2020 Lolcow Death Pool -

Which Lolcow will die next?

  • Barb

    Votes: 126 31.5%
  • Tommy Tooter

    Votes: 19 4.8%
  • ADF

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • DSP

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • Amberlynn

    Votes: 54 13.5%
  • One of the Zoosadists

    Votes: 43 10.8%
  • The Slaton Sisters

    Votes: 18 4.5%
  • Boogie

    Votes: 33 8.3%
  • MovieBob

    Votes: 6 1.5%
  • ContraPoints

    Votes: 15 3.8%
  • Zoe Quinn

    Votes: 3 0.8%
  • Yaniv

    Votes: 7 1.8%
  • Chris

    Votes: 2 0.5%
  • Onision

    Votes: 15 3.8%
  • Pixyteri

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sargon's Hopes and Dreams

    Votes: 55 13.8%

  • Total voters

Twitter Hate Mob

Actual size
My money's on Jack Scalfani and Lowtax. Spoony will likely attempt to an hero but fuck it up somehow.

Bonus prediction is shoeonhead suicide baiting after the inevitable breakup with her bunny piss covered body pillow. Let's call it, say around April.
  • Agree
Reactions: Begemot


Trial by Fire! Trial by Fire!
Nigga, please.....
Everyone gonna die at some point (especially not just these poor fools, neither.) - and no sane wants to live forever, which is a further sad truth. Trying to leads to some icky results, anyway.
Barb is my obvious choice, to stay on topic, but not in 2020. Just some time in the new decade, it will happen faster than any of these others.


Spoony, once he loses the house I have no idea what he will do, other than ending it
Barb doesn't have much time left, she is aging raplity and looks way more ill since Bob died, no longer looks like Snorlax but a corpse.
Boogie and Moviebob will be dead within the next 10 years, maybe 5 for Boogie unless by some miracle they become health and lose/keep off the weight.

Like every year a few troons that are lesser known will end it, and some loser we are unaware of will shoot up someplace and we learn out after the fact how much of a lolcow they were.

Coke Pope

Does HRT ruin your liver?
I think it does. I have no background in medicine but I know that the liver helps the body synthetise sex hormones, and I remember that there was a troon that used to mod r/watchpeopledie who complained about his liver issues, he was an alcoholic and his endocronologist told him that it's a must to stop drinking before starting HRT.
I don't know if HRT itself damages the liver or just multiplies the negative effects of alcohol like some meds do but I think that tranny mod ended up with a cirrhotic liver because he didn't refrain from drinking. I don't remember his name but some years ago someone archived his antics because he was quite outspoken and lolcowish about his interests.
Contrapoints is a well known alcoholic (and somewhat shameless about it) so it logically follows that his health is going to resent from that, the liver is only able to heal so much, if you damage it frecuently and heavily you will scar its tissues and eventually end up with cirrhosis.

Syaoran Li

Link the Twink
True & Honest Fan
Why are Sargon's hopes and dreams an option? Can't kill what is already dead.
I mean, deader than they already are.

YouTube is all he has left now at this point in time, and with the new censorship policies put in place just a few weeks ago, I'm surprised he hasn't already been completely nuked off of YouTube like Varg Vikernes was.

Weeb Slinger

In common with cockroaches and Courtney Love, Zoe Quinn seems poised to remain insulated, both from the consequences of her own actions, and from the after-effects of any viral, radioactive, or biochemical disaster that befalls mankind. Whatever happens, you can expect to see her emerge from the settling dust like a skanky terminator held together by tattoos and weeping sores of dubious provenance.

There is a theory that Boogie is already dead and is running on momentum while the news of his demise reaches far-flung colonies of cells. I think that he will continue to lumber onward for another year, with an ever-growing pack of scavenging animals trailing in his wake.

I believe that Yaniv will be next to die, on one of those rare occasions when there isn't an ambulance or a team of paramedics at his place of residence. Karma dictates that he should either choke to death on a tampon, or be torn to pieces by a mob of immigrant children who he has clumsily attempted to groom. The reality is likely to be more prosaic: A fall against a curbstone while climbing out of his disability scooter or an accidental overdose. There is an outside chance that he will be shot dead by the police after dramatically drawing his taser. I suppose he could be shived in prison, since it is looking increasingly likely that he will end up there at some point in the near future.

Dumb Bitch Smoothie

Any time now, faggots.
I think Munchie Death Pool needs to be a separate category from other lolcows. Because it's guaranteed at least three will munch themselves to death.

Otherwise, Onion and Barb are on my list.
Onion doing some dumb shit and Barb going out like the current state of Star Wars.


The last sane person on Earth
Snakething will get shanked in prison, 100%.
No fucking way that a pedophile/zoophile will last a whole year locked up.


  • Barb for sure will not live to see the mid-decade. I don't know about 2020 specifically but that early 20s ballpark sounds about right.
  • Chantal seems to have a myriad of health problems so I think there's a decent chance she could take a sudden turn for the worse next year.
  • I believe I heard recently that Spoony's girlfriend left him and/or that he's at risk of losing his house which makes me think he's a reasonable candidate for becoming An Hero before too long.
  • I put my vote down for Summer 2020 on Mumkey's deadpool but I highly doubt that will come to pass at this point since it would require that Jimmy actually do something interesting. He said he'd continue on forever out of spite for us but ironically it feels like we've all forgotten about him entirely.

Ginger Piglet

Burglar of Jess Phillips MP
True & Honest Fan
Barb, by an aortic aneurysm. She's a risk factor because she's old and has been very obese in the past; she appears from the November 2019 creepy stare post to have put on a lot of weight in a short time. Did she used to smoke? There's another risk factor if so.

Gustav Schuchardt

Trans exclusionary radical feminazi.
True & Honest Fan
Yaniv. Makes a suicide attempt he intends to fail to draw attention away from something else like CP, assault or weapons charges, accidentally succeeds because he's too dumb to underdose.


This is pleasure!
Jack Scalfani is still in the process of eating himself to death, so I'm going to say there's a strong chance of him dying from a third stroke in 2020. Barb will probably go in the first half of the decade. It's hard to say what direction Chris will take after that.
I have to pick Jack as well. He is currently stuck in a wheelchair increasing the chance of blood clots but he is still eating like a pig at the trough.