Plus insults Pristine Christine because he's jealous of her boogie. 
Surgery 2/19/2016 - DEF CON TATERS! Phil's Love Spuds In Critical Danger! -
- Thread starter Flame the Sunbird
- Start date
Translation: Phil shit himself extra hard today.
We missed you Phil!
Lol, Phil still has his balls, and always will.
He added one more comment about CWC and then shut his profile down again. 
Lez be honest, he's just salty that Christine won't do any pickle play with him.
Lez be honest, he's just salty that Christine won't do any pickle play with him.
Here's a guide to the defense readiness condition levels (DEFCON) of Australatina. It's a lot like the USA's, but it differs in several important ways. I hope everyone finds it helpful in CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATIONS like these.
DEFCON 5: FADE OUT - Lowest state of readiness. Minimal hygiene.
DEFCON 4: DOUBLE TAKE - Increased asspatter watch and strengthened security measures (deactivation of Facebook when not logged in). Above normal filthiness.
DEFCON 3: ROUND HOUSE - Increase in falsehood delivery readiness above normal levels. Tears ready to be deployed within 15 minutes.
DEFCON 2: FAST PACE - Next step to suicide baiting. False rape allegations ready to deploy within six hours.
DEFCON 1: COCKED PISTOL - Superficial self-harm imminent. Maximum loneliness.
DEFCON 5: FADE OUT - Lowest state of readiness. Minimal hygiene.
DEFCON 4: DOUBLE TAKE - Increased asspatter watch and strengthened security measures (deactivation of Facebook when not logged in). Above normal filthiness.
DEFCON 3: ROUND HOUSE - Increase in falsehood delivery readiness above normal levels. Tears ready to be deployed within 15 minutes.
DEFCON 2: FAST PACE - Next step to suicide baiting. False rape allegations ready to deploy within six hours.
DEFCON 1: COCKED PISTOL - Superficial self-harm imminent. Maximum loneliness.
Phil is the only person I know of who announces his (claimed) weight with street signs and (claimed) upcoming surgeries with DEFCON statuses.
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I really must get round to writing some Phil fanfiction involving a forced orchieoctomy.
Blue balls, according to his update.
a kiwi doctor has been kind enough to infiltrate the hospital and gave him these instructions:
PRE SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS:
KILL YOURSELF
PRE SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS:
KILL YOURSELF
If this really happens, the fallout will be epic, three months from now, Phill will claim that kiwifarms brainwashed him into getting his balls removed. After the Freudian fiasco, Phil will then hold his surgeon hostage and force him to reattach his spoiled taters, which were delicately preserved in alcahol. You hear that, kiwifarms wins either way. This site made him become a daranged eunuch with rabbit teeth, the Autism came naturally.
Phil honey, compared to you Chris is a human masterpiece.He added one more comment about CWC and then shut his profile down again.
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Lez be honest, he's just salty that Christine won't do any pickle play with him.
Too many burgers might be bad for you, but too much cheese and you end up like this:
We could make a thread that keeps track of every date Phil says his surgery will be on. Like that weight "loss" thread.
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Stole $4000+ from charity at his short-lived convention. Spent months failing to re-brand and sneak back into the fandom. Long history of abusive dating behavior. Currently impersonating and harassing a far more likable furry.
Gout, Bankruptcy and Vitriol. Sounds good?
Severely paranoid thin-skinned attention whore with hate/real boner for Ralph, Null, Jim, BSV, etc. "Right kind of gay" and "verified female". Legally banned from KF, 13 socks and counting
