12/11/13 - Consider Me Dead -

[Globe]

This is the latest email that's going around. Based on the subject line, I suspect that there's more, but this is all I was able to get my MANOS on. Sorry for the heavy editing. With all of the recent ween activity, I don't want to risk compromising my contacts.

Spoiler

Seems Chris' sadness over the high school bombshell is starting to turn to loathing. Par the course, huh? Does anybody else think his writing is kinda starting to resemble Gertrude Stein's?

 

[Mourning Dove]

I'm thinking his writing is starting to resemble repetition and severe butthurt.

 

[Trombonista]

He's basically just turned his November 19th post into an email.

 

[Mauvman Shuffleboard]

It has never been more appropriate to say this. DIE CHRIS.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

He really needs to buy a bottle of Kahlua and force a smile on his face.

For fucks sake Chris, this is Christmas time, the season of joy. Isn't it snowing in Virginia yet? Can't you hear those ring-ding-dingaling of Santa's Sleigh in the near future? Maybe he's bringing that pretty girlfriend for you.

Oh wait, you're too goddamn unassertive to find a woman yourself.

 

[The I Scream Man]

He really needs to buy a bottle of Kahlua and force a smile on his face.

For fucks sake Chris, this is Christmas time, the season of joy. Isn't it snowing in Virginia yet? Can't you hear those ring-ding-dingaling of Santa's Sleigh in the near future? Maybe he's bringing that pretty girlfriend for you.

Oh wait, you're too goddamn unassertive to find a woman yourself.

Santa, like Godbear, helps those who help themselves.

 

[R.A.E.L.]

"Getting uncomfortably close to and trying to touch you all does not make me a Freaking CREEP! "

 

[Donald Duck]

I find it amusing that he still thinks the reunion will happen or that the galpals would even show up to see him.

Anyone else felt a little weirded out that he called himself a wallflower?

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

[youtube]XFkzRNyygfk[/youtube]

 

[_blank_]

In this email, he seems to be damn certain that HS Reunion is going to happen, and all of his gal-pals are going to drop everything, just so he can... what, sit alone at the kid's table and scowl at them? Oh boy, that's definitely got to be a selling point.

Truly, not creepy at all.

Spoiler

[youtube]Tj0TmphLDsQ[/youtube]

NOT.

Spoiler

[youtube]nBUzZowEt1E[/youtube]

CREEPY.

Spoiler

[youtube]wEKLxgRJnAc[/youtube]

AT.

Spoiler

[youtube]BZCxX-VvEjU[/youtube]

ALL.

 

[Trombonista]

Anyone else felt a little weirded out that he called himself a wallflower?

Yep.

Remember, he doesn't actually refer to The Wallflower as The Wallflower, though.

 

[tehpope]

Jesus Chris, can you be any more of a wet blanket?

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Anyone else felt a little weirded out that he called himself a wallflower?

Yep.

Remember, he doesn't actually refer to The Wallflower as The Wallflower, though.

"Wallflower" is old timey slang for a quiet and asocial girl.

 

[Male]

"Consider me DEAD
Good Bye" -CWC

Somehow I get the feeling that this isn't the last we'll see of Chris Weston Chandler.

 

[4Macie]

WHY does he do this??? I'm sorry but the "he's Chris" answer just doesn't work for me anymore. WTF. The only reason for this email is that he hopes for someone, anyone, to tell him "no, Chris, we still appreciate you. We're still friends". But guess what, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I'm genuinely scared for anyone that shows up to this reunion with Chris. If they go, and he sees them, he's either going to attach himself to anyone that makes eye contact or says so much as a "hello" in his general direction; OR he's going to go bat shit insane at the reunion.

 

[Donald Duck]

Anyone else felt a little weirded out that he called himself a wallflower?

Yep.

Remember, he doesn't actually refer to The Wallflower as The Wallflower, though.

"Wallflower" is old timey slang for a quiet and asocial girl.

Oh, so for once Chris used an appropriate term to describe himself.

 

[The Nameless One]

WHY does he do this??? I'm sorry but the "he's Chris" answer just doesn't work for me anymore. WTF. The only reason for this email is that he hopes for someone, anyone, to tell him "no, Chris, we still appreciate you. We're still friends". But guess what, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I'm genuinely scared for anyone that shows up to this reunion with Chris. If they go, and he sees them, he's either going to attach himself to anyone that makes eye contact or says so much as a "hello" in his general direction; OR he's going to go bat shit insane at the reunion.

Or he'd sit/stand in a corner, play his DS while scowling, then go home before too long in order to sulk and post sad updates on Facebook about how miserable he is that nobody talked to him.

 

[homerbeoulve]

They had considered him "dead" before this. Argument debunked.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Yeah, the reunion's not going to happen. Ever.

Also:

Consider me DEAD

Huh. Wonder were he got his flair for melodrama . . .

What you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us!

Imma kill myself, Christian!

. . . oh.

 

[AtroposHeart]

Seriously, I am feeling bad for these "gal-pals" they have this man whose been out of their life for more than a decade suddenly come into it and being all creepy and dumping his emotion problems on them, like they can fix everything. I would be so creeped out by this. Of course, Chris expects this to get him pity and doesn't even began to realize how creepy he is being and neediness is a major turn off to women.