[13 Nov 18] "Kiwi Farms threatening to arson my apartment" - Asspatting proved too addictive.

[Positron]

Yesterday, having read our reaction towards his paranoia about the neighbor that he has a secret crush for, Phil posted yet another "Kiwi Farms is totally going to get me!!!!!!" message. This message, unexpectedly, netted him an asspatter. So he doubles down.

You never "received intelligence" Phil, otherwise you won't be what you are.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Why would we burn it? The smell would kill everyone in the city.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Does he really think we want to burn down his apartment? Is he really that stupid?

Oh, what am I saying? Of course he is that stupid.

Phil, your life sucks so much that it'd be funnier to let you keep on fucking up like the idiot you are than it would to actually harm you.

You do a pretty good job of fucking up your own life, no need for us Kiwis to get involved. We just like to point and laugh at your idiocy.

 

[Sandwichu]

But Phil, KiwiFarms will send evacuation messages to the rest of the tenants, leaving you and the drunken ogre as the only "victims" of this pretend attack.
Also, flashbangs do not ignite you dumbass, unless the flash reacts with the noxious gases inside your apartment.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I thought the plan was to fly a plane into it. Are we not doing that now?

 

[ON 190]

He’s definitely thinking of white phosphorus, the use of which is a war crime.

In this case I’ll gladly use it and turn myself into The Hague.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Considering the biohazard he lives in fire is the only choice for a cleansing.

 

[ON 190]

Considering the biohazard he lives in fire is the only choice for a cleansing.

Fire and then massive UV-based sterilization.

 

[drtoboggan]

If he ever received intelligence he'd realize his airsoft gun is useless.

 

[MMX]

Kiwi uses flashbang - It's is ineffective
Phil is confused
Phil shits pants and does nothing

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I like the way he uses the passive voice to describe “threats” he’s received from us, as if he has some network of agents and isn’t just a fat little pig sitting on his own, refreshing Kiwi Farms and meowing for attention.

 

[MMX]

I thought the plan was to fly a plane into it. Are we not doing that now?

No the plan is the same as ever
Introduce him to Toren and subject him to a sort of death by a thousand cuts in the form of gaslighting and hurtful truth.
When two troons go to war....

 

[Positron]

No the plan is the same as ever
Introduce him to Toren and subject him to a sort of death by a thousand cuts in the form of gaslighting and hurtful truth.
When two troons go to war....

It is fortunate that he did not simply run off with Greta and foil our plan.

 

[MMX]

It is fortunate that he did not simply run off with Greta and foil our plan.

We know he reads the threads
So right now he's looking at the latest La Zorra pics and thinking the exact same thing....or maybe all that trash on the floor is a turn on and he can't wait plaster a storage container with his doodles

 

[Positron]

Why would we burn it? The smell would kill everyone in the city.

It is Portland so it is okay.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

That darned Kiwi Farms has done it again!!!!!!

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

No, Phil, we aren't going to burn your apartment down.

We don't want to make your neighbor, David, homeless.

Between the fears of eviction and now fears of arson, Phil's stress levels seem to be getting pretty high. I'm expecting the spud to give us a new, entertaining saga, starting up any day now. Homeless saga 2: Now with spanish stink ditch!

 

[Graffiti canvas]

We know he reads the threads
So right now he's looking at the latest La Zorra pics and thinking the exact same thing....or maybe all that trash on the floor is a turn on and he can't wait plaster a storage container with his doodles

I hate to admit it, but Phil's scribbling and maps on the wall of that container would at least elevate it from a garbage dump to an insane person's homeless camp.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

No, Phil, we aren't going to burn your apartment down.

We don't want to make your neighbor, David, homeless.

Between the fears of eviction and now fears of arson, Phil's stress levels seem to be getting pretty high. I'm expecting the spud to give us a new, entertaining saga, starting up any day now. Homeless saga 2: Now with spanish stink ditch!

He doesn’t genuinely believe we’re going to burn his apartment down. He is undoubtedly stressed, hence the fact that he’s trying to get our attention in order to take his mind off whatever’s getting to him in the real world. When his failed life starts to upset him, he retreats into his fantasies where he’s a badass guerilla fighter fighting the world, instead of a dickless waddling tard who’s so pathetic that he got kicked out of his own bedroom.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The only way Phil's apartment would burn down is if Phil did it himself and then blamed it on us.