[2 Sep 19] Phil Begs for Housewarming Gifts - Too fucking lazy to move shit so he thrown them all away

Xochi

Tranarchist communatrix
kiwifarms.net
If only Kiwis had a way to funnel the money spent on antifa merchandise in order to fund the next tendie cookout with the field agents.
:thinking:
Phil would still be broke as a joke from getting even shittier-quality virtue signaling gear and we could call it Operation PrimeRib.
Did you not get the briefing? Many of Phil's favourite places to spend money have been spoofed by Kiwi operatives. We see a good 80% of Phil's SSDI cheques from the various online stores he uses. Once we inform them of our work they're quite obliging in passing any and all money spent by Phil directly to Kiwi Farms to fund our various projects.

In fact, even the money from the Domino's Pizza he orders goes straight into Null's wallet, courtesy of one of the higher-ups in a regional office of Domino's who happens to be a Proud Boy.
 

wes

kiwifarms.net
There's an IKEA in Portland, and they specialize in cheap furniture for tiny living spaces. But I don't know if the Portland IKEAs runneth over with dang dirty foreigners like the ones in New York, so that might be a deterrent for Phil.

I love that Phil specifically references his apartment as "Japan small," like closet living arrangements originate in Glorious Nippon. Glad that he's still in touch with his weeb roots.

I feel sorry for his new apartment. All I can think of is his previous spud cave getting consecutive rounds of bug bombing and fumigation. Even the most cruel of slum lords wouldn't inflict that on anyone. Thoughts and prayers for any future tennants.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
There's an IKEA in Portland, and they specialize in cheap furniture for tiny living spaces. But I don't know if the Portland IKEAs runneth over with dang dirty foreigners like the ones in New York, so that might be a deterrent for Phil.

I love that Phil specifically references his apartment as "Japan small," like closet living arrangements originate in Glorious Nippon. Glad that he's still in touch with his weeb roots.

I feel sorry for his new apartment. All I can think of is his previous spud cave getting consecutive rounds of bug bombing and fumigation. Even the most cruel of slum lords wouldn't inflict that on anyone. Thoughts and prayers for any future tennants.
I know IKEA includes instructions and all the tools and hardware required to assemble their furniture right there in the box, but do you honestly think Phil has the intelligence to put their stuff together? If you do, you're giving him far too much credit.
 

Coldgrip

Dragon Kick your ass into the Milky Way.
kiwifarms.net
I know IKEA includes instructions and all the tools and hardware required to assemble their furniture right there in the box, but do you honestly think Phil has the intelligence to put their stuff together? If you do, you're giving him far too much credit.
I can see hm putting something together, but then it collapses into a pile of garbage and he begs for a new whatever he ordered.

He's the type of idiot that winds up with way too many leftover parts.
 

UselessRubberKeyboard

Mergin' n' spergin'
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I know IKEA includes instructions and all the tools and hardware required to assemble their furniture right there in the box, but do you honestly think Phil has the intelligence to put their stuff together? If you do, you're giving him far too much credit.
For all Phil's bluster about being a super tough anarchist soldier with a room full of weaponry or whatever, I bet the fat idiot doesn't own a screwdriver, hammer, or basic tools. Even if he did, I doubt he could use them in any useful manner.

This anarchist buys all his stuff ready-made.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Housewarming gifts are the very definition of a bourgeoisie indulgence, Phil.
Yep. Housewarming gifts are an example of the decadent excess inherent with Capitalist systems. Because people who work in a Capitalist society typically get to keep most of what they make, they can afford to buy extra stuff to gift to their friends and family when they get a new home. In a Communist utopia, the state gives you everything you need without any unnecessary extras, like flat screen televisions or laptop computers or airsoft rifles. You don't need useless shit like that to live. Just the essentials in the Worker's Paradise of Communism.

For all Phil's bluster about being a super tough anarchist soldier with a room full of weaponry or whatever, I bet the fat idiot doesn't own a screwdriver, hammer, or basic tools. Even if he did, I doubt he could use them in any useful manner.

This anarchist buys all his stuff ready-made.
Oh, I'm sure Phil has a hammer somewhere. But it isn't a tool. It's some mall ninja bullshit like a replica of Mjolnir or some anime shit that will break if it ever got used or dropped.

All Philp HAS is autism.

And no balls.

While Phil has no balls, he does still have his gonads intact. And his baby dick.
 
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