FIGGIN [13 Feb 19] Phil gets horny and kinky despite rotting groin - Plans to "citizen arrest" hunks and handcuffs them in his dungeon

[Midlife Sperglord]

So, how long before the cops find the literal skeletons in Phil’s closet? Serial killers are always the people you least expect them to be, though, so that most likely is not the case at all.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

So, how long before the cops find the literal skeletons in Phil’s closet? Serial killers are always the people you least expect them to be, though, so that most likely is not the case at all.

Phil’s more likely to kill himself, by accident, in the stupidest way possible. Probably by handcuffing himself to the radiator, dropping the key and then remembering that Toren moved out last week.

 

[The Dude]

Phil’s more likely to kill himself, by accident, in the stupidest way possible. Probably by handcuffing himself to the radiator, dropping the key and then remembering that Toren moved out last week.

Not to mention Phil doesn't have what it takes to kill anyone. He's all talk and bluster, no action. He's a poseur who want people to think he's some hardcore badass, but reality is that he's soft, cowardly, and spineless. Hell, CWC is more hardcore than Phil. CWC actually cut themselves to "free their vagina" to help their transition. At best, Phil got his manhole while under anesthesia and got painkillers after. More likely, he lied about getting GRS and the closest he's come to CWC's deep taint slice is scratching himself with butter knives to make it look like he was "self-harming and suicidal" for attention and sympathy (and to dupe a few suckers into letting him stay on their couch longer).

 

[Optimus Prime]

Not to mention Phil doesn't have what it takes to kill anyone. He's all talk and bluster, no action. He's a poseur who want people to think he's some hardcore badass, but reality is that he's soft, cowardly, and spineless. Hell, CWC is more hardcore than Phil. CWC actually cut themselves to "free their vagina" to help their transition. At best, Phil got his manhole while under anesthesia and got painkillers after. More likely, he lied about getting GRS and the closest he's come to CWC's deep taint slice is scratching himself with butter knives to make it look like he was "self-harming and suicidal" for attention and sympathy (and to dupe a few suckers into letting him stay on their couch longer).

Phil is the eternal 12 year old edgelord.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Not to mention Phil doesn't have what it takes to kill anyone. He's all talk and bluster, no action. He's a poseur who want people to think he's some hardcore badass, but reality is that he's soft, cowardly, and spineless. Hell, CWC is more hardcore than Phil. CWC actually cut themselves to "free their vagina" to help their transition. At best, Phil got his manhole while under anesthesia and got painkillers after. More likely, he lied about getting GRS and the closest he's come to CWC's deep taint slice is scratching himself with butter knives to make it look like he was "self-harming and suicidal" for attention and sympathy (and to dupe a few suckers into letting him stay on their couch longer).

Plus Chris has actually attacked people. Phil never has, unless he was certain they couldn’t fight back.

 

[Rokko]

So, how long before the cops find the literal skeletons in Phil’s closet? Serial killers are always the people you least expect them to be, though, so that most likely is not the case at all.

A serial killer must be kind of organized and has to leave no leads. Phil is definately to stupid for that (although serial killers are statistically not the geniuses the media calims them to be).

 

[MasterDisaster]

Phil's opponents need to be elderly and wheelchair bound.

How's you mom doing, Phil?

 

[Xarpho]

He did.

Eh, I wouldn’t take that story as true since it was discovered that @WeepingWithPity, after building up Dusty for months, got Dusty on the forum, only for the truth to be revealed that Weeping WAS Dusty all along. To make a long story short, WWP ended up getting laughed out of the forum (he wasn't banned to my knowledge) and all of the WWP stories got called into question as Dusty/WWP had a penchant for exaggeration, this being one of them.

 

[Dentontx]

We need to mark everything questionably sourced in the Phil FAQ as such, then.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Eh, I wouldn’t take that story as true since it was discovered that @WeepingWithPity, after building up Dusty for months, got Dusty on the forum, only for the truth to be revealed that Weeping WAS Dusty all along. To make a long story short, WWP ended up getting laughed out of the forum (he wasn't banned to my knowledge) and all of the WWP stories got called into question as Dusty/WWP had a penchant for exaggeration, this being one of them.

I’m generally suspicious of any story where the teller feels the need to mention that they have a foot-long penis.

 

[ON 190]

I’m generally suspicious of any story where the teller feels the need to mention that they have a foot-long penis.

"So I was walking to the bank, with my foot-long penis swinging, to deposit my paycheck when I saw this really pretty bird and it made my foot-long penis so hard so I wrote it down in my birdwatching journal."

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

Eh, I wouldn’t take that story as true since it was discovered that @WeepingWithPity, after building up Dusty for months, got Dusty on the forum, only for the truth to be revealed that Weeping WAS Dusty all along. To make a long story short, WWP ended up getting laughed out of the forum (he wasn't banned to my knowledge) and all of the WWP stories got called into question as Dusty/WWP had a penchant for exaggeration, this being one of them.

I believe Tweaker the Cat has also confirmed Phil shits himself, or at least he doesn’t wipe.

 

[The Dude]

"So I was walking to the bank, with my foot-long penis swinging, to deposit my paycheck when I saw this really pretty bird and it made my foot-long penis so hard so I wrote it down in my birdwatching journal."

And then gut a dude like a fish...with my foot-long penis.

I believe Tweaker the Cat has also confirmed Phil shits himself, or at least he doesn’t wipe.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there have been more than a couple sources who have confirmed that Phil shits himself and doesn't wipe when he does manage to make it to the throne. Honestly, Phil just looks like the kind of tard who shits himself. He's in poor health, has a terrible diet, and he's lazy. Not to mention he's likely hesitant to use public restrooms because he's terrified someone will misgender him.

 

[Dentontx]

>misgender

Accurately identify him as a castrated but otherwise socially, physically and genetically male individual, in other words.

 

[The Dude]

>misgender

Accurately identify him as a castrated but otherwise socially, physically and genetically male individual, in other words.

Exactly. When people remind Phil he's a boy it breaks his happy delusions of being a hot Latin-ekkks woman. Then he cries.

 

[Mogambo]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there have been more than a couple sources who have confirmed that Phil shits himself and doesn't wipe when he does manage to make it to the throne. Honestly, Phil just looks like the kind of tard who shits himself. He's in poor health, has a terrible diet, and he's lazy. Not to mention he's likely hesitant to use public restrooms because he's terrified someone will misgender him.

I wonder if Phil suffers from lactose intolerance, or maybe just IBS. If so, his shitty diet (no pun intended) would certainly contribute to his incontinence. I mean, the not wiping and terrible hygiene is all on him, but maybe if he ate a healthier, more well balanced diet he'd have fewer pairs of dirty soiled briefs littering his apartment. Still if Toren doesn't notice the aroma of rancid human feces, sweat and week old pizza stinking up his apartment, who are we to say anything?

 

[8777BB5]

Can't believe nobody's posted this.