Kiwi Farms
Final Closure
I tickled the belly of some girl who demanded me to.
That doesn't sound so bad, does it? I talked extensively about this with Mom, and bear in mind, Mom was there. She witnessed this event firsthand with her own eyes. So did half a dozen other grown men as well as the almighty itself (because the almighty is everywhere). Mom knows me almost as well as I know myself, and she will vouch for me when I say I did nothing wrong. This has instilled within me a new confidence.
So, instead of apologizing for anything, I am going to own this fact! I am going to debunk and bonk all the common comments I have received in style of FAQ!
"This was a little girl."
Age has nothing to do with it. It would've been just as good and well if the person were 28 or 80. Same goes for gender. Wouldn't it be fun if a college fraternity got in one big tickle-fight? Better yet, mix them all in; kids and adults, boys and girls, one massive tickle free-for-all! That would be weird but awesome!
"So you're admitting you like kids?"
I like kids, but not like THAT! What do you think I am, some kind of monster? #ObviousTaunt
"You touched her."
She touched me first (And I don't hear anyone complaining that *I* was violated; try that on for size: little girl violates grown man). I think when a person tackles your leg unprovoked, that's a way of saying, "Play with me." So there was touching, big whoop!
"You violated her."
That is incorrect. As I said, the person demanded me to join in. I even resisted initially.
"You had to reach."
Not really. A belly is barely covered, and that's OK.
"Didn't you do more?"
Just tickle some feet; all these same points apply.
"Don't you 'get off' on that?"
Not in this circumstance, no.
"It was a creeper basement."
Also incorrect; it was well-lit, well-furnished, and most importantly, well-populated. I said before, I have multiple witnesses who can attest to what I am saying, including my very own parents. So, unless you were actually there physically present, you know nothing and you have no right to speak!
"Even if this wasn't monstrous, it was not socially right."
Part of me wants to grant you this point, but I think any parent or sitter can understand that "kids will be kids, and kids like to roll around on the floor while playing physically." It's odd seeing a grown man playing with kids or a grown man who also likes playing physically, sure, but no harm was done.
"But you said - "
Don't go cherry-picking what I said, omitting other parts that clearly explain I am clean. Also, too much information/detail was present because I was excited to have played. And if some other girl (or boy, or woman, or man) demanded me to tickle her (or him), I would not hesitate. I have learned one lesson: never talk about personal business in public space. I'm only bringing this up now to get the pests to shut up as it's already public.
"I'm calling Straw-man or British Aunt-Sally!"
I have never intended to use such a ploy. I am speaking from my heart and soul, and here I aim to tackle all questions head-on in typical Golden Knight nerves-of-steel fashion.
"You don't expect me to buy this bull!"
Of course I do! All you have to go off of is my word. Take it or don't. And if you don't, I will enjoy watching you burn in Hell!
"I am going to spread this around and use it to make you look bad!"
And you think *I* am the bad person? All I did was tickle someone who demanded me to. You are attempting to make a good person look evil. Don't you have anything better to do?
"You are an evil person trying to look good."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I still think you're a monster."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I am going to dog-pile you with nasty remarks about how you shouldn't ever tickle others no matter what!"
Noted. You will be filed for harassment. Have a nice day. *Block!*
In conclusion, I am a healthy and good-natured yet childish young man who will someday make for one awesome Dad. Now that I have closed this topic of discussion for the nth time, I will not be hearing any more about it! I will enact zero tolerance. If you talk about this any more, I will say, "You are an idiot," and I will block you.
Now that all this has been aired, I will refocus on my comic books, my job search, and my Twitch performances. As I said, I refuse to be remembered as "that guy who got mistaken for a monster," as I aim to be remembered as, "that guy who puts on an awesome show that everybody loves!" For real, this time:
The Past is OVER!
For those of you who have made it through this controversial nightmare, I have a treat for you.
This vision hatched in my mind, about a video game to homage The Golden Knight! I remember there was one for The Angry Video Game Nerd, and I remember Angry Joe said he got featured, and one or two other personalities earned Hero status in XCOM: Enemy Unknown, so I thought this would be awesome. I've already jotted down a slew of ideas based on my public online experiences, and the "gameplay" will feel like Turok: Dinosaur Hunter with the first-person-shooter elements from back then. If I could get this into development, it would be amazing!
