[11-20-16] Phil talks about reaching 1000 on his GoFundMe -

[Twrx]

 

[Beaniebon]

Everyone who donated to Phil should be sterilized

 

[Positron]

"Choke up" -- what a fancy way to say his potato mind can't make up bullshit fast enough.

"We can do this. We can reach the goal" -- more like "you better reach my goal."

 

[Faulty Keurig]

I like how he throws riding his bike to a job in as sort of an afterthought.

 

[An Ghost]

"[pauses for way too long] thank you all... [pauses] this recovery [pauses] will be sought through [pauses] thank you all again."
if youre gonna have Vikki write a script at least learn how to read.

 

[Bassomatic]

This is the only way to waste a 1000 dollars faster than betting against the Globe Trotters.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Why is he recording his wall while he's talking? Did he not have time to grab a black marker and put on his face?

 

[Coldgrip]

So how much money is Slingblade going to take from Phil? I'm betting all of it.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

if youre gonna have Vikki write a script at least learn how to read.

Probably had it written on cards and sling blade is too slow on the shuffle

 

[The Lizard Queen]

Read by Morgan Freeman

Each winter, alone in the pitiless wasteland of Oregon, deep in the most inhospitable terrain on Earth, a truly remarkable display takes place as it has done for millennia. The North American White Potato-man abandons the freedom and security of his outdoor home to clamber into a secluded den to begin the long process of finding sustenance to see him through the winter.
This lone male has no chance of finding a mate, so he seeks new food sources alone, in a land so inhospitable that it can not even support a football team.

Guided by instinct, the potato heads unerringly for his traditional scavenging ground where - after a series of intricate gestures and delicate maneuvering, accompanied by a cacophony of vocalizations - he will attempt to deceive other members of his species and acquire their resources. Deception is the key to his survival, and if he cannot gather enough for the winter he will resort to impotent threats of violence, or die in the cold after he is forced from his den by a stronger, more intelligent creature.

 

[Darndirty]

Who knew you could just set up a fund raiser for your life. why did no one tell me this was an option?

 

[melty]

He's going to spend it all on cheese and then get even fatter because he's a fat cheese eating fatty fat fatty.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Anyone who gives Phil money is a bigger lolcow than he is.

 

[Guy Smiley]

So this is a total of $1000 earned over the last three months, right? How much of it has already been spent on maps, butt plugs, and stupid multicolored baseball bats? Cause there's NO way Phil's been saving his money. I'm willing to bet that aside from the most recent donation, that entire $1000 is already gone.

 

[Ray Streip]

He sounds so ungrateful, must be an aspie thing when it comes to these donations.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[pauses]

Maybe Phil's brain is buffering?

 

[Taily Puff]

Who knew you could just set up a fund raiser for your life. why did no one tell me this was an option?

Right, I didn't realize being this shameless was actually a standard thing. Time to go set up a fundraiser because I like expensive liquor but usually end up buying cheap stuff.

I'm willing to bet that aside from the most recent donation, that entire $1000 is already gone.

He spent $80 in tranny bats and what, $140 on a shitty movie replica knife? That's a fifth gone right there before all his other stupid shit.

 

[Here to Lurk]

riding his bike to a job

When did Phil get a job? And when did he learn how to ride a bike?

 

[Dr.Research]

I can't find the clip but there's a joke in a recent Family Guy episode where Frank Sinatra Jr. mentions setting up a GoFundMe to get money to buy a restaurant, then it cuts and he mentions going to the bank to get a loan like an adult. That's now what I think of when I think of Phil's Phundraising.

Also really diggin' the tacky interior and how it's decorated like a cheap college dorm.

 

[The Dude]

Why would anyone waste their money on this man? I just can't feature it. There are so many people or charities that are much more deserving of funding than Phil.