1/29/19 The exodus is canceled - Looks like the drunken ogre is here to stay

Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Called it.
The real issue here is twofold. Regardless of how popular his little twitter posts are, Toren will not find another roomie who will let him rule the place and drink himself blind while contributing fuck all. Phil will not find another human being who can stand existing near him. Neither have the resources for independent living, and they never will.

Toren and Phil do not get along, but this situation exists to begin with because there is nowhere left to go. Both have the option to either cohabitate or be homeless. They are literally trapped in this.
Think of it like a trailer park marriage: they hate each other, but have no option to ever leave, so they settle into a resentful peace with the situation.

I was so hoping Torren had finally been legally evicted. I don't know why the landlord is okay with some vodka goblin crashing in one of his apartments for free, I can't imagine the smelly duo can scrape up enough hard cash every month to making turning a blind eye worthwhile.
IIRC, It's one of those "homeless outreach" shitholes that'll rent to anyone with a pulse and a few bucks. The landlord either doesn't know or doesn't care, and the latter is likely.
The usual rule with these deals is that as long as the rent is on time and you don't get the cops called, you're good to do whatever the hell you want, just don't expect anything to ever be fixed, and don't expect them not to keep your deposit and fuck you in the ass with fees when you move.

In short, the landlord lets Phil live there. Does this sound like someone with standards for tenants?
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Fucking incredible. Phil yet again managed to turn a potential improvement in his life into a fuck-up. It’s funny, he was getting pretty cocky yesterday, for someone who’s supposedly just gone through a major break-up.

I think Toren just sits him down and explains what their relationship is and Phil just sits there and stares blankly. So according to Phil, they were still together last year during his GRS, even though Drunky was quite openly cruising for #analrips elsewhere and had already described him as just a friend. Soon after, he claimed he was marrying Xochi, which he now hopes we’ve forgotten. Then they were “QPGFs,” and Phil doesn’t know what platonic means. Their split was this tragic thing, torn apart by war - Phil had to protect his girlfriend. Now Toren is apparently not in danger, and again not Phil’s girlfriend, but he’s still living rent-free in Raisin-Brain’s apartment.
:story:
What I’m mostly getting from this is that Phil is too dumb to even understand his own relationship.
 

Lesbian Sleepover

Party Announcement
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
All jokes aside, this is saddening. Phil is a goofy fuck but even he doesn't deserve being sucked dry by a parasite .

I think this will explode further down the road .Once the actual apartment is in real jeopardy (a la inspection, management, harassing other tenants) Phil may HAVE to end his ultimate cucking .
 

ChurchOfGodBear

He's just this guy, you know?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
All jokes aside, this is saddening. Phil is a goofy fuck but even he doesn't deserve being sucked dry by a parasite .

I think this will explode further down the road .Once the actual apartment is in real jeopardy (a la inspection, management, harassing other tenants) Phil may HAVE to end his ultimate cucking .
Phil may not "deserve" it per se, but until his attitude toward others changes, this is honestly the best situation he can expect to have. I can say without hesitation that, if Phil wasn't being abused, he would be the abuser.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So either Slingblade caved in to Phil's begging and agreed to stay on a few conditions, or Slingblade's new mark backed out and Phil is relieved he still has his Attack Goblin in the event Kiwis break in.

"No longer romantically involved" LOLWUT? Since when were they romantically involved? Phil is terrified of sex and has a little baby dick so Slingblade can't get his #analrips on from him.

"Fortified" I don't think that means what Phil thinks it means. Fortified typically means protected, armored, reinforced. A shitty ass apartment with paper thin walls and windows isn't "fortified". Wouldn't even need to break in.
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"Fortified" I don't think that means what Phil thinks it means. Fortified typically means protected, armored, reinforced. A shitty ass apartment with paper thin walls and windows isn't "fortified". Wouldn't even need to break in.
Experts believe that the best way to get into Phil’s apartment is to knock at the door and say, “Hey Izzy! Let me in! It’s me, Izzy!”
 

4Macie

The Cow Dullahan
kiwifarms.net
Literally what?

He spent hours drafting up the perfect woe is me tweet about how his gf is leaving him because of Antifa fighting and kiwis. But now they’re still gonna live together but not date.

So why the breakup Phil?

I do like how Phil admits he can’t be in the bedroom or other parts of the house... including the sex dungeon. He was literally laughing at us a couple weeks ago that we assumed he was barred from anywhere in the house and now he freely admits it.
 

flossman

Draxx. Them. Sklounst.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
By " fortified Antifa barracks" does he mean a soiled, ratty pillow fort full of unsanitary BDSM gear and thrift store baseball bats to defend himself from imaginary fascists? Because that's what I'm envisioning in my mind.
Don’t forget the piece of paper with “ANTIFA FORT” written on it in crayon.
 
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