[2 Sep 19] Phil Begs for Housewarming Gifts - Too fucking lazy to move shit so he thrown them all away

[Misaki Nakahara]

OK I read up on this Phil and gotta say. If you told me that this was indeed DSP on some type of antifa trans ebegging kick, I would believe you.

Not the first time that has happened on this subforum. Welcome to the true depths of autism.

We're going on another 12-hour camp-out monitoring Phil soon, we've just had the orders from the boys upstairs to get more intel on his Antifa connections before the big attack. If you're anywhere near Portland you're welcome to join us, just bring your night vision goggles and any other surveillance equipment you may have on hand.

 

[Coldgrip]

Not the first time that has happened on this subforum. Welcome to the true depths of autism.

We're going on another 12-hour camp-out monitoring Phil soon, we've just had the orders from the boys upstairs to get more intel on his Antifa connections before the big attack. If you're anywhere near Portland you're welcome to join us, just bring your night vision goggles and any other surveillance equipment you may have on hand.

Should we bring our Ku Klux Kiwi robes or are we saving those for the event we have coming up in a few days?

 

[Alex Krycek]

They also won't do jack shit to keep the apartment warm. Also, "lanterns" - I hope to fuck he means something that one plugs in and not something one fills with fuel oil before one's tard ass falls asleep and burns one's home down.

Come on now... he isn’t asking for a coffee maker (yet).

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Come on now... he isn’t asking for a coffee maker (yet).

Just wait until all the shit clutters up and then you send him a coffee maker.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Just wait until all the shit clutters up and then you send him a coffee maker.

Does he even drink coffee? He strikes me as a soda-only guy.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Does he even drink coffee? He strikes me as a soda-only guy.

I dunno, as long as it makes sparks, anything is good.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Just learned about this - have we figured out where the potato farm is now?

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Just learned about this - have we figured out where the potato farm is now?

Check the Approved Operatives sub section. Detailed info on our strike plans for Portland and El Primero are listed. I think you're on the main home invasion detail.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Check the Approved Operatives sub section. Detailed info on our strike plans for Portland and El Primero are listed. I think you're on the main home invasion detail.

Excellent.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I was going to buy him all this stuff, but then I thought, why would a badass super soldier need all this stuff? I don’t want him getting soft and unable to defend us against the fash. So I decided to spend the money on a shitload of beer instead.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Yes Phil I have procured all the things you have asked for please share address so they can be delivered.

 

[JY's Tampon]

Yes Phil I have procured all the things you have asked for please share address so they can be delivered.

Me too! I have all these blankets and rugs that I was going to donate to my local shelter but why when I could help a struggling trans femme Antifa Supersoldier. I'll even send some of this year's ginger root crop.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Just wait until all the shit clutters up and then you send him a coffee maker.

Christ, if Phil had a housefire he'd have enough ammunition for his "the alt-right is targeting me!" conspiracies for the rest of his life.

Phil should join some kind of modern military LARPing party, if such a thing exists. He'd be great at it because he never breaks character. He could play the guy they put on the frontlines to absorb some of the bullets, and he loves spending his money so he'd probably get the pizza and beers in afterwards.

 

[The Final Troondown]

My working theory is this is all shit slingblade pawned for gutrot before he left and spudboy has only just noticed

I believe Phil had some kind of case worker or SpEd advocate who helped Phil get into the Antardfa Barracks Mk 1, but he doesn't have a full time case worker unfortunately. He really does need a payee or some other state appointed adult to manage his finances for him. Phil is not intelligent enough, nor mature enough to have financial autonomy.



Why is that sad? I think its hilarious that Phil has alienated everyone due to his selfishness, lies, and attention whoring to the point that no one is willing to show him "financial solidarity".



I don't think he gets that much each month for his TardBux. Phil only gets about $950. That's one of the reasons he's so jealous of CWC, because CWC gets more tard welfare than Phil. Also, CWC passes as a woman better, and people actually like CWC.

He also hates CWC because phil is terrified of the system inspite of his anarchist longings whilst the teflon tard commits crimes seemingly at will, which the system dares not jail him for

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Good news! I ran a computer simulation and it turns out he doesn’t need blankets, he can just pull his wattle down over himself. Artist’s impression:

 

[MediocreMilt]

It's like a kid who's made a pillow fort in the middle of your sitting room demanding you trash your house and bring stupid stuff for their magic make believe castle or in Phil's case Sooper Dooper Antifa Barracks.

You're a goddamn poet. This captures the vibe perfectly.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

The great irony here is that for the past few weeks, he’s been desperately trying to get us to pay attention to him with his macho posturing, but because he’s so boring it’s never merited more than a post in Random Updates. Now he gets a new thread because he can’t figure out how to not spend all his money on useless crap.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Good news! I ran a computer simulation and it turns out he doesn’t need blankets, he can just pull his wattle down over himself. Artist’s impression:
View attachment 922036

Toren is already hiding under his wattle, there isn't room for two. The reason he's eating so much delivery pizza lately is to try and make some room before the winter.

 

[MG 620]

Should we bring our Ku Klux Kiwi robes or are we saving those for the event we have coming up in a few days?

Please don't, save the robes for later. Or else it would ruin the shock value.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Please don't, save the robes for later. Or else it would ruin the shock value.

I know I said I'd have my robes drycleaned last week at the meeting, but I got caught up in monitoring the bug feeds from spudcave 2.0 and forgot.