2020 Lolcow Death Pool -

Which Lolcow will die next?

  • Barb

    Votes: 126 31.5%
  • Tommy Tooter

    Votes: 19 4.8%
  • ADF

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • DSP

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • Amberlynn

    Votes: 54 13.5%
  • One of the Zoosadists

    Votes: 43 10.8%
  • The Slaton Sisters

    Votes: 18 4.5%
  • Boogie

    Votes: 33 8.3%
  • MovieBob

    Votes: 6 1.5%
  • ContraPoints

    Votes: 15 3.8%
  • Zoe Quinn

    Votes: 3 0.8%
  • Yaniv

    Votes: 7 1.8%
  • Chris

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • Onision

    Votes: 15 3.8%
  • Pixyteri

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sargon's Hopes and Dreams

    Votes: 55 13.8%

  • Total voters

Syaoran Li

Link the Twink
True & Honest Fan
No Spoony? Without the girlfriend who is going to stop him from offing himself?
Forgot about Spoony, I knew I was forgetting someone. I think he'll probably off himself at some point in the 2020's but he's also a coward and a bit of a narcissist at times, so he might also survive the decade. Honestly, I'd give Spoony a 50/50 chance either way.

Where's out favorite alcoholic methhead Dana Please?
To be honest, I don't really know much about her.

Pickle Inspector

True & Honest Fan
Going to put my money on Barb. I think Chris is going to take it much better than expected, and he'll probably claim she's already in CWCville if not he tries unsuccessfully to revive her himself using his goddess powers before calling paramedics.
Barb’s death is one thing but the aftermath of living completely alone with a looming house foreclosure is another added layer of things for Chris to deal with.

I think it’ll work itself out eventually though with Chris moving to a rent controlled scheme for special needs people like ADF did or something like that and the loneliness might spur on Lovequest 2.0.

Mariposa Electrique

In 2021, Shit will hit the fan 4 Chris
True & Honest Fan
I hope it's Barb. That hag lived long enough to see her son turn into a laughingstock on the Internet. Lord knows what goes on in that house.

If she makes it through 2020, she has no soul.
I think he turned her into a laughing stock. Barb will eventually kick it, but the bigger mystery will be cause of death

Chris forgets to feed her
She falls down the stairs
Violent tribbing
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: PurpleSquirrel

Queen Of The Harpies

I drink and talk profanely
My predications:
Lung cancer will get Tommy.
Barb will die of old age and the cats and Chris will resort to eating her corpse
AmberLynn Reid will die of a heart attack or from being smothered by her own fat
Onision will kill himself.
Lowtax will either suicide, OD or die from alcohol poisoning.
Luna Slaten will die from a OD or blood poisoning.
  • Optimistic
Reactions: glossdrop


Don't you got better things than reading this?
Barb’s death is one thing but the aftermath of living completely alone with a looming house foreclosure is another added layer of things for Chris to deal with.

I think it’ll work itself out eventually though with Chris moving to a rent controlled scheme for special needs people like ADF did or something like that and the loneliness might spur on Lovequest 2.0.
3 Options
Section 8 Housing
Special Needs Housing
A troll/fan takes him in


I have no mouth and I have only more to scream
DSP even broke and homeless would take a year or two to do it. Yaniv is married to being evil and needs to stay alive to torment innocent people. I'm betting Hamberlyn croaks, it's easily too late to clean up the act. Also, Lowtax won't die, his stupid forum won't let him die on himself.


Don't you got better things than reading this?
As soon as Jacob's micropeen hits Chris's sour poopchute he's going to be consumed by sentient dookie.
Then the CPU goddess awakens and we're wiped out by the dimensional merge.

I'm still waiting on the Lovecraftian horror fan fiction that Magichan is actually Eldritch abomination using Chris as a gateway into our reality.
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True & Honest Fan
There's a certain lich queen that I don't think will make it through the decade but I'm not going to utter her name, for doing so will ensure she does make it through.

