2021 female Equalizer series. -

[Gaear Grimsrud]

This looks fucking awful.

I'm supposed to believe that Queen Latifah's big fat ass is the CIA's best killer?

Bring Denzel Washington back.

 

[+MarkOuttaBat+]

This looks fucking awful.

I'm supposed to believe that Queen Latifah's big fat ass is the CIA's best killer?

Bring Denzel Washington back.

Couldn't they have gotten someone who wasn't a complete fatass and some one more... fit.

Like a actual CIA agent?

 

[Oats12345]

Way isn't this thread as big?

 

[frozenrunner]

I object to this show on principle, but I've heard a lot of good things from coworkers.

Way isn't this thread as big?

As what? Queen Latifah's ass?

 

[Oats12345]

I object to this show on principle, but I've heard a lot of good things from coworkers.

As what? Queen Latifah's ass?

I'm just saying a show based off a movie staring Denzel Washington, but now has a fat chick who is post to be a top CIA assassin. Sounds like a show to be made fun of.

 

[Vecr]

And, it's gone. Does anyone have an archive?

 

[Oats12345]

And, it's gone. Does anyone have an archive?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u1QU2_NFd9Y

Here

 

[Secret Asshole]

I started laughing my fucking ass off as soon as I found out it was queen latifah. Yeah, ok, she's the world's deadliest agent. I feel sorry for all the stuntmen having to put on a fat suit. What the fuck were these people thinking?

I actually really liked the original Equalizer, because Denzel made you believe that this happy retail worker was the deadliest motherfucker in the room and he was just happy getting minimum wage and helping normal people. Then when he sees trash human traffickers, he does the right thing and puts them all in the fucking ground. God, I love when human traffickers get fucked in movies. The best part was he was completely untouchable to them because they were so far out of their league and it was believable.

The problem is all these movie shows are EXACTLY THE SAME. There's the main and then they get a 'team'. Every single time. I didn't even need to watch the trailer. Motherfucking Denzel didn't need no goddamn team. And the whole point of 'The Equalizer' is that HE WORKS SOLO. ITS IN THE NAME YOU FAGGOTS. God, I fucking hate network television so fucking much.

Fuck this show. And Equilizer's soundtrack was awesome.

I might just go rewatch the movie again and watch Denzel turn Home Depot into a fucking killing field.

 

[Dysnomia]

And, it's gone. Does anyone have an archive?

What happened? Too many negative comments?

I like Queen Latifah. But I think she does better in comedy. And she has always had a weight problem. She was pretty damn big in Living Single. Erika Alexander was the only woman on the show that didn't balloon.

Latifah looks like she has lost a bit of weight. Maybe they put her on some training program. Or it's just really good wardrobe. But she's still too fat to be believable here. In the trailer she even chides a guy for being skinny.

Yeah it would be even stupider if she was some 95 lb bimbo. But they should have cast someone who was fit and looked like they could run around punching people without needing an oxygen tank. She's an overweight 50 year old woman kicking ass with her hair did and her big ass hoop earrings on.

This was done purely to hit a bunch of diversity check marks. Doubt it will last more than a couple of seasons.

 

[WhatIsThePunchline]

Y'know I could buy a middle aged somewhat dumpy woman as some violent badass if they just... had her just use guns. The close combat shit is the breaking point.

Just you know "oooh she was this complete badass two and a half decades ago but now she's retired, oh but she's getting back in the game. She's old friends with tons of people in the biz, real old friends, she got all her intelligence skills and she can pop anyone's head from x hundred yards away at a moments notice." Then just have her blast away everyone with sniper rifles, shotguns, hand guns, automatic machine guns, whatever. You could do tons with that shit. Have an entire episode dedicated to her just arranging the perfect killzone culminating in her taking out like a crazy amount of people. The close combat shit doesn't work. Black Widow I can buy because black widow is fit and lives in a super hero universe and even then she relies a bit much on the 'jump up and lock legs with targets neck' move. Just gotta pull of her actually looking like a competent experienced intelligence operative.

The second thing I think was a mistake was base it off an existing property. Yeah if it's completely original people wouldn't care about it, but then you could lean into the camp a bit and people would look forward to a nice schlocky action series. If it's based off the Equalizer people will just laugh at the new show being shit.

 

[Secret Asshole]

Y'know I could buy a middle aged somewhat dumpy woman as some violent badass if they just... had her just use guns. The close combat shit is the breaking point.

Just you know "oooh she was this complete badass two and a half decades ago but now she's retired, oh but she's getting back in the game. She's old friends with tons of people in the biz, real old friends, she got all her intelligence skills and she can pop anyone's head from x hundred yards away at a moments notice." Then just have her blast away everyone with sniper rifles, shotguns, hand guns, automatic machine guns, whatever. You could do tons with that shit. Have an entire episode dedicated to her just arranging the perfect killzone culminating in her taking out like a crazy amount of people. The close combat shit doesn't work. Black Widow I can buy because black widow is fit and lives in a super hero universe and even then she relies a bit much on the 'jump up and lock legs with targets neck' move. Just gotta pull of her actually looking like a competent experienced intelligence operative.

The second thing I think was a mistake was base it off an existing property. Yeah if it's completely original people wouldn't care about it, but then you could lean into the camp a bit and people would look forward to a nice schlocky action series. If it's based off the Equalizer people will just laugh at the new show being shit.

Well, in the movie, Denzel was like that. He'd walk into a room full of dudes and already be calculating how to murder all of them. If he was outnumbered, he'd set traps. He never fought fair.

But the problem is you can't show that much violence on network TV. Like when I was binging Mr. Robot I was shocked how much gore there was on USA. Honestly, if its about someone like that, then yeah, guns and strategy.

