10/9/16 - Phil Begs for Toilet Paper "for his Bunghole" - Threatens to wipe with maps.

[Positron]

CW: sudden loud noise; obscure pop-culture references; pizza

Edit: youtube link courtesy of @Twrx

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

What he really wants it for.

 

[Spudnik]

Phil should just use those autistic maps he has all over the place.

 

[Bad Dog]

Phil should just use those autistic maps he has all over the place.

and thr pages from the lesbian sex book and other books he has that will never be of use for him.

 

[Twrx]

For those who don't want to download it.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Wait, the fact that he'd need to take a shit sometime did not figure into his plans? So he couldn't figure out that he'd need to budget for food, and now this? This underlines the fact that anyone donating because they think they're helping a poor person in need is throwing their money down a black hole. He hasn't even thought about how his new living arrangements are going to work. He's going to be surprised by every utility bill, every household expense and I wouldn't be surprised if he forgets about his rent as well. I've never seen someone fail so hard at a basic independent existence.

 

[Positron]

Wait, the fact that he'd need to take a shit sometime did not figure into his plans? So he couldn't figure out that he'd need to budget for food, and now this? This underlines the fact that anyone donating because they think they're helping a poor person in need is throwing their money down a black hole. He hasn't even thought about how his new living arrangements are going to work. He's going to be surprised by every utility bill, every household expense and I wouldn't be surprised if he forgets about his rent as well. I've never seen someone fail so hard at a basic independent existence.

Nah this is just a ploy to get more donations; Phil doesn't wipe.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

His poor neighbors. They're probably hard working Beavertownians, who just want to relax on their last day off before going back to the grindstone. And now they're being subjected to random screaming fits about toilet paper and pleas for cis money from the weirdo who moved in next door. God help them once the smell seeps in past the drywall.

 

[bacterium]

Someone must still be leaking to him if he is suddenly asking for TP..

 

[Sperglord Dante]

Wait, the fact that he'd need to take a shit sometime did not figure into his plans? So he couldn't figure out that he'd need to budget for food, and now this?

To be fair, it's the first time he's buying it.

 

[FramerGirl420]

I hope he gets a papercut.

Anyone else really surprised he actually wipes?

 

[Arkangel]

Inb4 "Wipe with a Knife"

 

[Very Honest Content]

Just use water, it comes out of the fountain in the bathroom Phil. Or take your clothes off, do your thing and then jump in the shower, water comes out of there if you operate the handles correctly.

How dare OP refer to the 2nd most famous Beavis routine ever as obscure?

 

[AnOminous]

I don't believe for a minute that Phil wipes, ever.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

I don't believe for a minute that Phil wipes, ever.

I guess it would be hard to think rationally with a crusty, itchy buttho-

You know what. No. I'm not going to finish that sentence. I've said enough.

 

[An Ghost]

'donate to hash tag izzy hell fire'
between him and the late great Phoenix Flame what's with all the troon fire references? cause they're flaming faggots?

also 'not to be facetious' *laughs loudly* 'facetious.... facetious....... facetious... not to be facetious but i need toilet paper' we get it phil you know some words instead of utterances

 

[StoicMoose]

Why... didn't he just take a shower... it's not ideal... but still...

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

CW: sudden loud noise; obscure pop-culture references; pizza

Edit: youtube link courtesy of @Twrx

A very convincing butthead, woman, not so much.

 

[ON 190]

Bitch, you can buy a huge thing of toilet paper at Aldi for less than $5. Hell, you could even steal napkins from the restaurants you no doubt go to.

 

[Erubetie]

Dollar Tree sells paper towels, napkins, tissues, and toilet paper. They also have cups, silverware, and dishes. Too bad it doesn't have any more excuses to ask for donations, it ran out of those ages ago.