I appreciate that Tom's definition of being female is literally; having flabby arms, liking to wear dresses, and cooking & cleaning.When did I realize that I was cisgendered?
I never came to such a realization.
I didn't have any awareness of these words until they started gaining currency.
All I had was the body of a girl, which turned into the body of a teenager, then an adult.
As my body matured and aged through the decades I have dressed it, adorned it, kept it warm and comfortable, presented it .... accepted it, with all of its aches and pains, treated it as well as I can ...
The concept of being "cisgendered" never, ever crosses my mind, as I move like a girl-pawn through time and space.
We need to get away from categorical thinking about what women do, that makes them women, and what men do that makes them men.
If I pick up a hammer or drill, that is not me expressing my inner masculity, because there is nothing inherently masculine about a hammer or a drill.
It is just a hammer and a drill. Their function is not to masculinize the user. Their function is to bang nails into wood, and drill holes.
There is no point in reading gender into every thing we do. You will go bonkers.
Fun fact: Tom doesn't clean and lives in filth.