Here's what he said when I watched for about 5 seconds:
"K now it says to pick up Otto at Kamp Krusty. Wait a minute where's Kamp Krusty? It's not clear on the map. Oh there it is, at Kamp Krusty."
Stream chat facepalms and/or laughs, Phil gets out of the car and collects coins. It's about as exciting as reading the previous two sentences.
"Game's cheating", "wonky physics", bad driver, dead silence, blames game, nothing he could do, repeats one-liners, goat laughs about random stuff, is totally not a clown (yes he is), nose stuff. This shit is massively boring, I think the Simpsons characters spoke more than he has. Each time he opens his mouth it's like an elephant vomits in a china shop.
I stated this in the general thread but I'll reiterate, this is gonna be a rage quit if he reached later in the game. It won't be bad in early game cause if you fail a mission consecutively if let's you skip it. Not so with the last few missions which are a race with a fragile object that will explode if you hit ANYTHING and it's from one side of the map to another. And since Phil can't drive for shit in any game, prepare for the tard cum.
I hope someone exploits some of the moments when Phil gets joyful about money. Oh no, not real money. But game money, coins, the pixels in the game.
Phil always gets super excited when he finds huge amounts of cash, like "Money Money Money" and "Oh yeah the money, I need them". You can almost hear the undertone, hey I talk about money, here's the money meme, time to give me real life money, now let's drive this car where money falls out because this is meee, reee.
I also found it quite funny as Phil followed a trace of single coins, fell down and went up again to collect these few last shekels.
Quite symbolic if you ask me.
If my computer would be good enough I would make a video with snippets of his FAR too long prestream where he - of course - pumps himself up as a "Pro Gamer" and what not, and then zoom in on each occasion of the game where he fails due to his own mistakes and blames the game. Also some longer sections where he says absolutely nothing. His races against Homer are filled with this.
My favorite was as Phil and Homer drove on a ramp, Phil was behind him, Phil bumps into HIM, he lost the direction, didn't made the jump and claims (paraphrased): "Ohmagad he made me fail the jump". He also blames Homer on other occassions when you could clearly see Phil was about to crash in the next blockade, but Homer was near him so OF COURSE, he pushed him into that, nothing he could do. Waah Waaah. What a baby, whines each time something is inconvenient.
Oh yeah, someone asked him in prestream why he streams today. He said: "Because I love games". Made Tevin's chat laugh really hard. This and the "pro gamer" meme came up each time he failed hard or when you could clearly see he hadn't any fun at all. The TIHYDP basically wrote itself.
It really seems to me like he's trying to milk the fuck out of this game timewise. Almost invariably every time he's doing a time-trial or a race he is in some kind of truck that has the worst acceleration, speed, and handling. Then he will outloud state how crappy the car is for what he is doing, while retrying the race up to half-a-dozen times before he will switch to a good vehicle for the race. It's one of those things where I want to give him the benefit of doubt and think, 'He can't be this exceptional, this must be on purpose to drag the game out,' but then I try to think of a single other thing that doesn't point to him being legitimately mentally disabled and am at a loss.
Edit: Okay, I just watched him drive into oncoming traffic and just hold the acceleration multiple times instead of reversing and driving around the wreck while chimping out about the game fucking him over and failing the mission because the car he's following got away. Also driving full speed directly into walls. He's just actually is that mentally disabled.
After half-a-dozen fails he started blaming it on "The GTA RNG formula'. Oh, yeah, that darn RNG of you driving on the wrong side of the road and getting into full-speed head-on collisions with oncoming traffic and then chimping out about it. Sure Dave.
Edit2: This cracked me the fuck up, Dave using his noodle arms to demonstrate a wet noodle. I'm fucking crying