Seriously, all network TV is the same nowadays. Look at how its shot. Bright, bland, with a 'team', its all the identical clichés of the typical network action show. The show's only purpose is white noise around the dinner table, because its indistinguishable from all the other shows.

House only lasted so long because House was a cunt (who would have been fired about a thousand times over) and I mean, once you got bored of his demeanor it was nothing special. *Mysterious case* *gets it wrong first* *Diagnosis room scene where he calls everyone retards* *House gets into trouble* *House forces people to do B&E* *Finds out Patient is a liar, insults and berates patient* *Does insane risky expensive thing that works, House is always right* *pop Vicodin* *End show*

There, that's basically every single episode of House. It was so popular because it shifted one element of the formula, but once you tired of it and saw the formula, it was just like every other network show. I dislike House because the character's arrogance and him being unequivocally right gets real fucking old real fucking fast.

I can no longer watch Network TV. I have absolutely NO fucking clue why people would subscribe to any Network TV streaming service. It hurts my brain to watch. I think it simply exists as something to fall asleep to or for families to eat around. I don't even think its purpose is to actually be watched, but left on as white noise. USA typically has the better network shows, but that seems to be in the past. Its hard for me to think of a new (2019-2020) network show that didn't follow the same shitty formula for its genre.

 

[WhatIsThePunchline]

Well, in the movie, Denzel was like that. He'd walk into a room full of dudes and already be calculating how to murder all of them. If he was outnumbered, he'd set traps. He never fought fair.

But the problem is you can't show that much violence on network TV. Like when I was binging Mr. Robot I was shocked how much gore there was on USA. Honestly, if its about someone like that, then yeah, guns and strategy.

Seriously, all network TV is the same nowadays. Look at how its shot. Bright, bland, with a 'team', its all the identical clichés of the typical network action show. The show's only purpose is white noise around the dinner table, because its indistinguishable from all the other shows.

House only lasted so long because House was a cunt (who would have been fired about a thousand times over) and I mean, once you got bored of his demeanor it was nothing special. *Mysterious case* *gets it wrong first* *Diagnosis room scene where he calls everyone retards* *House gets into trouble* *House forces people to do B&E* *Finds out Patient is a liar, insults and berates patient* *Does insane risky expensive thing that works, House is always right* *pop Vicodin* *End show*

There, that's basically every single episode of House. It was so popular because it shifted one element of the formula, but once you tired of it and saw the formula, it was just like every other network show. I dislike House because the character's arrogance and him being unequivocally right gets real fucking old real fucking fast.

I can no longer watch Network TV. I have absolutely NO fucking clue why people would subscribe to any Network TV streaming service. It hurts my brain to watch. I think it simply exists as something to fall asleep to or for families to eat around. I don't even think its purpose is to actually be watched, but left on as white noise. USA typically has the better network shows, but that seems to be in the past. Its hard for me to think of a new (2019-2020) network show that didn't follow the same shitty formula for its genre.

House strikes me as one of the last shows really meant for the tv format. It seems to me designed to be watched at most one episode a week, often expecting people to miss one or even a couple of episodes. Everything has to be as self contained as possible and as you said, they had a formula and they followed it pretty closely. Also the episode length meant a lot of episodes had to have a bunch of padding. Nowadays you watch a bunch of fun clips of it on youtube and then when you go looking for the show you quickly realize those moments where the small points of truly memorable stuff. It did have some fun stuff in it but it could have been a lot more than what it was.

I cancelled my streaming service years ago because it was just one bland mediocre show after another. Don't own a television.

 

[Secret Asshole]

House strikes me as one of the last shows really meant for the tv format. It seems to me designed to be watched at most one episode a week, often expecting people to miss one or even a couple of episodes. Everything has to be as self contained as possible and as you said, they had a formula and they followed it pretty closely. Also the episode length meant a lot of episodes had to have a bunch of padding. Nowadays you watch a bunch of fun clips of it on youtube and then when you go looking for the show you quickly realize those moments where the small points of truly memorable stuff. It did have some fun stuff in it but it could have been a lot more than what it was.

I cancelled my streaming service years ago because it was just one bland mediocre show after another. Don't own a television.

Yeah, it really was. But even back then, you had torrents. It was just unchanging and ugh, awful. Like he didn't change at all, no matter what happened. I guess it was just a sign of where TV was.

House today would be a whole different show, probably better. But it was just thatt repetitive formula over and over, especially if you downloaded and watched them. You could go out of order completely and it wouldn't matter. The series end was fucking terrible too.

 

[Oats12345]

So has anyone watch any epsiodes?

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

I actually really liked the original Equalizer, because Denzel made you believe that this happy retail worker was the deadliest motherfucker in the room and he was just happy getting minimum wage and helping normal people.

I liked Denzel as The Equalizer too, but I have to say that he wasn't the original Equalizer. The original Equalizer was a tv-show from 1985 with Edward Woodward as The Equalizer.
Basically Queen Latifah's The Equalizer is a remake of the remake of the original.
The Equalizer opening:

 

[Commander X]

 

[Ahriman]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u1QU2_NFd9Y

Here

Embedded for your viewing pleasure.

Hilarious trainwreck.

 

[Commander X]

One thing about Woodward was that some people said that, even though they had different backstories, on The Equalizer his McCall came across as an older version of the titular character he played in the bleak 1967-1972 series "Callan", an operative for "the Section", a covert branch of British intelligence devoted to neutralizing people considered to be threats to national security, via methods ranging from "just" blackmail and extortion to assassination. He kept on keeping on at his job because he was afraid it was the only sort of work he was any good at and his paranoia the Section would have him killed if he attempted to quit - and his paranoia was justified.