FIGGIN [13 Feb 19] Phil gets horny and kinky despite rotting groin - Plans to "citizen arrest" hunks and handcuffs them in his dungeon

[Positron]

Ball and chain around ankle is exactly what Phil wants Slingblade to do to him.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

But....but....his painful vagina!

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Who are these likes coming from? Weens? Fellow antifas?

 

[Wallace]

Remarkable that Phil claims to feel arousal despite having no balls. More likely he's enchanted with the Platonic idea of kink. When it comes to actually doing it, he's as incompetent as everything else he tries.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Who are these likes coming from? I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME? Fellow antifas?

Yes

 

[MMX]

But....but....his painful and oozing open wound!

FTFY

 

[Tragi-Chan]

He talks a lot about arresting people for someone who claims to be anti-cop. I guess this proves that he secretly loves the police and wants to join them. This at least explains why he looks like a pig.

(Also, Phil, drop the edgelord kink bullshit, we all know that every time you’ve had sex you’ve wound up crying like a little bitch)

 

[MG 620]

Exactly. There are more philty phils out there. Sorry for ruining your appetite.

 

[Bassomatic]

I have mixed feelings how funny itll be when phil cuffs him self and cant get free and toren is passed out drunk for 16 hours.

Firstly itll be amazingly funny.

Wait, no mixed feelings. Phil playing with cuffs can only end in kiwi victory.

Phil does wish he was a cop due to his power fantasies, why he hates them is just as simple. Phil's a big old dummy who makes his true intentions easy to spot.

Reality phil mentally is 10 at 10 we all wanted to be sheriff but no one else. But most of us at 10 didnt poop ourselves Phil does that still mid 30s.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Knowing Phil, his cuffs are cheap crap that’ll break the second he puts them on someone.

 

[MG 620]

But most of us at 10 didnt poop ourselves Phil does that still mid 30s.

Does he really shit himself? I assumed it was a "smells like shit" joke?

I'll stand corrected, Phil is Phil.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Does he really shit himself? I assumed it was a "smells like shit" joke?

He did.

The most frequently told story revolves around Dusty, a friend from college. Dusty invited him over to hang out because he felt bad that Phil was awkward and frequently bullied. Dusty's kindness was repaid with a lack of respect for boundaries and consent, culminating in grabbing at Dusty's "five dollar foot long". The excitement from touching another man's penis caused him to lose bowel control. There have been other instances, such as only doing laundry in a river when he's messed himself, but none are as memorable as this. (credit to @Weeping With Pity for this one)

 

[Positron]

Tweaker also mentioned another incidence when Phil soiled his pleather skirt, and had to take it off and wash it in seawater. I can't find the story unfortunately.

Knowing he has problems with bowel control, I call bullshit his claim that his "pelvic floor muscles are too taught (sic) / tight".

 

[MG 620]

What is the cause? Too much cheese in the diet?

 

[Dentontx]

Good work corraling today's content, @Positron. Nothing shrivels my sac quicker than Phil claiming kink affiliation. I don't know why, it's like a hotline to my limbic disgust center.

It's not that gross people aren't allowed to have a sexuality. They can do what they want, it doesn't generally bother me. Like pictures of Daphny Dragonkin Drosophilia David all Saran-wrapped and hogtied on a couch are disgusting and sad, but they don't make me want to swear off sex for a year. But the thought of Phil...indulging in this way is like instant, literal retch fuel.

 

[The Dude]

What is the cause? Too much cheese in the diet?

Same reason CWC shits himself: Phil is a fat, lazy mongoloid with a horrible diet. He probably thinks he's just going to fart (oh so feminine) but ends up shooting beef stew all in his pleather edge lord pants.

 

[ON 190]

I have mixed feelings how funny itll be when phil cuffs him self and cant get free and toren is passed out drunk for 16 hours.

Firstly itll be amazingly funny.

Wait, no mixed feelings. Phil playing with cuffs can only end in kiwi victory.

Phil does wish he was a cop due to his power fantasies, why he hates them is just as simple. Phil's a big old dummy who makes his true intentions easy to spot.

Reality phil mentally is 10 at 10 we all wanted to be sheriff but no one else. But most of us at 10 didnt poop ourselves Phil does that still mid 30s.

Gerald’s Game.

Except the dog eats them both.

 

[MasterDisaster]

One: You don't issue citizens arrests.
Two: How are the handcuffs mounted, Phil? Tape? Just hammered into the drywall?
Three: This whole 'Antifa is the law in Portland' shit is pure aut.ism.
Four: Seriously, try to detain someone in public. I want to see the ensuing picture where all your teeth are missing.

 

[RL325]

Citizens arrest means you have to work with the Police, Phil. That makes you a wannabe fash.

 

[The Dude]

Citizens arrest means you have to work with the Police, Phil. That makes you a wannabe fash.

Actually, anyone can issue a citizen's arrest. However, they don't have the right to detain the person they're trying to arrest. The "arrestee" can tell the "arrester" to go fuck themselves and walk away. Only the police have the right to detain someone, and they'd better have a lawful reason to. If the "arrestee" has indeed committed a crime and then left the area after being issued a citizen's arrest, it can mean additional charges against them if/when they are arrested by law enforcement and taken to trial.

What Phil is fapping over is illegal. If he tries to pull this shit (LOL, as if the chicken-shit coward had the guts to try it) he's looking at unlawful arrest and imprisonment at the very least.