Nah, he's not banned. His account was temporarily banned after Heather joined the forums and he came back asking us to ignore everything in the past (basically what he's doing now, too). He hasn't logged in during the past two months, though.
.....I......I.......what.Final Closure
Hold on to your feathers, friends and foes, because I imagine they will be getting ruffled. Bear in mind, knowing that I know myself completely and absolutely without a sliver of a doubt, I offer you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I'll put my hand on whatever holy book you want as I say this. For everybody new and old alike, I am positive you would like to know what all the fuss is about and how I have successfully lured all the bullies out of the woodwork so they would not bother more important people. I have been dancing around this because I was afraid this would fundamentally ruin common perception of me, but after talking to Mom and concluding I did nothing wrong, I am going to do what I usually do: jump in with both feet, feet first into Hell, fighting in the name of Heaven. And this "news" is almost a year old, yet I've been going through painstaking efforts to put this to rest and prove once and for all that I am a good and genuinely clean human being. So, here goes:
- by The-Golden-Knight, 1 minute, 40s ago
- Journals / Personal
I tickled the belly of some girl who demanded me to.
That doesn't sound so bad, does it? I talked extensively about this with Mom, and bear in mind, Mom was there. She witnessed this event firsthand with her own eyes. So did half a dozen other grown men as well as the almighty itself (because the almighty is everywhere). Mom knows me almost as well as I know myself, and she will vouch for me when I say I did nothing wrong. This has instilled within me a new confidence.
So, instead of apologizing for anything, I am going to own this fact! I am going to debunk and bonk all the common comments I have received in style of FAQ!
"This was a little girl."
Age has nothing to do with it. It would've been just as good and well if the person were 28 or 80. Same goes for gender. Wouldn't it be fun if a college fraternity got in one big tickle-fight? Better yet, mix them all in; kids and adults, boys and girls, one massive tickle free-for-all! That would be weird but awesome!
"So you're admitting you like kids?"
I like kids, but not like THAT! What do you think I am, some kind of monster? #ObviousTaunt
"You touched her."
She touched me first (And I don't hear anyone complaining that *I* was violated; try that on for size: little girl violates grown man). I think when a person tackles your leg unprovoked, that's a way of saying, "Play with me." So there was touching, big whoop!
"You violated her."
That is incorrect. As I said, the person demanded me to join in. I even resisted initially.
"You had to reach."
Not really. A belly is barely covered, and that's OK.
"Didn't you do more?"
Just tickle some feet; all these same points apply.
"Don't you 'get off' on that?"
Not in this circumstance, no.
"It was a creeper basement."
Also incorrect; it was well-lit, well-furnished, and most importantly, well-populated. I said before, I have multiple witnesses who can attest to what I am saying, including my very own parents. So, unless you were actually there physically present, you know nothing and you have no right to speak!
"Even if this wasn't monstrous, it was not socially right."
Part of me wants to grant you this point, but I think any parent or sitter can understand that "kids will be kids, and kids like to roll around on the floor while playing physically." It's odd seeing a grown man playing with kids or a grown man who also likes playing physically, sure, but no harm was done.
"But you said - "
Don't go cherry-picking what I said, omitting other parts that clearly explain I am clean. Also, too much information/detail was present because I was excited to have played. And if some other girl (or boy, or woman, or man) demanded me to tickle her (or him), I would not hesitate. I have learned one lesson: never talk about personal business in public space. I'm only bringing this up now to get the pests to shut up as it's already public.
"I'm calling Straw-man or British Aunt-Sally!"
I have never intended to use such a ploy. I am speaking from my heart and soul, and here I aim to tackle all questions head-on in typical Golden Knight nerves-of-steel fashion.
"You don't expect me to buy this bull!"
Of course I do! All you have to go off of is my word. Take it or don't. And if you don't, I will enjoy watching you burn in Hell!
"I am going to spread this around and use it to make you look bad!"
And you think *I* am the bad person? All I did was tickle someone who demanded me to. You are attempting to make a good person look evil. Don't you have anything better to do?
