FIGGIN [16 Sept 19] Phil is now a "cervine furry" - Deer me!

[MY 405]

remember his camping trip and he had the picture with the tree branches as horns? that's where I'm guessing this idea started

its funny because traditionally antlers are a symbol of a cuckold

I've somehow missed this spectacular photo. Also, deer shed their antlers every year, (unlike sheep, goats, antelope and cattle who do not shed their horns) So he picked a species where their ultra male status symbol drops off every season ... They are also invasive, nuisance browsers that destroy vegetation. So well done, Phil! He'll never be a Monarch, I guarantee that!

 

[Nazbol Furry]

I would not have sex with Phil's fursona.

 

[The Dude]

Oh, thank god! This means Phil Season will be opening soon. If you're a bow hunter you can start a week early! Don't forget to phill out your tags for Phish and Game!

Honestly, they should do away with having a yearly season for the Philthy Deer where you have to buy a license and just put the species on the varmint/nuisance species list like coyotes where you can hunt them any time of the year without a permit. Just pack up your favorite rifle, get in your truck, and head on out Philthy Deer hunting whenever you want. I mean, it's not like it's a trophy animal because they look so ugly mounted on your wall. And they aren't a food animal because of all the diseases they carry. And they ruin any area they migrate into, often displacing the species that naturally live in the area by eating all the available food and polluting the ecosystem. They could even do a bounty system like some areas do with coyotes, where hunters get paid for thinning out Philthy Deer numbers.

 

[Cedric_Eff]

What’s next on the list? Phil becomes a zoophile?

 

[Alex Krycek]

What’s next on the list? Phil becomes a zoophile?

He might identify as one but remember he’s not sexual at all and beat the fuck out of a woman who wanted to have a child with him and the last documented sexual act he requested at all was refused by a fat pansexual tranny with bad hygiene. Phil’s main sexual partners will forever be his ball gag and his dildo.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

What’s next on the list? Phil becomes a zoophile?

Well, everyone else is either too scary and/or gross (Toren) or wouldn't give Phil the time of day. Also, if he (as is highly likely) faked the dick chop, he has to worry about any sexual partner ratting him out, and animals can't do that. What animal Phil would fuck is another question; he's probably afraid of dogs like many other autists, horses are too expensive to keep and would make him feel laughably inadequate to boot, he certainly isn't going to get a chance to fuck a deer, he probably can't even swim so he'd drown if he tried to fuck a dolphin, and sheep would be highly conspicuous in Portland and surrounding environs. If Phil is going to fuck an animal, it's probably going to be a cat. But as already been said, he's probably not genuinely horny enough to fuck anything at all.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

He might identify as one but remember he’s not sexual at all and beat the fuck out of a woman who wanted to have a child with him and the last documented sexual act he requested at all was refused by a fat pansexual tranny with bad hygiene. Phil’s main sexual partners will forever be his ball gag and his dildo.

I may have said this before elsewhere, but it’s my theory that Phil is asexual in the same way that a child is asexual. He likes the idea of sex because it’s grown up and naughty, but he just doesn’t have the emotional and developmental maturity to enjoy it. I seriously think the main reason he had/pretended to have his knob chopped off was so he’d never have to have sex ever again.

 

[The Dude]

I may have said this before elsewhere, but it’s my theory that Phil is asexual in the same way that a child is asexual. He likes the idea of sex because it’s grown up and naughty, but he just doesn’t have the emotional and developmental maturity to enjoy it. I seriously think the main reason he had/pretended to have his knob chopped off was so he’d never have to have sex ever again.

And yet one more reason CWC is better than Phil: Chris has actually had sex a couple times and was developmentally mature enough to enjoy it, whereas Phil is still mentally too childish. And Chris is someone who believes cartoons are real and our reality will merge with their reality.

 

[Syaoran Li]

And yet one more reason CWC is better than Phil: Chris has actually had sex a couple times and was developmentally mature enough to enjoy it, whereas Phil is still mentally too childish. And Chris is someone who believes cartoons are real and our reality will merge with their reality.

