[22 Feb 19] 45 minute video - "Wanna chill with the Antifa Crime Minister?" - How about NO?

[Positron]

Obviously I'm not going to watch something so long. Those with better patience than I may provide a rundown.

Dipping into it I hear a lot of smackings and snortings. And he seems mostly talking about why he deleted his Facebook.

(For some reason the video is extremely choppy on Vimeo. You may see the original on Phil's twitter, or maybe someone with better know-how can back it up elsewhere.)

Reminds me. Share your favorite derp eyes screenshots!

 

[registereduser]

Is the video already gone?

 

[Positron]

Vimeo is processing it and they need about 15 more minutes. It's long.

Or you may see it on Phil's twitter.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The only way I'd chill with him is if he's locked in a walk in freezer.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

He looks so tough and intimidating with that flower 'kerchif.

 

[The Dude]

"Wanna chill with the Ain't-ifa Prime Ribmister?" No. No, not really. If I'm being honest, scrubbing my cock and balls with a rusty cheese grater, then fucking a fleshlight lubricated with lemon juice and battery acid is far more appealing than spending any time with a fat, obnoxious, unwashed, delusional tankie tard. Having a three-way with Hillary Clinton and a rabid honey badger sounds more pleasant and fulfilling than chilling with Isaboy the Keyboard Warrior. A drain cleaner enema would be a better option. Phil should really take a long, hard look at his life and ask himself why the only people willing to socialize with him are other low-functioning social pariahs and edge lord poseurs like he is.

 

[General_Butt_Naked]

Wow, I know ISIS is on the brink of defeat and all but they really don't have standards anymore!

 

[The Fool]

"Wanna chill with the Ain't-ifa Prime Ribmister?" No. No, not really. If I'm being honest, scrubbing my cock and balls with a rusty cheese grater, then fucking a fleshlight lubricated with lemon juice and battery acid is far more appealing than spending any time with a fat, obnoxious, unwashed, delusional tankie tard. Having a three-way with Hillary Clinton and a rabid honey badger sounds more pleasant and fulfilling than chilling with Isaboy the Keyboard Warrior. A drain cleaner enema would be a better option. Phil should really take a long, hard look at his life and ask himself why the only people willing to socialize with him are other low-functioning social pariahs and edge lord poseurs like he is.

We get it, you wanna spend time with him, no need to go all sour grapes.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I'll skip it, thanks Phil.

The idea that he goes around his flat 24/7 dressed like that amuses me. Who does he think he's impressing? He barely ever leaves his home. Guaranteed he marches around the flat with his toy guns, pretending to shoot people and making gun noises like we all did when we were three years old. No wonder his roommate and neighbours hate him.

"Pretty eyes"
"I love my eyes"
No you don't, Phil. You're trying your damnedest to cover them up lately because we keep taking the piss out of them. They do give you away as being a 'tard, though, sorry.

Herp, derp.

 

[Angry New Ager]

"Pretty eyes"
"I love my eyes"

Ah, yes, those FAS-looking eyes of yours. You do have FAS, don't you, Phil?

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

Bruh, you are sitting down, how are you this out of breath?

 

[4Macie]

won't transcribe the thing, but here are some plot points:

• phil thanks all the people who donated to him today, he was able to buy food
• his bank 'stole' $54 from him
• claims he has patrolling and meetings, so he enjoys sitting on his bed (he says throne)
• tries to say he's the face behind antifa but catches himself and quickly adds prime minster after (should be noted he's wearing his stupid mask the whole time)
• he's "only firdy-free years old" so he's not some "old trans lady" even though he just got done complaining about all his joint pain from being houseless for 5 years
• implies things are so bad out there that he doesn't know if he'll make it another day or get shot in the street
• about 5:50 or so he says "my mask has roses on it, it makes me look so pretty" and appears to fart
• he's been cyberstalked for 10 years now and wants "some mudder fukn payback from kiwifarms"
• drinks from his canteen, through his mask (and claims that's how he does it at every protest)
• he makes a weird giggle and groan/sigh as he claims he won't be showing us his antifa prime minster face because that's only for his closest cabinet members.... as if we don't already know who he is and what he looks like
• comes on kiwifarms to see what we're saying about him. HI PHIL! (they always deadname me der)
  
• says he's going to bust our little balls...and fuck us (while giggling, groaning, and panting)
• reads the title about his dead tissue stink ditch, gives the camera a side-glare and says nah that's an old update, where are da new updates
• reads comments from the random updates on phil's board
• gets slightly offended that someone posts about how he doesn't know the difference between getting something and earning something and how he hasn't actually gotten into any conflict in his life. "hahah fuck YOU"
  
• makes a comment about the low viewer count "guess I'm not that interesting of a prime minister"
• randomly goes off about his bank asking him to provide his phone number so they can help him. says he told them to fuck off cuz he could fix it himself
• has a 10 min period where he's just awkwardly panting, sighing, and making random self-inflating comments like "I've got top secret plans"
• last 15-20 is about some lady he hates and her ak47

Overall, boring as fuck. Thanks Phil.

