11/1/21 Chris Chan Phone Call Update

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The Dude

Kill a Commie for Mommy.
True & Honest Fan
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Mar 24, 2013
I'll never get why some are so reluctant to believe that Chris had sex with a prostitute. Are they just bitter that Chris had sex and they haven't or something? Get over it.

Chris is a perv and spent a lot of his adult life watching porn. He knows what having sex looks like and he was terrified of going to jail as a virgin. He wouldn't have let some hooker trick him like that, despite how dumb and gullible he is. And he ended up seeing her twice. You honestly think he would have gone to her a second time if he didn't get what he wanted the first time? Do you know how fucking re-tarded that sounds? You'd have to be more of a tard than Chris to believe that shit. And that doesn't even touch on the fact that it was his former trolls who set the whole thing up for him.
 

mikaylatoads

[adult swim]
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He knows what having sex looks like and he was terrified of going to jail as a virgin.
Are you referring to Mia Hamm? I'm confused on how this fits in with 'terrified of going to jail as a virgin'? These events were separated by 10(?) years, weren't they?
 

Positron

Team Bartók
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Just a random thought. Given how Chris is now a religious nut and has dropped the shrilly high-pitcher voice he had been doing, do you reckon he’s dropped the whole transgender shtick?
"Goddess Log", what do you think?

Chris doesn't follow religion; religion follows Chris.
 

coryiodine

nutsack lord
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Since the caller has joined, this seems like as good of a thread as any to ask what you’d want people to ask Chris if they choose to make contact. Personally, I want someone to ask what Chris and his lawyer talk about and how often they meet. It would probably help figure out what he thinks his situation is
Yeah I was really hoping he'd call back because the thing about my phone call was, he didn't give me a heads up or timeframe he'd call. And you can't call him/ Call back. So I was driving and got his call and had to literally pull off the side of the road and quickly record it. I had no time to really make up questions and just had to wing it. I didn't get to ask alot of what I wanted to since it wasn'twell planned or expected. But I also did get alot of good info I didn't even ask for so I can't complain. I feel like alot of things I was curious about got an answer..even if the answer just made me more confused.
 
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Yksi_Toveri

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Joined
Oct 5, 2021
Yeah I was really hoping he'd call back because the thing about my phone call was, he didn't give me a heads up or timeframe he'd call. And you can't call him/ Call back. So I was driving and got his call and had to literally pull off the side of the road and quickly record it. I had no time to really make up questions and just had to wing it. I didn't get to ask alot of what I wanted to since it wasn'twell planned or expected. But I also did get alot of good info I didn't even ask for so I can't complain. I feel like alot of things I was curious about got an answer..even if the answer just made me more confused.
If he calls again, my request for questions/answers would include:
1). Is jail as bad as he expected?
2). Aware that he's isolated from the other inmates, who does he talk to often?
3). WHAT THE HELL DID BARB'S LETTER(s) SAY?!?!
4). How is Heilberg treating him?
5). Have they given him any medications?

No pressure on you, of course, but I am curious about these items.
 

coryiodine

nutsack lord
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Nov 25, 2021
If he calls again, my request for questions/answers would include:
1). Is jail as bad as he expected?
2). Aware that he's isolated from the other inmates, who does he talk to often?
3). WHAT THE HELL DID BARB'S LETTER(s) SAY?!?!
4). How is Heilberg treating him?
5). Have they given him any medications?

No pressure on you, of course, but I am curious about these items.
no problem I'll write these down in what I call my, "Goddess Log" lmao im jk. It's just a normal piece of paper. Seriously though if he does ever call again I'll ask these.
I have a feeling though for number 2 he'd say something like "To the angels and I have hubbychu and rosechu" something like that
 
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GumballFapper

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Joined
Sep 10, 2021
no problem I'll write these down in what I call my, "Goddess Log" lmao im jk. It's just a normal piece of paper. Seriously though if he does ever call again I'll ask these.
I have a feeling though for number 2 he'd say something like "To the angels and I have hubbychu and rosechu" something like that
If you don't mind, can you ask about his relationship with Bella as well?
 
Joined
Jun 1, 2021
If he calls again, my request for questions/answers would include:
1). Is jail as bad as he expected?
2). Aware that he's isolated from the other inmates, who does he talk to often?
3). WHAT THE HELL DID BARB'S LETTER(s) SAY?!?!
4). How is Heilberg treating him?
5). Have they given him any medications?

No pressure on you, of course, but I am curious about these items.
I agree that Barb’s letter is what I’m most curious about, but I’m just not sure how anyone could ask about it in a way that would produce a reliable answer from Chris.
 

coryiodine

nutsack lord
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If you don't mind, can you ask about his relationship with Bella as well?
yeah I'll add that one too
I'm curious as well

I agree that Barb’s letter is what I’m most curious about, but I’m just not sure how anyone could ask about it in a way that would produce a reliable answer from Chris.
I think I could if he'd ever call again. I've even considered maybe he hasn't because his legal counsel told him not to be making anymore calls since he says too much on them that hurts their case..
 
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The Dude

Kill a Commie for Mommy.
True & Honest Fan
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Mar 24, 2013
Are you referring to Mia Hamm? I'm confused on how this fits in with 'terrified of going to jail as a virgin'? These events were separated by 10(?) years, weren't they?

I was referring to the first time it looked like he might be getting a jail sentence after hitting Snyder with their van. Chris was convinced he'd get jail time and die from going on a hunger strike while incarcerated. He didn't want to die a virgin. Seriously, this is common knowledge about Chris. Are you new to all this or something?
 