IIRC, the one time Phil was confirmed to actually have sex with someone was with that older woman who was extremely desperate to have a baby. As I recall, Phil hated the experience once it happened and he violently refused to go for any repeat sessions when she didn't get pregnant.

I think he may have also done some stuff with Tweaker many years ago, but I don't know if it was actual sex, BDSM stuff, or just fooling around.

Otherwise, you're pretty much spot on with this one. Chris may have had to pay someone to get laid, but he was able to actually enjoy it. Phil got it for free despite being more odious than Chris, and he still didn't like it.

I always find it amusing that Phil still has a hardcore hate-on for Chris and Chris hasn't acknowledged his existence at all since Jack Thaddeus and I doubt he even knows who Phil is anymore.

Even Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto eventually moved on with his life and Michael J. Hirtes actually got acknowledged and promptly owned by Chris on Twitter. Phil can't manage to do either one of those things.

Getting back on topic, Phil probably got into the furry stuff since furry fandom is very popular among SJW types and the whole "cervine furry" thing is just Phil trying his best to fit in without actually having to do anything. He probably won't go on FurAffinity or get involved in any online furry communities given his aversion to sex, let alone go to an actual con even if he could afford to go to one.

Like everything else in Phil's life for the past decade or so, this new furry identity is nothing more than a LARP.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

IIRC, the one time Phil was confirmed to actually have sex with someone was with that older woman who was extremely desperate to have a baby. As I recall, Phil hated the experience once it happened and he violently refused to go for any repeat sessions when she didn't get pregnant.

I think he may have also done some stuff with Tweaker many years ago, but I don't know if it was actual sex, BDSM stuff, or just fooling around.

I hate that I know this, but with Tweaker it basically consisted of her dildoing his ass. For some reason, autists are really into butt stuff.

EDIT: Google was no help at all.

 

[Positron]

Does anyone know how common furries are among Antifaggots?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Does anyone know how common furries are among Antifaggots?

There's some antifurs out there who hate the Nazi furries and the alt-furries.

 

[Mogambo]

Notable furry porn website e621.net uses cervine as a species tag on deer-related pictures. That's probably where he picked it up.

I'm a little horrified that I actually known what e621 is... but yeah that sounds about right.

I may have said this before elsewhere, but it’s my theory that Phil is asexual in the same way that a child is asexual. He likes the idea of sex because it’s grown up and naughty, but he just doesn’t have the emotional and developmental maturity to enjoy it.

I completely agree. Sex is all about imagery for him, about appearing to be adult and mature without really knowing what it entails. He adopted the LGBTQ+ stuff to fit in and because he thought an anime character was "kawaii," he adopted the BDS&M gear because he thought he was shocking people... most of his identity politics crap goes back to some sort of fetish or another.

To be fair, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he probably does have some sort of sexuality, although fairly vanilla. I think his infatuation with Jennifer Lopez came at a time when he was entering into adulthood; for most people it would have been a normal "celebrity crush." You'd probably fantasize about the person and move on. Phil had his first glimmering of sexual identity towards the end of high school, long after most of us would have, but he's mentally delayed so that's probably par for the course. Instead of rubbing one out, he got his wires crossed and decided "she's hot, therefore I'll dress like her and that will make me feel sexy." In fact I believe that was the dominant school of thought on how paraphelias developed though it's been a long time since I read about anything related to psychology so its probably long been debunked.

Cartoon porn, like the sort furries are into, is probably a "safe" outlet for Phil though. Theres a reason so many autists and weirdos are drawn to it, as anyone who follows lolcows can attest. Its colorful, the characters can he easily identified, and of course it doesn't require interacting with any other human beings or icky bodily fluids.

I hate that I know this, but with Tweaker it basically consisted of her dildoing his ass.

I was vaguely aware of this. No disrespect to Tweaker, but I've always suspected his relationship with her was kind of fetish fulfillment on Phil's part. He got the social status amongst his SJW peers of being in a "trans" relationship while still being with a woman and thus essentially "straight." Of course that relationship was also abusive on his part, so I'm kind of amazed his SJW idiots never called him out on it.