"You are an evil person trying to look good."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I still think you're a monster."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I am going to dog-pile you with nasty remarks about how you shouldn't ever tickle others no matter what!"
Noted. You will be filed for harassment. Have a nice day. *Block!*
In conclusion, I am a healthy and good-natured yet childish young man who will someday make for one awesome Dad. Now that I have closed this topic of discussion for the nth time, I will not be hearing any more about it! I will enact zero tolerance. If you talk about this any more, I will say, "You are an idiot," and I will block you.Now that all this has been aired, I will refocus on my comic books, my job search, and my Twitch performances. As I said, I refuse to be remembered as "that guy who got mistaken for a monster," as I aim to be remembered as, "that guy who puts on an awesome show that everybody loves!" For real, this time:
The Past is OVER!
For those of you who have made it through this controversial nightmare, I have a treat for you.This vision hatched in my mind, about a video game to homage The Golden Knight! I remember there was one for The Angry Video Game Nerd, and I remember Angry Joe said he got featured, and one or two other personalities earned Hero status in XCOM: Enemy Unknown, so I thought this would be awesome. I've already jotted down a slew of ideas based on my public online experiences, and the "gameplay" will feel like Turok: Dinosaur Hunter with the first-person-shooter elements from back then. If I could get this into development, it would be amazing!
So let me get this straight. When a 5 year old child demands that you do something it's only logical that you do so?
No. It doesn't. When Jay's 5 year old child, assuming he actually gets to breed at some point in time, "demands" that he does something like let her have chocolate cake for dinner it's therefore okay?
Giving in to your child's every whim is a one way ticket to producing -GASP- someone like Jay. It's a terrible cycle.
Which is why I'm never having kids, lol. I can babysit but I would be a shit mom.
I remember she used to work for the company that Jay was briefly employed at fixing computers.
YOU A-- YOU ARE AN I-IDIOT. BLAWKED.
Now that I reread the journal (sort of) it's really fucking appearent playing with those kids was a turn on. When I was pretending to be Lisa he told me he wanted me to struggle and he liked sadism and feet and the wording he uses in this journal is very similar to how he worded these things to me. It goes without saying the fact that he blames the little girl is disgusting. He's obviously got pedophillic tendencies, whether he admits it to is as well as himself is a different story. He basically admits he likes underage girls but won't use the word "pedophile" because somewhere deep down he knows he's in the wrong. (Sorry if anything is wrong, typing on my iphone)
- Something amazing happened, and I wanted to get to my computer as fast as possible to write it down!
- I had to shut out as many distractions as possible to retain as many of the juicy details as I could
- Please do *NOT* take me out of context.
- I've shown that my inner child is still alive and kicking, and that I'd make an excellent dad in 30 years when I'm ready for kids.
- and 5 little girls
- I absolutely *love* physical contact, and these kids were at the right age where they're all cute and cuddly, especially this one in particular who was very plump.
- I knew it wouldn't be appropriate to just jump in with them, so I stayed quiet and while keeping to myself, I couldn't help but watch.
- Eventually one of them ... came up to me and started talking a bit.
- with my inner child growing restless
- compound the temptation for me to jump right in, a lot of them were barefoot, too!
- this girl decides to gently spank me. In my mind, that opened up physical contact.
- So I tickle her in the ribs, she giggles and squirms and all that, and after a few minutes of this sort of back-and-forth with "icebreaking" as well, the next thing I know these 5 girls are tightening around me doing their darndest to stir up some kind of negative reaction
- all 6 of us are having a ball wrestling and tickling and I'm just beaming from these girls giggling and squirming and contantly coming back because they genuinely had fun
- I was tickling at their bellies, armpits, and even a bit of the feet too
- I also remember Mom coming around to get them off of me so I could get back to playing pinball, and that worked out really well: when it was my turn, Mom would get between me and the others so I could play, but when Mom's turn came around, I was able to go back to having fun
- But it doesn't end there, because after a little while the kids and I were all rolling around, wrapping and wrestling and having a blast but then many of these mid-aged guests were just standing around watching all of this unfold
- I got up and went to Mom, dragging these couple of girls as I pushed with all my muscles to get to Mom who lead me away to a quiet area
- "Child Molester"
- Officer, I swear, we were playing, no genitals were grabbed, everyone was having fun, and I kept my pants on!
