FIGGIN 14 Oct 19 - Phil bought a set of "body armor" - Declares Portland a Warzone


Subconsciously Suberogatory
True & Honest Fan
Keys, check.
Wallet, check.
Phone, check.
Fingerless combat gloves, check.
Pepper spray, check.
Military combat knife, check.
26" collapsible baton, check.
18 lb. Level IIIA plate carrier under my black wardrobe, check.

All this bullshit for leaving the house every time now, especially the body armor. Me, earlier tonight getting veggie pizza and taking a little extra time dipping down the side streets to get to my destination.

Portland OR is now increasingly a war zone for Antifaschistische Aktion vs. Fascists
[End Text]



It's remarkably easy to yank his keys from him; good thing that he has a force-field of stench for protection and doesn't have anything worth stealing.


I almost want to tell him that body armor is no use when a van slams into him like they did to his hero-of-the-week, but I reckon he never leaves his home anyway.
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The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
Phil is like a little kid who walking home late plays the 'boogieman' game with himself, every shadow is a potential monster, eeek!! even though he's walking through the suburbs to his suburban house and the shadows are thrown by hi-vis streetlights.

I wonder if he truely HAS convinced himself that Portland OR, one of the safest cities in the U.S. is actually a warzone that he can't leave the Potato Patch and buy a fuckin pizza in safety without cheap Chinese body armor, cheap Chinese mall ninja weapons, and cheap Bangladeshi black clothes and masks?

Nope, it's all the boogieman (or kidnappers, or aliens...or fascists!) game to him, and he continues his childish larp on the web, embarassing himself and his family for life.

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
Oh wow, an airsoft plate carrier with either plastic or foam panels inserted to look like it's got armor in it. I'm so not impressed. I guess Phil isn't friends with the guy who owns guns anymore since Phil isn't trying to pass off that SCCY like owns it again. Phil just gets more pathetic, more desperate, and more boring.

For those not up on body armor/guns, IIIA is what most police used to wear/wear and it will stop most pistol rounds. It will not stop any rifles rounds, particularly those from an AR. Even if he was fighting NATSEES in a warzone, and even if those were in fact IIIA plates and not an airsoft carrier with foam/cardboard "plates", the vast majority of rounds fired at him in this hypothetical made up situation would zip right through that.


Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
How cute! Mommy’s little soldier!

I can’t get over how divorced from reality Phil is. If Portland really was this insane warzone where fat men are constantly being gunned down in the street, he wouldn’t be able to get his non-vegan pizza. The guys at the pizza place must roll their eyes as he comes in for his twice daily Cheese Feast (with extra cheese) acting like he’s Bravo Two Zero.

We’ve seen protest footage. It’s just two sets of special needs adults yelling at each other.

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