12/02/2016 - Phat Phil Phinally Gets His Bike! -

[Flame the Sunbird]

Now taking odds on how long it will take him to learn to ride!

Spoiler

Isabel Rosa Araujo at Trimet - Beaverton Transit Center.
56 mins · Beaverton, OR ·
My bike, the KHS Town and Country in front on the TriMet Bus rack of bus #2808 .

 

[RP 520]

Now taking odds on how long it will take him to learn to ride!

Inb4 this turns out to be yet another instance of Phil taking pictures of bikes he sees on the street and claiming it's his.

 

[Redeemer and Destroyer]

I feel sorry for the bus driver who has to see a large deranged white man oogling after a bike.

 

[Goofy Logic]

Inb4 Phil realizing pedaling is hard and he sets it in a corner

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Ill believe it when I see a pic of him on the bike.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

Even if this was real (it isn't) Phil would masturbate over the handle for a few weeks and then dump the bike in his storage unit. Or nail it to the wall and label it as "EMERGENCY ESCAPE IN CASE OF TRANSMISOGYNYST KIWI INVASION"

 

[Tragi-Chan]

If he actually does own it - and I'll want to see some reasonable proof - I bet he'll hold off on learning to ride until he's got all the expensive accessories he's been e-begging for. Then he'll learn how to ride and the job search will begin in earpfaaa ha ha sorry couldn't finish that sentence.

 

[Bassomatic]

Everyone else is beaten me to the punch but, he's fetishized bikes before pretending they are his. I wouldn't rule out a ruse again, but also spudkins may have valued a few ass pats over rent at this point in his life.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Ill believe it when I see a pic of him on the bike.

Phil has set a precedent of "pics or it didn't happen" with claims he makes. Unless he takes a pic of the Spudbike in the Spudcave, I'm skeptical Phil even got a bike. And even if he did post a pic of one there, there's still the possibility he stole it.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Phil has set a precedent of "pics or it didn't happen" with claims he makes. Unless he takes a pic of the Spudbike in the Spudcave, I'm skeptical Phil even got a bike. And even if he did post a pic of one there, there's still the possibility he stole it.

I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up at the sellers house, they took one look (smell) at him and just closed the door.

 

[Here to Lurk]

How do you hurt your prostrate riding a bike? Is he shoving the seat up his ass?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

How do you hurt your prostrate riding a bike?

Phil claimed it was a sensory overload issue from back when he tried to learn to ride a bike as a kid. Sensory overload was a main reason he claimed he was getting his balls removed.

 

[Tonebender]

Found footage of Phil riding his bike

Spoiler

 

[Here to Lurk]

Phil claimed it was a sensory overload issue from back when he tried to learn to ride a bike as a kid. Sensory overload was a main reason he claimed he was getting his balls removed.

So what's the real reason why Phil never learned to ride a bike? Is he just that exceptional or what?

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

So what's the real reason why Phil never learned to ride a bike? Is he just that exceptional or what?

I mean yeah, he's just that :autism::autism::autism:.

 

[RI 360]

He doesn't have the coordination to cut a potato in two, very excited for his first ride in traffic.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

He got the bike so he wouldn't have to take the bus. So of course the first thing he does after getting a bike is attach it to a bus.

 

[Bassomatic]

Maybe I'm giving Phil too much credit here, but maybe he took the picture to "prove" he did this... and he lied. But his next step... it was "stolen" gib monie plz?

 

[kobebyarlant]

He should prove us all wrong and film himself riding it.
Oh right. He can't ride a bike.

 

[Twrx]

I'll believe it when I see a picture of it in the apartment. I wonder how short on rent he is right now.