Surgery [13 Feb 19] Phil needs revision surgery! - "I need help with my vagina"; wants to "relearn" riding the bike.

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Graffiti canvas

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Quick story:

I knew a (mostly) functioning mentally disabled kid growing up in my neighborhood. The kid was with it enough to wander around on his own, but dumb enough to just piss himself and giggle about it with a slightly disturbing, vacant expression. Me and my friends let him tag along with us reluctantly because our moms said we had to. But looking back, some of our most hilarious moments doing the "roving gangs of kids in the 'hood" stuff involved him somehow. I remember once we dared him to eat dog shit and he did.

We thought this was delightfully fun.

In that universal rite of passage all kids from the pre cellphone era had, we all learned to ride bikes together. Even the exceptional kid. We all ate pavement at some point during the remaining years together before whatever life events our parents had broke up our little gang, but the exceptional kid was right there doing jumps n shit with us the whole time.

20 some odd years later, during a visit with my mother, we went to lunch and discovered dumb kid's mom was working as the counter waitress at this particular place. I remember this so well because seeing her 20 years later out of the blue like that and now in her 60's really hit it home for me that my own mother was getting old too.

We chatted about dumb kid and, being older and more understanding, was genuinely curious about how dumb kid had fared in life. One of the facts I learned is he'd recently gotten a bike again. "He'll never drive..." she said. "But he used to love riding bikes with all of you. He was crushed the day his bike was stolen and he's not rode one in probably 15 years. Picked up right where he left off, trying to jump the little curb outside our house."


The point of this story is even a pants pissing, dog shit eating, giggling R-etard didn't have to "re-learn" how to ride a bike after 15 years.
 
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The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
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Here, allow me to translate Tankie Tard into English: "My lie about getting dick inversion surgery didn't get me ass-pats. My lies about joining Antifa and fighting fascists didn't impress anyone. None of my lies are bringing me attention anymore and haven't for years. The videos of me shooting guns like a total badass didn't scare the Kiwis away and they laughed at my posts threatening them. Maybe if I lie about needing more surgery it will finally bring me some attention."

A couple things that have been pointed out, but are worth highlighting:

Ibuprofen isn't used to treat neurological pain. There's a particular class of medication that gets prescribed for nerve pain, but I'm not going to mention what it is because I don't feel like helping Phil with his pathetic lies. Also, 1000mg of Ibuprofen isn't exactly a heroic dose. Prescription strength for Ibuprofen is typically 400mg or 800mg per pill and often prescribed at 1600mg every 12 hours for pain. 1000mg sounds like Isaboy has a bottle of el cheapo store brand Ibuprofen, which is usually 200mg per pill, and figuring that 1000mg will sound like a big dose to let everyone know that he's "in serious pain".

And apparently Phil has never heard the very, very common phrase "It's just like riding a bike" since the rest of that common phrase goes "once you've learned, you never forget". The only way I can see ever having to "re-learn" riding a bike is after some serious injury where you basically have to re-learn everything, including walking. Say, having a leg amputated or a severe back injury that affects leg function. Having your dick pealed like a banana and stuffed inside your crotch to make a fake vagina wouldn't apply.
 

Sinners Sandwich

Eid Htrad Redav Eid !
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-According to a friend who'd know, the best surgeons for this procedure are not in America, they're in Asia, and the people with the cash to make it happen have to go there to have the operation performed by the people who know what they're doing. It's an intensive, multiple week affair that is overseen by physicians trained in the matter.
And even these surgeons can fuck up.
 

Coldgrip

Dragon Kick your ass into the Milky Way.
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Phil said:
...I am simply an outlier for healing slower and all the complications are hitting me in winter with the weather.
Nah, plenty of people are diabetic.
To any Oregon Kiwis, please feel free to reach out to me. April is coming up, and if you give me an address, I'll gladly send you a fifth of Jameson to drink away the knowledge that your goddamn tax dollars are being spent on this farce. I know your income tax is a motherfucker, but I won't force you to be sober knowing that this is what it's going to.
Thank you, but I don't need the alcohol. The knowledge that my money is being used for this just makes me swing my baseball bat harder into the skull of some tranny-antifa loser every time I'm cruising around in my Race War Van.

