[10 Mar 18] Phil and Xochi plan start-up business - Analchest Vegan Bicycle Cafe in Jewtopia. No donuts for you PIGS!

[Positron]

Start-Up Business idea.
Xochi and I *talking about the future*

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Me: “Xochi, if I do end up moving to so-called "Israel” , occupied Palestine with You, can we start like an anarchist cafe in Haifa where we do coffee and vegan food and drinks and totally do bike delivery of said coffee and vegan food and drinks…“


Xochi: "I think You are on to something here…hmm, an anarchist cafe and coffee bike delivery…. I like this idea! Go on!”


Me: “Also the cafe will refuse to serve cops and IDF soldiers and pretty much the government except for the Arab Members of the Knesset”


Xochi: “I love this idea…

What should we call it?!”


Me: “(A) No-State Solution.”


Xochi: “I fucking love this idea.”

 

[Very Honest Content]

Phil hasn't had a future in decades now. This is his least worst idea in a while though.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

I bet he spend countless man hours working on this.

 

[m0rnutz]

Dissociative identities don't talk to each other, Phil. This is just you roleplaying out a conversation you'd have with your friends. If you had friends.

This would be doomed to fail because he couldn't fucking ride his bike in the heat for a minute, much less make a profit in a nation literally built around Jews.

Not only that, but his antisemitism is kicking back in and it's fucking beautiful.

 

[Tonebender]

He’s a hundred legos short of building his dream.
Can’t wait to see his crayola mockups next to his vagina countdown.

 

[obliviousbeard]

So, he larps discussion with imaginary friends about moving to place where he can't afford to travel to start a business he really can't run which includes bicycles he can't ride. This is the power of special interests.

 

[de_DEVIL_tails]

Haifa had a pretty prominent gay community, not as well known as tel aviv...while im not too sure how the no serving idf members will go since conscription is manditory, i applaud his research he put into this idea. He should totally do it.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

At least the gentle tolerant Palestinians probably won't misgender him

 

[admiral]

Cheese isn't vegan, Phil.

 

[The Dude]

Cheese isn't vegan, Phil.

Neither is anything else Phil eats.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I was going to point out the absurdity of pretending to plan a business with an imaginary friend. But then it occurred to me that literally every idea Phil has is destined to go nowhere, so fuck it, why not bring Xochi in? Why not throw in a few dragons and a teleporter? It’s not like things can get any less viable.

 

[Deadpool]

Is there a market in Israel for disgusting food and coffee that's ice cold by the time the obese, rat faced, troon finally huffs and puffs his way pushing a bike to your house? Not to mention he'd probably collapse at your doorstep from exhaustion and heatstroke.

 

[MG 620]

"The cafe will refuse to serve cops and IDF soldiers" - yeah, I'm sure if will work out well in a place like Israel.

 

[Baobinga]

I'm pretty sure he would be declined entry based on some of his tattoos alone. Lots of that shit would get his throat slit in a place like isreal.

 

[Ruin]

I have to admit I'm amused by the thought of his anti Semitic personality and his Jewish personality having an autistic slapfight.

 

[Bassomatic]

"The cafe will refuse to serve cops and IDF soldiers" - yeah, I'm sure if will work out well in a place like Israel.

Funniest part, I'm sure Phil is unaware they have conscription, so he's pretty much saying we just won't serve the population.

 

[MG 620]

I'm sure Phil is unaware about pretty much anything.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Is there a market in Israel for disgusting food and coffee

Yes. Yes there is. In fact Israel is currently booming with the vegan trend. There's over 400 restaurants catering to this particular niche and can be quite profitable.

Phil's problem is a just a list of obvious shit. Sure we could name off the usual ones like money, tattoos, intelligence; these are easy pickings.

So I'm gonna dig deeper. Phil doesn't seem to understand that 'vegan' is not the same thing as 'vegetarian', though they are related.
A vegan does not wear or eat anything that's an animal byproduct.
A vegetarian doesn't eat meat.

Somewhere Phil mixed the two up and thinks just eating veggies makes him vegan; one look at his 'vegan pizza' and his crust (which contains eggs) already pretty much shoots that idea right in the ass. The funniest thing, however, is Phil seemingly thinking he can open a vegan cafe when he can't even cook. We've all seen his fridge and we all know he eats out 90% of the time.

