to go longer than 5-7 days without one suicidal thought entering my mind. Last night was just so bad that I verbalized it.

At some point I believe that a lot of you will ultimately abandon me - I am betting that half of you will over time. Yesterday I was searching in vain for a hit piece callout post against me on the Internet. Leftbook does have hatred for my guts for me trying to defend myself against transmisogynist cyberbullying and cyberstalking while I was still houseless. I seen it before *cough* 2015 and 2016 *cough* when I houseless in Oakland and three to four steps away from death's door. Shit, the only thing essentially keeping me alive was getting tattooed every two weeks to a month on average during that time.

I am going to put it simply, I am going to die - I am going to do everything possible to fight this before that happens.

I and everyone here needs to accept that I need to be able to be in a position to delay the inevitable

I am really fucking jaded from those almost 6 years of houselessness - and it's not going away. I have Complex PTSD, Anxiety, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Depression - these were all mental health issues prior to my houselessness. My cyberbullying and cyberstalking problem was another issue prior to my houselessness - actually this one is part and parcel of why it ran almost six years.

I believe that it's time to get cracking on overcompensating and delaying the inevitable death I will see.

It's not the 'if'....it is the 'when'.
----------------------------------------------------------
Last nights uneventful post that didn't get any asspats

 

[BILLY MAYS]

Do it faggot.

 

[RI 360]

He def picked up the phrase part and parcel from checking the farms obsessively.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

The only one who's unironically wanted Phil dead is Phil tbh.

 

[Bunny]

How come all these bitches have DID? I guess just anxiety and depression isn't fancy or cool enough.

 

[repentance]

If he's going to die soon anyway and it's just a matter of "when not if", then what's the point in anyone giving him money to "overcompensate" and "delay the inevitable".

I get that he's going for an "if you don't give me money, it's your fault when I kill myself" vibe here, but he hasn't thought it through.

Also, lol at the FB style "I know half of you will abandon me..." bullshit. It's as tedious as those "I know who'll repost this" status updates on FB which everyone fucking ignores because they're stupid.

 

[Taily Puff]

"I 'm going to kill myself. Not tonight. But I will. Just not tonight. But act like I'm going to kill myself every night so I don't, okay?"

Shorter version.

 

[RI 360]

The only one who's unironically wanted Phil dead is Phil tbh.

No, I do.

 

[BadaBadaBoom]

 

[Quijibo69]

Stop talking about it and do it already.

 

[Yellow Shirt Guy]

1-800-273-8255

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

It's just the Phil version of crashing into slumber

 

[AnOminous]

At some point I believe that a lot of you will ultimately abandon me - I am betting that half of you will over time.

Even when Phil is being dramatic, he's remarkably

Everyone will abandon you Phil. You are a worthless piece of shit. Everyone will realize this, eventually.

Also do a flip.

 

[Crisseh]

I really doubt his friends he's driven away really even care about his pity party posts anymore.

It's pretty bad when the most morally grandstanding social identity crowd don't want you around.

 

[AnOminous]

I really doubt his friends he's driven away really even care about his pity party posts anymore.

It's pretty bad when the most morally grandstanding social identity crowd don't want you around.

The only reason anyone would even put Phil on a friends list is he has more fake identities than most other troons, so you can fill up your SJW bingo card with all the shit he's made up about himself.

 

[Positron]

Gimme gimme gimme!
That five days' growth of goatee sure adds to his womanly charm.

Last night was just so bad that I verbalized it.

"Vikki, I want to, you know, kill myself."
*Sound of snoring*

 

[Sperglord Dante]

I'd gladly donate, but i don't think I can send this via youcaring

 

[Positron]

Given his weight you'll need a steel cable.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

If only there was a suicide hotline he could call that helped suicidal Trans individuals.

 

[Positron]

If only there was a suicide hotline he could call that helped suicidal Trans individuals.

Seriously I'm surprised that he doesn't have an exclusive VIP number on OgreLines. They know he'd never kill himself and can use him to boost their call count.