Today I got hammered drunk, freebased some coke, drove drunk to my best friend's grandma's funeral, climbed on the coffin and shit right in her fucking mouth. Then I furiously jacked off while blasting Lizzo from my Iphone. The jizz also went in gamgam's mouth. I know she's dead but she kind of looked like she liked it.
My best friend is in hospital from the shock of it and his wife said we're not friends anymore and she'll fucking kill off my entire bloodline.
Am I the asshole? I did have low blood sugar today