But let's give him just a little bit of leeway here, just a bit. Let's say he keeps the menu super simple. Just wraps or sandwiches (much more expensive given he has to use bread not made with eggs) and coffee. He can't just throw a few slices of cucumber and lettuce on a sandwich, slop some coffee in a to-go cup and expect people to pay for that. Coffee is a pretty shit choice for a drink when you're eating salad. It's bitter and hot and you're using that to wash down a crisp and refreshing mouthful of veggies? Not to mention he's competing with professionals when he's not even in the running. He's bottom tier cooking wise. A prep cook is more qualified to start a cafe than he is.

Sure this is all a moot point considering it will never happen. It's just that extra bit of sadness that when it comes to being a cow he actually dips below the bar. Chris fancies himself an artist but he can actually draw to some degree and get paid for it. Tom Tooter thinks himself a musician but he can at least toot out musical notes that sound barely passable enough to get people to throw pocket change at him. DSP sees himself as a gamer when he can barely beat the tutorial but people dump money on him to see more.

Phil has never once shown any actual interest in cooking and yet wants to travel around the world to open a cafe. Show us a vegan recipe, Phil. We've watched you shovel a piece of chocolate cake into your mouth so let's see you cook and eat an actual vegan dish you pussy. Otherwise it's just another lie in the big book of shit you've lied about.

 

[Deadpool]

Yes. Yes there is. In fact Israel is currently booming with the vegan trend. There's over 400 restaurants catering to this particular niche and can be quite profitable.

Phil's problem is a just a list of obvious shit. Sure we could name off the usual ones like money, tattoos, intelligence; these are easy pickings.

So I'm gonna dig deeper. Phil doesn't seem to understand that 'vegan' is not the same thing as 'vegetarian', though they are related.
A vegan does not wear or eat anything that's an animal byproduct.
A vegetarian doesn't eat meat.

Somewhere Phil mixed the two up and thinks just eating veggies makes him vegan; one look at his 'vegan pizza' and his crust (which contains eggs) already pretty much shoots that idea right in the ass. The funniest thing, however, is Phil seemingly thinking he can open a vegan cafe when he can't even cook. We've all seen his fridge and we all know he eats out 90% of the time.

But let's give him just a little bit of leeway here, just a bit. Let's say he keeps the menu super simple. Just wraps or sandwiches (much more expensive given he has to use bread not made with eggs) and coffee. He can't just throw a few slices of cucumber and lettuce on a sandwich, slop some coffee in a to-go cup and expect people to pay for that. Coffee is a pretty shit choice for a drink when you're eating salad. It's bitter and hot and you're using that to wash down a crisp and refreshing mouthful of veggies? Not to mention he's competing with professionals when he's not even in the running. He's bottom tier cooking wise. A prep cook is more qualified to start a cafe than he is.

Sure this is all a moot point considering it will never happen. It's just that extra bit of sadness that when it comes to being a cow he actually dips below the bar. Chris fancies himself an artist but he can actually draw to some degree and get paid for it. Tom Tooter thinks himself a musician but he can at least toot out musical notes that sound barely passable enough to get people to throw pocket change at him. DSP sees himself as a gamer when he can barely beat the tutorial but people dump money on him to see more.

Phil has never once shown any actual interest in cooking and yet wants to travel around the world to open a cafe. Show us a vegan recipe, Phil. We've watched you shovel a piece of chocolate cake into your mouth so let's see you cook and eat an actual vegan dish you pussy. Otherwise it's just another lie in the big book of shit you've lied about.

I wasn't saying vegan food is gross (I've never had it and probably never will). Just that any food touched or prepared by Phil would be gross (both because he's unhygenic, and doesn't know how to cook anyway) and anyone who saw him wouldn't want to eat it.

 

[niggers]

Me: “Also the cafe will refuse to serve cops and IDF soldiers and pretty much the government except for the Arab Members of the Knesset”

"lets open up a cafe in israel and make the theme 'we love terrorists' this is a cool plan'"

phil entirely exists on this lovely sine wave of delusion that i don't think any other cow can match