- by The-Golden-Knight, 1 minute, 40s ago
- Journals / Personal
I tickled the belly of some girl who demanded me to.
That doesn't sound so bad, does it? I talked extensively about this with Mom, and bear in mind, Mom was there. She witnessed this event firsthand with her own eyes. So did half a dozen other grown men as well as the almighty itself (because the almighty is everywhere). Mom knows me almost as well as I know myself, and she will vouch for me when I say I did nothing wrong. This has instilled within me a new confidence.
So, instead of apologizing for anything, I am going to own this fact! I am going to debunk and bonk all the common comments I have received in style of FAQ!
"This was a little girl."
Age has nothing to do with it. It would've been just as good and well if the person were 28 or 80. Same goes for gender. Wouldn't it be fun if a college fraternity got in one big tickle-fight? Better yet, mix them all in; kids and adults, boys and girls, one massive tickle free-for-all! That would be weird but awesome!
"So you're admitting you like kids?"
I like kids, but not like THAT! What do you think I am, some kind of monster? #ObviousTaunt
"You touched her."
She touched me first (And I don't hear anyone complaining that *I* was violated; try that on for size: little girl violates grown man). I think when a person tackles your leg unprovoked, that's a way of saying, "Play with me." So there was touching, big whoop!
"You violated her."
That is incorrect. As I said, the person demanded me to join in. I even resisted initially.
"You had to reach."
Not really. A belly is barely covered, and that's OK.
"Didn't you do more?"
Just tickle some feet; all these same points apply.
"Don't you 'get off' on that?"
Not in this circumstance, no.
"It was a creeper basement."
Also incorrect; it was well-lit, well-furnished, and most importantly, well-populated. I said before, I have multiple witnesses who can attest to what I am saying, including my very own parents. So, unless you were actually there physically present, you know nothing and you have no right to speak!
"Even if this wasn't monstrous, it was not socially right."
Part of me wants to grant you this point, but I think any parent or sitter can understand that "kids will be kids, and kids like to roll around on the floor while playing physically." It's odd seeing a grown man playing with kids or a grown man who also likes playing physically, sure, but no harm was done.
"But you said - "
Don't go cherry-picking what I said, omitting other parts that clearly explain I am clean. Also, too much information/detail was present because I was excited to have played. And if some other girl (or boy, or woman, or man) demanded me to tickle her (or him), I would not hesitate. I have learned one lesson: never talk about personal business in public space. I'm only bringing this up now to get the pests to shut up as it's already public.
"I'm calling Straw-man or British Aunt-Sally!"
I have never intended to use such a ploy. I am speaking from my heart and soul, and here I aim to tackle all questions head-on in typical Golden Knight nerves-of-steel fashion.
"You don't expect me to buy this bull!"
Of course I do! All you have to go off of is my word. Take it or don't. And if you don't, I will enjoy watching you burn in Hell!
"I am going to spread this around and use it to make you look bad!"
And you think *I* am the bad person? All I did was tickle someone who demanded me to. You are attempting to make a good person look evil. Don't you have anything better to do?
"You are an evil person trying to look good."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I still think you're a monster."
You are an idiot. *Block!*
"I am going to dog-pile you with nasty remarks about how you shouldn't ever tickle others no matter what!"
Noted. You will be filed for harassment. Have a nice day. *Block!*
In conclusion, I am a healthy and good-natured yet childish young man who will someday make for one awesome Dad. Now that I have closed this topic of discussion for the nth time, I will not be hearing any more about it! I will enact zero tolerance. If you talk about this any more, I will say, "You are an idiot," and I will block you.
Now that all this has been aired, I will refocus on my comic books, my job search, and my Twitch performances. As I said, I refuse to be remembered as "that guy who got mistaken for a monster," as I aim to be remembered as, "that guy who puts on an awesome show that everybody loves!" For real, this time:The Past is OVER!
For those of you who have made it through this controversial nightmare, I have a treat for you.
This vision hatched in my mind, about a video game to homage The Golden Knight! I remember there was one for The Angry Video Game Nerd, and I remember Angry Joe said he got featured, and one or two other personalities earned Hero status in XCOM: Enemy Unknown, so I thought this would be awesome. I've already jotted down a slew of ideas based on my public online experiences, and the "gameplay" will feel like Turok: Dinosaur Hunter with the first-person-shooter elements from back then. If I could get this into development, it would be amazing!