Barb and Tooter won't see January 1st 2030.

Onision is too much of a narcissist to kill himself, so he's not gonna do that regardless of whether or not he gets incarcerated for his antics. He's also not gonna turn the swamp shack into Waco 2.0 and fight the authorities.

Zoe Quinn is also too much of a narc to kill herself, though a fake suicide attempt for attention is guaranteed.

There will be many tranny suicides, as is to be expected with that demographic. In fact I think you'll see a spike towards the end of the 20's as the kids who got forcibly trooned out by their parents or ones who got duped into the tranny cult this decade finally start maturing and realizing how utterly fucked they are because of what was forced upon them/what they did. Just look at that LoL dude who offed himself last Friday -- you're gonna see that more and more. And mark my words: that 41% statistic is gonna be at least ten points higher by the end of the 20's. You're also gonna see a lot of murder/suicides of the parents of these troons, because these poor kids are gonna (rightly) feel that their parents stole their childhood and future from them for progressive brownie points. That Desmond kid is for sure going to kill himself or his parents when he gets older, zero doubt in my mind.
Naturally every suicide or murder/suicide will be blamed on TERFs and us here at the Farms, even if this site doesn't make it through the next decade.

As for the lolcows with the physique of cows, like Moviebob and the Slatons, I don't think too many of them will die in the 20's. Their health will, however, noticeably deteriorate as the consequences of their shitty lifestyles come home to roost. Might be a few heart attacks or diabetes related limb amputations, but I don't think too many of them will bite it. They're all toast in the 30's though, for sure.

DSP won't die, however much like the fat cows his shitty sedentary lifestyle is going to bite him in his gouty ass next decade. He's been whining about his bad back and other "health problems" for years, but this next decade is when they're actually going to hit him. Couple that with his current financial difficulties and he's gonna have a bad time in the 20's.

Spoony looks like he could go either way with suicide at this point. His situation is fucked since he's shown himself wholly unwilling to change it for the better, and physically he looks like the personification of "Rock Bottom." If one of his remaining income sources get removed then that may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back for him.

Yaniv should consider himself lucky he's in Canada and not the US, since that "your kids will be at a pool party with me and you're not allowed to intervene" shit would get him severely beaten or shot if he traveled south of the border. This disgusting piece of shit is gonna be around for a while.

I'm amazed ADL is still alive considering his atrocious hygiene and the stink ditch he got. I'm not sure when he'll die, but it'll probably be from substance abuse or something similar.

Now as with (most) deathpools I'm not wishing death upon them, just speculating based on their actions and the inevitable consequences of their actions. There is however one exception -- zoosadists. They're the only group I'm actively rooting for to die or kill themselves. I sincerely hope every one of them meet the kind of painful and agonizing end that they inflicted on poor innocent animals.
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Putting a vote in for Spoony. If his bipolar isn't part the petridish of pestilence he's claimed to have, a depressive or manic episode could push him over the edge.

Bunny Tracks

Nothing equals the splendor
True & Honest Fan
Out of the ones listed my best guess would be Onision. Hamplanets like ALR, and the Slatons tend to stick around longer than you'd think. With Greg, I see it more as him pulling a Chris Watts, and annihilating his entire family before either heroing himself by cop, or when he finally lands in jail.

Bloody Kiwi

Killed 7 with one blow
Fame Cow Vote - Tammy won´t make the next year
Lame Cow Vote - Is Greta irrelevant at this point? Him or Terra. Just because nobody expects it.
  • Agree
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I see most of these living and the only chance of their death being due to bad luck and not their poor health, some are killing themselves slowly with alcohol but that takes a very very long time for most and the fatties on the list while unhealthy only raise the risk of shit like strokes or fucked up heart but do not come close to a death sentence in the modern day.

I think it's more likely Zoe kills another person than anyone outside of Barb dying since she is old as fuck and made of spite and dust.
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