- Now to be fair I tried to reach under the chubby girl's shirt to try to reach her belly since direct skin-to-skin contact is far more sensitive than trying to penetrate through clothing
- I was having the time of my life from the all-too-rare treat of physical contact play!
- Like I said, I rushed quickly as I could to jot this all down if nothing else because it was so impacting to me personally I wanted it in some sort of written form.
- since I'm no longer able to sustain myself on pure excitement
Someone going by "PowerPuffGreg" has taken an interesting tack. He's dropped a long, detailed salvo of fact-bombs on Jay, deconstructing the "inner child" nonsense and urging Jay to act like an adult. Jay's response? Effectively "lalalalala not listening I'll block you if you say any more".
PowerPuffGreg 37 minutes ago New member
Dear Jay,
First of all I want to thank you for opening up dialogue with your public response to the controversy regarding the contents of a journal entry posted on your DeviantArt page last year. I value the sincerity of your opinions and the willingness to address serious accusations and your ability to admit that your past actions were inappropriate. It is important that we as humanity are always open to criticism and willing to accept changing any of our opinions based on deeper reflection or reasoned arguments.
However, although I respect your willingness to learn from your mistakes and move on (which demonstrates a level of introspection), I disagree with a number of points you previously discussed in your journal entry "Final Closure" . As I have taken the time to carefully read and write a response to this journal entry, I politely request that you read my response and consider in some form the opinions I have expressed in this response.
Firstly, I respectfully disagree with your chosen decision to dismiss any more conversation about the issue. Whilst I understand that you are willing to accept your mistakes and move on in your life, I am of the opinion that we should continue to be open minded about any of the opinions or beliefs that we hold to be true, including beliefs we have developed through making significant mistakes. As John Locke observed in An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, our molecular structure is changing at such a rate that in 7 years time the molecular structure of our bodies will be completely different to the molecular structure of our bodies now. I am of the belief that our opinions function in a similar way; through constant change and restructuring, our opinions will be completely different and far more structured in 7 years time as they are now. If we forbid ourselves to challenge any of our previously held conceptions, we forbid our ability to grow. If you are truly willing to arrive at a purely rational, mature opinion I hope you will consider continuing to accept further criticism and discussion.
Secondly, I am concerned about the tone of the piece given the severity of the subject matter. The first sentence of your journal is a succinct example of my disagreement with the tone the piece is written:
"Hold on to your feathers, friends and foes, because I imagine they will be getting ruffled."
The idiom "ruffle feathers" is defined by The Free Dictionary as "[to figuratively] irritate or annoy someone". Given that the journal's subject matter is related to accusations of inappropriate sexual conduct with children, it is difficult not to infer that you perceive childhood sexual abuse as nothing more than an irritation or an annoyance. It is in fact an extremely serious issue that deeply affects those affected, to the case where research has found a strong link between those who are victims of abuse involving touching and suicide (if you wish to research this more, then I suggest reading The relationship between child maltreatment, sexual abuse and subsequent suicide attempts written by Fiona Colquhoun, which is freely available on the website of the charity NSPCC). If you are truly willing to identify the significance of your previous actions, I ask that when next writing about the subject you address it in an empathetic, respectful way as opposed to the informal and flippant style present within your journal.
Now I wish to address the details of the event which you have shared publicly. I understand that this is still a very sensitive subject for you, so I will try to address you as fairly and reasonably as I can. However please bear in mind that this does not mean that I necessarily agree with your view of events.
Firstly, I wish to contend your belief that age is irrelevant in this circumstance. Unlike adults, children are critically unaware of the events which are unfolding upon them. They have no base of reference to make decisions from, they are establishing the foundations which will influence their adult years. In this sense whilst an action may not appear morally ambiguous on the surface, in this case your lack of sexual intention did not make this a sexual act, is unfortunately not true.
