[13 Nov 18] "Kiwi Farms threatening to arson my apartment" - Asspatting proved too addictive.

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The same could be said of pretty much any lolcow.

From Kengle in Rhode Island to Phil in Oregon, lolcows are mentally ill people who allow their (lack of a) life to revolve around trying to be famous on the internet.
I don't think Phil wants to be internet famous. Phil is more concerned with people taking him seriously as whatever identity du jour he is fronting as, and he wants to be seen as an intimidating badass. Of course, Mr. Isaboy is clown shoes, and no one is going to take him seriously as anything other than a living joke, let alone be intimidated by him.

“Suicide by WP grenade” would likely be a new one for that unfortunate coroner. Saves on cremation costs, at least.
Chloe Sagal beat Isaboy to the self-immolation achievement. So Philthy letting himself out with a lap full of Willy Pete would very much be a "Simpsons did it!" situation for him. Not to mention that Phil is too much of a narcissistic coward to kill himself. And Phil is so obese that I'm doubtful that one WP grenade would be enough to do the job.

And don't you think it's funny how Isaboy wants to be seen as a hardcore badass, yet Chloe Sagal committed suicide by lighting himself on fire and CWC cut open his own taint because he thought he was growing a vagina? They're both more harcore than Phil will ever be. Phil isn't hardcore, he's got a soft, gooey nougat center.
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Phil is more concerned with people taking him seriously as whatever identity du jour he is fronting as, and he wants to be seen as an intimidating badass.
His only hope for that is on the Internet though. Anyone who encounters him in reality soon figures out he's a repulsive, filthy, smelly dumbass and ditches him.
 

ToroidalBoat

Token Hispanic Friend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Anyone who encounters him in reality soon figures out he's a repulsive, filthy, smelly dumbass and ditches him.
But of course he never sees that -- to him the reason is always the fault of those dang dirty Kiwi Farms MRA MAGA GamerGate Alt Right Transmisogynist Basement Dwellers®.
 

Xanax

Viva la constipacion!
kiwifarms.net
Phil isn't hardcore, he's got a soft, gooey nougat center.
Nah, a gooey nougat center sounds desirable. There's nothing Phil-related that anyone sane wants to get anywhere near, unless you count microbiologists looking to discover new diseases growing between his toes.

Even the most dedicated of Kiwi psyop stalkers would probably keep their distance just to avoid getting trapped in his stink-cloud.
 

Bassomatic

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
We already burned down your dick Phil. Your apartment is the only thing left to burn that you care about.
If he cared about his apartment he wouldn't have let Toren take it from him.

He's scared of toren, he's got no bridges left to burn one single call to the local PD toren is GONE, Phil can tell the truth as he's a victim and let the troons fight over who to support, hell with Phil's amount of friends he's got nothing to lose literally but lots to gain.

But he cares so little he lost his apartment to a drunk faggot who abuses him.

The only way we could hurt him is if we lasered off his retarded tats.
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
He's scared of toren, he's got no bridges left to burn one single call to the local PD toren is GONE, Phil can tell the truth as he's a victim and let the troons fight over who to support, hell with Phil's amount of friends he's got nothing to lose literally but lots to gain.
Maybe the landlord could if he had no idea Toren is even there, but if Phil has let him stay there all this time he probably has tenant's rights now against Phil and Phil can't just throw him out.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Phil's more retarded than usual; if I (and mostly any other kiwis), if we really wanted to waste time fucking with him in a negative way; it'd be to cut his electricals and break any wi-fi or ethernet connections he might have access to in the apartment. His chimpout would be legendary due to how desperate he is to use the internet to avoid reflecting on his miserable life and far more of a ruination than fire.

But then, Pigboy is really desperate to be a victim rather than the awful and monstrous tard who drags down society.
 

Coldgrip

Not Cody.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Phil's more exceptional than usual; if I (and mostly any other kiwis), if we really wanted to waste time fucking with him in a negative way; it'd be to cut his electricals and break any wi-fi or ethernet connections he might have access to in the apartment. His chimpout would be legendary due to how desperate he is to use the internet to avoid reflecting on his miserable life and far more of a ruination than fire.

But then, Pigboy is really desperate to be a victim rather than the awful and monstrous tard who drags down society.
I'd personally go more the break in and take his bike route. Which would just be me walking in, picking up his bike, and walking out while Phil sits in a corner squeaking and shitting himself in fear.

Then I'd donate it to the Salvation Army, because it'd make some kid happy to get it for christmas.
 

obliviousbeard

As white as schoolshooter
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'd personally go more the break in and take his bike route. Which would just be me walking in, picking up his bike, and walking out while Phil sits in a corner squeaking and shitting himself in fear.

Then I'd donate it to the Salvation Army, because it'd make some kid happy to get it for christmas.
Commence screencap-including post for fishing asspats in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
 

Alex Krycek

All my friends are Skeletons
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Even if I lived in Oregon I wouldn't burn your apartment down. However I might tell locals about you to spread the legend of the Autistic Australatinx.

By word of mouth it would spread until the entire West Coast knew the grand name of Philip Haskins-Delici.
 

Tragi-Chan

A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Actually, we’ve been poisoning Vikki and telling our police contact that Phil voiced the urge to kill. The poison causes vomiting, so I suppose Phil could foil us by kicking the door in and tackling Vikki to the ground when he hears the sound of vomiting, but he’s too dumb to do anything like that ha ha.
 
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