:tycesuit:
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
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The point of this story is even a pants pissing, dog shit eating, giggling R-etard didn't have to "re-learn" how to ride a bike after 15 years.
Riding a bike is literally the primary example of skills you learn once and never need to learn again.

If Phil had ever known how to ride a bike, he would know this, even though he's too ignorant and exceptional to know anything else, like that it's common knowledge that riding a bike is unforgettable body knowledge you never lose.

Someone like Phil shouldn't lie because he's too stupid to be any good at it.

I don't know about anything of this, but I'm guessing someone here is more knowledgeable, but if he does need a reversion what options do there even exist? I always thought it was a one way trip
He's fucked. There's very little they can do. They could try something like they do for an FtM but it would be a completely nonfunctional dick, and they probably can't even do that because they're starting with a mangled butchery of flesh.

Thanks Dr. Doge, for turning a tiny penis and balls plus a mountain of taxpayer money into a rotting abomination.
 

StoicMoose

Such Strength! Such Courage! In the Name of Allah!
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I feel bad for oregon niggas having their taxes pay for a tard to cut holes into his junk

And the fact that he was keeping it secret because he didnt want to be made fun of, so why the fuck did you start taking about it tard? You could have kept it completely secret, even the "revision" surgery.

And you will NEVER live a normal life, never. After you got a gash cut into your genitals you irrevocably worsened your life in every way imaginable. Especially how you even admit it hasn't helped much at all and has only become a nuisance.
 
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The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
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I feel bad for oregon niggas having their taxes pay for a tard to cut holes into his junk

And the fact that he was keeping it secret because he didnt want to be made fun of, so why the fuck did you start taking about it tard? You could have kept it completely secret, even the "revision" surgery.

And you will NEVER live a normal life, never. After you got a gash cut into your genitals you irrevocably worsened your life in every way imaginable. Especially how you even admit it hasn't helped much at all and has only become a nuisance.
Don't forget that anyone who pays Federal Taxes are having their money wasted on mall ninja weapons, Alibaba airsoft gear, and tard scribble tattoos. I guess it's only fair that in return Phil gives us frequent material to laugh at and ridicule.
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
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Ibuprofen isn't used to treat neurological pain. There's a particular class of medication that gets prescribed for nerve pain, but I'm not going to mention what it is because I don't feel like helping Phil with his pathetic lies. Also, 1000mg of Ibuprofen isn't exactly a heroic dose. Prescription strength for Ibuprofen is typically 400mg or 800mg per pill and often prescribed at 1600mg every 12 hours for pain. 1000mg sounds like Isaboy has a bottle of el cheapo store brand Ibuprofen, which is usually 200mg per pill, and figuring that 1000mg will sound like a big dose to let everyone know that he's "in serious pain".
Toren’s been whining about taking huge amounts of ibuprofen for the back pain he gets, being an old man. I suspect Phil is ripping him off.
 

Bassomatic

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I'm glad kiwi agent dugi 0 sevens mission is coming close to its next step.

Aside phil being so dumb he follows behind torens grift lies (while not getting a dollar unlike vodka goblin has eggy paypig) I'm wondering if he thinks this going wrong story covers up it never happened.

Hes the kinda guy and I do mean guy as in Male who would lie about this get called out make up his dick got put back on and gas light any of the SRS happened.
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
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I don't know about anything of this, but I'm guessing someone here is more knowledgeable, but if he does need a reversion what options do there even exist? I always thought it was a one way trip
Phil's not looking at a reversion/reversal, but rather a revision. That's where a surgeon goes back in to a prior surgical site to repair a problem that is due either to the original surgery not being performed up to par, or that arose due to complications post-op.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
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Phil's not looking at a reversion/reversal, but rather a revision. That's where a surgeon goes back in to a prior surgical site to repair a problem that is due either to the original surgery not being performed up to par, or that arose due to complications post-op.
And you're usually limited to the original quack who fucked it up, because nobody else wants to adopt the liability of doing surgery on someone else's fuckup.
 
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