Does anyone know how common furries are among Antifaggots?

I think it's more that SJWs kind of emerged from the furries and "otherkin" of the previous generation. Now its less popular to claim you have a "dragon spirit" trapped in your body, but much more socially acceptable to talk about "multiple systems" and how "problematic" certain fandoms are, even as you write weird slash fan fiction about them.

I'd argue the internet is getting worse. At least back in the day furries, otherkin and alternative religions were mostly harmless and often quite amusing. Now we have a massive blob (both literally and metaphorically) that will harass you for drawing a character's skin tone too light or don't include a morbidly obese African-American tranny in a wheelchair in your medieval French setting. Just like how identity politics ruined Phil's life and made Chris boring, it's also made the internet a lot more homogeneous and uninteresting. After you've seen your 100th "we wuz kangz" post or rant about some example of homophobia that never actually happened you just get bored with them.

 

[Mogambo]

You know what's funny is that Phil is trying to be "edgy" by being a furry, but... he chose an animal known for its antlers. which in art and literature are often used as a sign of virility and masculinity. Of course in real life male reindeer shed their antlers after mating season, and females have smaller antlers year round, but still symbolically antlers and horns have long been associated with male potency, something Phil should know since he pretended to be a Wiccan for like a week before forgetting about it.

And where do reindeer live? In the Arctic circle. In fact the term 'reindeer' is most often used to describe the varieties found in Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, whereas caribou is more often used to describe North American varieties. And what do we know about countries like Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia? They're all white colonizers of course! In addition, reindeer are strongly associated with Santa Claus and Christmas time, which is a Christian holiday. And of course Norway, Sweden and Finland are Lutheran, and Russia is mostly Orthodox, so they're pretty Christian too.

This tells me that Phil is subconsciously sending signals that he is a white Christian male, and probably straight too. We should probably go back over his pics and see if he's secretly been making white supremacist gestures like the OK sign! Someone might need to warn the Portland Antifa High Council that there's a white supremacist trying to infiltrate their ranks!

 

[Digital Thunder]

You know what's funny is that Phil is trying to be "edgy" by being a furry, but... he chose an animal known for its antlers. which in art and literature are often used as a sign of virility and masculinity. Of course in real life male reindeer shed their antlers after mating season, and females have smaller antlers year round, but still symbolically antlers and horns have long been associated with male potency, something Phil should know since he pretended to be a Wiccan for like a week before forgetting about it.

And where do reindeer live? In the Arctic circle. In fact the term 'reindeer' is most often used to describe the varieties found in Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, whereas caribou is more often used to describe North American varieties. And what do we know about countries like Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia? They're all white colonizers of course! In addition, reindeer are strongly associated with Santa Claus and Christmas time, which is a Christian holiday. And of course Norway, Sweden and Finland are Lutheran, and Russia is mostly Orthodox, so they're pretty Christian too.

This tells me that Phil is subconsciously sending signals that he is a white Christian male, and probably straight too. We should probably go back over his pics and see if he's secretly been making white supremacist gestures like the OK sign! Someone might need to warn the Portland Antifa High Council that there's a white supremacist trying to infiltrate their ranks!

Galaxy-braining aside, it's also funny that Phil's trying to be edgy by being a furry because Cervidae (or their desirable anatomical parts, at least) are among the most overused species types in the furdom, and this is without addressing that every third person online is some variety of furfag at this point in history. He's, what, a decade and a half late to furries being remotely subversive online? Talk about being pedestrian.

 

[AnOminous]

You know what's funny is that Phil is trying to be "edgy" by being a furry, but... he chose an animal known for its antlers. which in art and literature are often used as a sign of virility and masculinity.

You know what else horns are associated with? Cuckoldry.

 

[dirtydeanna96]

I'd argue the internet is getting worse. At least back in the day furries, otherkin and alternative religions were mostly harmless and often quite amusing.

Marshall Applewhite would disagree with you about "Mostly Harmless", Mister Ford Prefect.

Do, or Jesus, or Elijah, as he called himself.. brought a lot of his old members back with his website in 1996\1997, and two new members, one of whom killed herself.