08/29/2015 FB Phil admits his very existence is a crime! ... and that he shoplifted. -

[AP 297]

 

[Bassomatic]

So I guess the judge will say not guilty?

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

Phil you should stop that it's illegal

 

[Hat]

But his very confession is based on a lie.

 

[bearycool]

Wow, the first time Phil has finally said truth!

 

[Thetan]

View attachment 45781

Dirty knuckles...

 

[autisticdragonkin]

It feels like Phil is a deep cover transphobe trying to discredit legitimate transgendered people

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Without a comma, "existing as a Transgender Latina Woman with Autism and Shoplifting" (nice Chris-Chan capitalization!) makes it sound like "Autism and Shoplifting" is one disorder. Or menu order. Like "haggis with neeps and tatties." (My autocorrect wants to change the latter, Scots for "potatoes," to "tattoos." Even my computer knows.)

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Could you shoplift a shower, Phil? That hand looks fucking filthy.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

, way to strike out at the "Cistem", lifting maps to countries you will never visit.

 

[Ruin]

How on earth could Phil get away with shoplifting? Everything about him screams scumbag that should be followed around by store security.

 

[AnOminous]

Maybe there should be a brief leaflet letting local businesses know he's a self-confessed thief.

Of course, they can probably tell to put security on him just from his obvious insanity and the foul stench he emits.

 

[bearycool]

How on earth could Phil get away with shoplifting? Everything about him screams scumbag that should be followed around by store security.

It's the smell: no one wants to get near that!

 

[Peace and Harmony]

So edgy, stealing a road map that gas stations give out for free

 

[Null]

I love this confession.

"The only crime I have ever committed was existing!, and shoplifting."

Also Pablo, you realize that map was probably printed by the Chinese, who exist in Mao Zedong's socialist paradise, right?

 

[CatParty]

Fifteen minutes from now he posts pics of the paper cuts from the road map claiming self harm

 

[Positron]

Let's see:

• Assault causing grievous bodily harm.
• Sexual assault of minors.
  
• Libel.
• Debt evasion.
  
• Hate speech.

You have committed more crime than shoplifting, Phil.

 

[Hyperion]

The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.
The second step is drowning yourself in the bay because nobody will miss you dealing with it.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Jesus, it's not like map stores (or bookstores) are rolling in profits, Hooves! Way to rip off a likely struggling business.

I hate thieves.

 

[Maxwell]

He probably stole that from a small independent bookstore. By doing this, Phil has stolen money from a small business. Phil is killing small business and aiding the corporations. I guess he's the "capitalist pig" that the Communists and Maoists talk about.