2019 Cow Death/Suicide Pool! -

Who will die first?

  • Total voters
  • Poll closed .

wrangled tard

Types in full sentences, for some reason.
Seems like a lot of cows are starting to drop so I might aswell make some predictions. I can't have all the fun though, you all should vote too! I'm sure I missed a few obvious ones so remind me and I'll add them. Try guessing how they die too, best guess gets internet cool points!

Edit: Added the Slatons, the vampire and the vegan, thanks @MistressCaridad and @LongtimeLurker for the suggestions!
I ran out of slots for the poll so I might cull the ones without votes if there are any more suggestions.
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ScamL Likely

Barb seems like the safest bet because she's a geriatric blob who lives in squalor with Chris but then Mumkey might audition for The Little Mermaid before that catches up with her.


This is pleasure!
I can't vote for Barb that's the obvious choice.

Mumkey, at his core, is a self-absorbed cunt. He's never going to kill himself.

MovieBlob is going to live to a ripe old age. This will happen because the universe does have a sense of humor and Blob watching his superior future never materialize will be hell. He'll hit 65 and lose a ton of weight and just be a skeleton with a massive skull and endless loose skin.

Chantal is...whatever. She'll go soon enough.

I have to go AL. She is starting to try to do things and go places but not stopping any of the negatives that put her at over 600lbs(let's be real). I predict a fall, infection, and death.

Yaniv is in the Mumkey boat. He wouldn't kill himself and no one in Canada will kill the pedo.

Tooter will keep on tootin'. Though he does eat garbage...hmmm...


Your health is low, do you have food or potions?
Boogie's fucking up every other day and burying himself in avoidable situations that just keep piling on the stress. That coupled with regressing into old eating habits and chugging the 'dew makes me think he'll just fall over ded - and without anyone to inform the internet, we'll only notice when he hasn't done something stupid for another week.


Olympic gold medalist in mental gymnastics
Mumkey is already doing badly and if Assburger goes after him he might be pushed over the edge.

Then there's the fact that the pedo-furry situation isn't finished and might come back to haunt him.


Send feet pics, socks optional
I went Mumkey but I think it will be murder/murder suicide. That chick he's gotten with and Assburger both seem pretty unstable, wouldn't shock me to hear one of them killed him

Dick Pooman

Muchacho Sauce
True & Honest Fan
Kay's dumb son was just diagnosed with sleep apnea, so he may be a dark horse.

Gordon Cole

Yep, he's dead
True & Honest Fan
Deathfats like AL, unhealthy old people like Barb and Tooter, and genetic fuckups like the Hartley goblin have the greatest chance of dying early.

Mumkey is 50/50 suicide at this point, though I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls a Spoony and stops making videos just to sperg into the void.

Moviebob is most likely going to live a long, albeit miserable life, and'll look like a wrinkly egg as an old man. This also applies to Jake Alley, Boogie, etc.

PL 001

Barb, she was old, senile and decrepit when the world itself was still young. How much longer can she possibly last?

Amberlynn for my next pick. Gorl will drop dead of a heart attack or stroke. She'll never improve herself, you don't get to be over 600+ pounds by happenstance. That's some dedicated levels of lazy, worthlessness.