Tennis-Ball-Tony

Coolest cracker in the box
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Dec 1, 2015
Yeah I was really hoping he'd call back because the thing about my phone call was, he didn't give me a heads up or timeframe he'd call. And you can't call him/ Call back. So I was driving and got his call and had to literally pull off the side of the road and quickly record it. I had no time to really make up questions and just had to wing it. I didn't get to ask alot of what I wanted to since it wasn'twell planned or expected. But I also did get alot of good info I didn't even ask for so I can't complain. I feel like alot of things I was curious about got an answer..even if the answer just made me more confused.
@Yksi_Toveri is right, see if you can ask about the charges, maybe say something about "trolls are trying to get you convicted of felony rape because VA has the death penalty!" or something. Right now we only know about the incest charge, but nothing else beyond that. Maybe Chris will talk about his lawyer.

Oh, see if he has any words of wisdom on Heilberg being a member of the tribe.
 

coryiodine

nutsack lord
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Joined
Nov 25, 2021
@Yksi_Toveri is right, see if you can ask about the charges, maybe say something about "trolls are trying to get you convicted of felony rape because VA has the death penalty!" or something. Right now we only know about the incest charge, but nothing else beyond that. Maybe Chris will talk about his lawyer.

Oh, see if he has any words of wisdom on Heilberg being a member of the tribe.
good point I didn't even think about the other charges.. I bet they found some bad stuff in his computer or something . I'll definitely ask him about these if I ever get another call
 

Tikbalang

Wear your shirt inwards out
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Joined
Oct 21, 2018
Yeah I was really hoping he'd call back because the thing about my phone call was, he didn't give me a heads up or timeframe he'd call. And you can't call him/ Call back. So I was driving and got his call and had to literally pull off the side of the road and quickly record it. I had no time to really make up questions and just had to wing it. I didn't get to ask alot of what I wanted to since it wasn'twell planned or expected. But I also did get alot of good info I didn't even ask for so I can't complain. I feel like alot of things I was curious about got an answer..even if the answer just made me more confused.
Then ask him his phone call schedule or a timeframe where he'll more likely to call at that time. I understand it's jail, you can't call him anytime unless you're a council.

Ask him...
  • If he heard the two terms: Junie Cakes and Don't drop the soap
  • Whether or not he has a prison nickname that is given by fellow inmates and guards.
  • About how he makes bottled ramen noodles in detail. Can he just buy a tupperware in the commissary? If he doesn't know what that is, explain it to him.
 

Jack Haywood

Interested in psychology, games and adventure
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Jun 10, 2015
It's remarkable how day by day Chris seems to be exploring more and more distant reaches of despicableness. Prison has crystalized his worst attributes. He's at the point now where I can't even picture him in normal society. Can you imagine how talk like this would go over at his old church, with the neighbors, or with people at the mall? It's only been a few months and he's degenerated into not being at all functional in society. When he does eventually get out, behavior like this is going to get him either punched out or slapped right back in cuffs, or both.
He's only been barely functional for YEARS.
 

Caesare

True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Jul 23, 2016
I figure at the very least he got a blow job. It's the simplest explanation -- prostitutes get slobs worse than Chris all the time
Sure they do, but those slobs aren't reetarded like Chris and have experience with these kind of women, and even they have gotten fucked over from a prostitute before. It's a common thing.

Chris has zero experience with even normal women who aren't savvy, street smart, hustlers. This Mia Hamm saw him coming from 9 miles away, and she knew as soon as he spoke that he was going to be an easy mark.

And a prostitute will try to get money for nothing every single time especially with someone with Chris's obvious defiencies. She got the money up front, and Chris gladly handed it over, then she either left or got him out of there.

That's a rookie movie, paying up front. It was his first time(and only time afaik), he paid up front and got his money stolen. That's virtually a guarantee.

Idk anything about what fanfiction is, I'm not 12 years old. But this is just common sense. Anyone who truly thinks otherwise is nearly as naive as Chris is.
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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Joined
Aug 2, 2021
@Yksi_Toveri is right, see if you can ask about the charges, maybe say something about "trolls are trying to get you convicted of felony rape because VA has the death penalty!" or something. Right now we only know about the incest charge, but nothing else beyond that. Maybe Chris will talk about his lawyer.

That would be a horrible, irresponsible lie because:

1) The Supreme Court abolished the death penalty for crimes not successfully causing the death of another in 2008 (outside of treason, since that's the only crime in the constitution, and that's iffy)

2) Virginia abolished the death penalty in March of 2021.
 

coryiodine

nutsack lord
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Joined
Nov 25, 2021
That would be a horrible, irresponsible lie because:

1) The Supreme Court abolished the death penalty for crimes not successfully causing the death of another in 2008 (outside of treason, since that's the only crime in the constitution, and that's iffy)

2) Virginia abolished the death penalty in March of 2021.
Yeah I thought that was a bit extreme. but I'd like to figure out his other charges as well.
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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Joined
Aug 2, 2021
Yeah I thought that was a bit extreme. but I'd like to figure out his other charges as well.

His case is currently in J&DR court, so we can't look up case history. Also CVRJ's website, including inmate search, is dead, so we can't look up his booking info either. Currently it's fairly safe to say that he has no other charges, or if there are any they are only misdemeanors. If he is arraigned on a felony the case will automatically transfer to Circuit Court as J&DR cannot handle felonies.

My best guess is this whole time he has only been charged with one count of misdemeanor incest. The prosecutor may have discussed additional charges with the defense attorney while hashing out a deal, but nothing is official yet.