Jonice Webb who wrote the book Running on Empty (which is a fantastic book, even if the contents are not explicitly relevant to you) defined a concept which he titled Emotional Neglect. Her theory is the absence of something in childhood can be just as damaging as direct abuse, leading to confusion and an inability to correctly regulate emotions in adulthood. There are many ways that emotional neglect can come about, most ways are by good, loving people completely unaware of the implications of their actions. The reason why this is relevant is that by tickling a child which you were not directly responsible for, you failed to meet the emotional needs of that child.
Children aren't always right. In fact, they are mostly wrong due to their lack of life experience. This means that they are unable to correctly identify what is good and bad for them ;for example a child would not think twice about eating nothing but sugared confectionery, despite it's lack of nutritional value which eaten frequently enough will become detrimental to the child's health. The role of a responsible adult is to identify a child's emotion, explain it and give guidance for progress.
In this specific situation, there is no softer way of me saying that you neglected the child's emotional needs. By tickling the child, it is very possible the child has now learnt that she will be rewarded when she offers her body to others to touch for their pleasure. Whilst the child may not show any signs with that being a problem now, in 20 years time the story may be very different. She may find it uncomfortable to have any sexual relationships due to the association with touch and disrespecting personal boundaries. She may find it difficult to trust people with the assumption they will take advantage of her, yet she feel's guilty as she has no painful memory to associate that emotion with. By touching her for your personal enjoyment, regardless if the intent was sexual, you taught the lesson that it is okay to offer your body for someone else's pleasure.
That is unacceptable. As an adult, a more appropriate response would be to either encourage play with other children of a similar age, not become a child yourself. Children want adults to be stable, mature and set boundaries. One of those boundaries is not to invade personal space. You neglected the child's emotional need for adults to behave differently to themselves, thus leaving a possible void they may not understand until it causes significant trauma and damage. Therefore whilst in your journal you say "no harm was done", whilst it is not surface damage, actually yes. Damage was done, on a much more subtle level.
However my biggest grievance is this section of your journal:
"You touched her."
She touched me first (And I don't hear anyone complaining that *I* was violated; try that on for size: little girl violates grown man). I think when a person tackles your leg unprovoked, that's a way of saying, "Play with me." So there was touching, big whoop!
Firstly it is not possible to say that you were violated because you made a conscious decision to participate. As an adult, you are aware and able to comprehend the concept of consent; a child does not. Therefore it is not logically possible to say that you were violated given that you have expressed in no way any distress or lack of consent in the engagement of the child. Secondly, you have again failed to recognise or validate the emotions of the child. As I explained previously, a child's lack of knowledge to base their decisions on means that every action they take it essentially a question on how to respond to situations. Your action was telling the child how to behave by accepting your touching. Rather than questioning, identifying and assessing how she felt or taking into consideration aspects of the question she wouldn't consider (why it is inappropriate for adults to engage in behaviour similar to children), you are telling her how to feel. You are saying she shouldn't feel bad about you touching her, but she should feel bad for touching you. What message is that sending a child? Seems contradictory, right? This is why behaviour such as this is so damaging and why people are still sending responses to your actions.
I wish to conclude that if you wish to accept a change of your behaviour, that you are willing to take these points into account and research into childhood development. I do not expect you to agree with everything that I say, however what I do ask of you is to accept that this is my opinion and that my opinion is in every sense valid.
Thank you for taking the time to read and think about the points I have raised. I am hopeful you will take into account this post and use this knowledge to better yourself as a person.
One love.
Reply
The-Golden-Knight 12 minutes ago Professional Filmographer
I understand and appreciate your constructive feedback, which is unexpected given the subject matter. I have sworn many times that I am done talking about it, but since you seem nice, I'll just warn you: no more, or I'll have to block you. I hope you understand, this is a very sensitive topic that I have closed for the nth time and want nothing to do with.
that it hurts.
