1st post: overheard on bus - Eacesdropping just happens man.

[OpiumAsshole]

9.03.18
10.35pm, 2 guys who have just met on this bus
" That's the way u gotta live life. Enjoy it. Enjoy the people in it. Enjoy the small moments. That's the truth. You never know when the good times will end so you might as well make the most of them when they actually happen. It's something I've learned when I travelled around France"

28.03.18
9.18 am, angry guy talking on his phone
"Don't give him information. Don't tell him anything. Say whatever it'll take to avoid telling him anything. No one needs to know anything unless they need to know it.

Was that our agreement?

But you've proactively and intentionally done something I didn't want you to do

Everything from this point onwards is your problem. You can deal with these people it's not my problem" hangs up.


If you have any similar conversations you've overheard (doesn't necessarily have to be on public transport) or if you have any ideas as to the circumstances in which these conversations might have taken place, please leave it here)

OpiumAsshole xoxo

 

[ES 148]

I sat next to three chavs and they were having this long discussion about how they'd probably end up worse off if they won the lottery and their reasoning was quite solid and self aware
They never mentioned getting jobs though

 

[RG 448]

I was drinking at this bar once when a priest, a rabbi, and a monk walked in together. They strolled up next to my stool to order, and the bartender said, “What is this, a joke?”

 

[IV 445]

Tfw I thought you were talking about the desert bus for a moment

 

[HomeAloneTwo]

A mother and son on the over packed tram full of anti-gun protesters, "Oh, I don't know if this is right train to the rally. Should we get off and get on another letter? (Blah blah blah for 8 stations stops)" As they wear the exact same outfits as the rest of the rally attenders.

Spoiler

they got off the tram way too early

edit- now re-reading it later makes it seem like I was destined for an anti-gun rally. I was surrounded by these idiots on my way to a hockey game right across the street.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Two ghetto dudes at a FYE, and one of them was trying to awkwardly explain the plot of Assassination Classroom to the other

 

[Billy_Sama]

I came from Subway where a white trash inbred customer asked the worker if his brother came because he closeline him on his motor scooter and broke it. He spent his time inn the ordering line callomg someone to have a standoff against his brother. Its was like the buildup to an episode of Cops.

 

[Unsuspecting Koala Bear]

*somebody of color talking about how they dont give a fuck about something that happened to them*

 

[Coconut Gun]

I was like 8 and on a bus and an Asian lady with too much make-up fell asleep on my shoulder. Probably why I have yellow fever now.

 

[mate]

I was on a bus once (about ten years ago) and overheard two girls talking.

Girl 1: 'so... what was it like with steven last night?'
Girl 2: starts crying
Girl 1: 'What? What did he do?!'
Girl 2: 'He did it from behind...'
Girl 1: 'and?'
Girl 2: 'When he finished he pulled it out... and he...' fucking snort-crying now 'he slapped my arse and said "that'll do pig, that'll do."'

Hull, before anyone asks. And yes its true.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

"YOU FUCKING CUNT"- random guy yelling before going to get pizza.
"I suck dick"- random homeless guy said to me in Los Angeles. Don't know why he was saying it to me since I lack the D.

This one time I got woken up because my neighbor's baby daddy was screaming in their backyard because his ex wasn't letting him take their kid out to church that day. His banging and screaming at the back door is what woke me up.

I overheard these same neighbors chatting in their backyard at 3 FUCKING AM about period sex because they're a bunch of rude cunts who love to talk loudly in the middle of the night.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Once overheard a conversation of two high-school chavs talking about how stupid their respective schools are and how stupid everyone at school is and how stupid every teacher is... and so on.
Sometime during this absolutely amazing method in reducing brain cells just by listening, that one guy went "Yeah, wanna know how stupid my school is? We're not even allowed to use the fire extinguishers, like what the fuck? Like what are they even good for if we aren't allowed to use them? It's so fucking dumb, we're only allowed to use them in case of a fire."

---

Another time, I sat in the train when I noticed a bit of a foul smell, followed soon by a sudden gasp and sort of half-stiffled shriek from a group of female students. These 3 girls were sitting together with some random middle aged woman who had really greasy, tangled hair, and her clothes looked sort of grimey.
The students got up and while racing past me, I heard one of the girls sobbing "-thought she just farted, oh god oh go-" while the stench drifted through the train car.

When I got out of the train, I saw that middle aged woman on the platform, yelling "CRAP CASH CRAP CASH!" over and over again.

Thank god I am not a public transportation pleb anymore and own a car. It cut down on encountering weirdos and overhearing mind blowingly stupid conversations a lot.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

This whole thread just reminds me of this.

 

[whatever I feel like]

I got to listen to a wife verbally berating her husband and his inability to properly book flights at the airport once. A defining memory of vacations for me!

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I have to mention one from my childhood:
Me and my brother as kids were playing with this boy who my parents knew because the family were also Christians. At one point when we were at their house I guess the boy was making too much noise. I don't remember if we were around this kid at the time but I remember only one thing. The dad got mad and he threatened his son loud enough for my mom and stepdad, myself and my brother to hear.
The dad screamed something about how he'd chop off his son's penis if he didn't shut up. The crazy thing is he yelled this knowing we'd all hear. It was so uncomfortable.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Oh man, I just remembered an old classic that happened like 10 years ago, when black people were much less common than they are now.

While I was standing at a station platform, a mother with her very young son were standing closeby.
2 Black guys appeared, talking in their native language and the small child just looked at them with wide eyes and complete amazement all over his face. After a few minutes, he tugs on his mother's skirt, looks at her and goes "Look, they got teeth like humans!"