11/10/2015 Phil Risks His Life To Protect Fellow Commuters -

[Thetan]

Phil, in a surprising moment of altruism and self sacrifice, risks his life by checking out a suspicious backpack that he believes may have been planted by a Kiwi Farms or Gamer Gate activist (or maybe Kengle or some other transmisogynist or other group that hates him).

Then again, this little feel good story could be total and utter bullshit and he's simply fishing for ass-pats again.

Spoiler: Accompanying Image

 

[Gagamaru]

i see phil and i say 'potato'

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

Dammit people, we talked about this.
You connect the blue wire to the terminal labeled "B", then prime the charge.
Phil escapes the DewRitos Hit Squad once again.

 

[niggers]

"that could be a bomb"

"lemme stand in front of it for a few minutes to make sure"

 

[StupidSexyFlanders]

again, Phil!

 

[gophergoober]

geez, he really thinks we want to kill him, what a dumbass. No one will waste their time and effort on killing phil, he is doing such a great job by himself.

 

[Thetan]

"that could be a bomb"

"lemme stand in front of it for a few minutes to make sure"

Maybe this is a new twist on Phils [fake] suicide threat shtick (which doesn't seem to be working so well for him anymore).

He may also be trying to work the whole idea that there nefarious plot to kill him in order to milk more ass-pats and pity points (remember the fake drive-by?).

Dammit people, we talked about this.
You connect the blue wire to the terminal labeled "B", then prime the charge.
Phil escapes the DewRitos Hit Squad once again.

We need to disguise some plastique as a block of cheese, then have one of our operatives detonate it from a safe distance (preferably when there are no innocent bystanders nearby).

It could even simpler than that. I'm sure the poor mini-wage barista who has to put up with Phil's bullshit would, for a few bucks, be willing to slip a little something extra into his overpriced latte.

 

[Truant]

eight paragraphs to say what could've been said on one

 

[Pillow]

>[…]kill innocent people or me […]

Shut up Phil.

 

[Smutley]

'At least it wasn't Kengle's bag..."

Phil is right to worry about the bags (bombs) that @Thundersteam (a muslim) leaves places.

 

[Tranhuviya]

Thwarted again. If only we had gone with the suicide vest.

 

[Bassomatic]

I think the real cliffs are someone left their bag and it had a ham and cheese in it Phil could smell it so he steals some poor guy's sandwich and cooks this story up to paint himself a hero.

 

[GetShrekt]

Philly-boy accusing a practicing Muslim of leaving a bomb, but doesn't want other people to discriminate. Can you smell that? Well, other than the stench of decaying mutating potato flesh, that's the sweet smell of irony.

 

[Zim]

That was just the test bag to see if he's dumb enough to stand in front of the real one. Mission accomplished fellow members of KOFO.

It still cracks me up to think that he believes he's important enough that we'd all be following him.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Good thing the bag was actually releasing weaponized AIDS as a vapour. Have fun, Phil!

 

[Peace and Harmony]

What really happened: Phil shat himself at the bus terminal.

 

[galact0r]

Acuses people of being "basement dwellers" whilst continuing to be so dumb and financially irresponsible that he lives under a bridge.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

I missed this level of autism, so happy Phil still reaches these heights in retardation still.

 

[vittek]

Only a matter of time till his paranoia causes him to do something really stupid and he ends up getting punched in the mouth or ends up in jail.. or both.
That will be a glorious day.

 

[GetShrekt]

Only a matter of time till his paranoia causes him to do something really stupid and he ends up getting punched in the mouth or ends up in jail.. or both.
That will be a glorious day.

On the bright side if Phil goes to jail that means that he'll get three square meals a day and not have to live under a bridge. That, and they might actually get him the mental help he needs.