 

[The Fool]

I don't keep up with phil much and don't know when he started this prime minister thing, but, I think it's absolutely adorable.
Fitting, too. He really is the perfect match to be Antifa's PM. Maybe he can even work his way up the ladder and replace Trudeau.

 

[The Dude]

We get it, you wanna spend time with him, no need to go all sour grapes.

Was I that obvious? Dammit. Sorry.

I'll skip it, thanks Phil.

The idea that he goes around his flat 24/7 dressed like that amuses me. Who does he think he's impressing? He barely ever leaves his home. Guaranteed he marches around the flat with his toy guns, pretending to shoot people and making gun noises like we all did when we were three years old. No wonder his roommate and neighbours hate him.

"Pretty eyes"
"I love my eyes"
No you don't, Phil. You're trying your damnedest to cover them up lately because we keep taking the piss out of them. They do give you away as being a 'tard, though, sorry.

Herp, derp.

It's not about impressing others. It's all about Phil creating the comforting illusion that he's some kind of badass freedom fighter. A warrior for the analchest revolution. Someone to be feared and respected. Phil dresses up and postures so it's easier to maintain the comforting delusion that he isn't a pathetic, powerless loser terrified of everything, who has no influence with anyone, and can't even sleep in the bedroom of his own apartment.

Phil and CWC have a LOT in common in this regard. They both guard their delusions jealously and often go to ridiculous lengths to engage in their fantasies to escape the depressing truth that their lives are miserable and worthless. And like CWC, Phil often tries to get others to participate in his delusions to reinforce them and make them feel more real.

Phil is also covering up his face because we are constantly giving him shit about his bucked teeth and fat moon face. His comment about loving his eyes is a weak attempt at denying what we've been saying about them. He tried to cover them up with cheap-ass goggles that you could still see his deep eyes through, then stopped wearing them when we gave him shit about that. He knows he's ugly and looks like a mongo, and it really bothers him. I wouldn't be surprised if he is covering up so he doesn't have to accidentally see his reflection and have his fantasies shattered. When he dresses up like a Down's Syndrome jihadi and sees his reflection he can more easily maintain the delusion that he's a badass Supper Slopper.

"Pretty eyes"
"I love my eyes"

Ah, yes, those FAS-looking eyes of yours. You do have FAS, don't you, Phil?

Probably. Being born with a severe case of Autism would be bad enough by itself. But then add Fetal Alcohol on top of that shit? It's like a curse or punishment from the Almighty or something. And you can tell it's really, really upsetting Phil that we have been discussing his tard eyes and pointing out that they're an obvious giveaway that it's him in photos, even when he's literally dressed head-to-toe in his finest cheap-ass mall ninja garbage. It's funny how Phil always lets the whole world know when things make him bounce and squeak.

 

[RL325]

won't transcribe the thing, but here are some plot points:

• last 15-20 is about some lady he hates and her ak47

Overall, boring as fuck. Thanks Phil.

Haley Adams. She's a right wing girl, maybe. I think people pay attention to her because she's hot. It's quite possible she will earn lolcow status at some point. But at least she is a real girl, has real guns, and a real pussy. He hates her because she is what he is not.

 

[The Dude]

Now, let's be fair to Phil, guys. He has been in exactly three conflicts in his life: the one where he beat his disabled, wheelchair-bound mother for not giving him money for weeb shit, the one where he beat his then-girlfriend for some childish slight, and the one at Occupy where the skinny white college kit handed Phil's ass to him and Phil had to save face by making up lies about being surrounded by a gang of big black guys. There you go, Phil. Don't ever say I never stood up for you.

And the bank didn't steal from you, Phil. You gave them permission, when you signed a legally binding contract when you opened your account, to charge overdraft fees whenever you overspend on your card. It isn't the bank's fault that you're a slave to consumerism and can't control yourself when it comes to wasting your TardBux rowboat on toy guns and garbage quality airsoft vests. The bank isn't putting a gun to your head to force you to buy new Hot Topic edge lord clothes and props for your Supper Slurper escapism fantasies. That's all on you, big boy.

And you would think someone boasting to be the "Crime Minister of Antifa" wouldn't hesitate to go out and steal some food if they were so hungry. Sounds like despite a certain someone bragging about how he isn't afraid of being arrested, they're in fact terrified of breaking the law, getting arrested, and losing their tax payer funded free ride. Typical Phil: nothing but bold talk and no action to back it up.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

won't transcribe the thing, but here are some plot points:

• phil thanks all the people who donated to him today, he was able to buy food
• his bank 'stole' $54 from him
• claims he has patrolling and meetings, so he enjoys sitting on his bed (he says throne)
• tries to say he's the face behind antifa but catches himself and quickly adds prime minster after (should be noted he's wearing his stupid mask the whole time)
• he's "only firdy-free years old" so he's not some "old trans lady" even though he just got done complaining about all his joint pain from being houseless for 5 years
• implies things are so bad out there that he doesn't know if he'll make it another day or get shot in the street
• about 5:50 or so he says "my mask has roses on it, it makes me look so pretty" and appears to fart
• he's been cyberstalked for 10 years now and wants "some mudder fukn payback from kiwifarms"
• drinks from his canteen, through his mask (and claims that's how he does it at every protest)
• he makes a weird giggle and groan/sigh as he claims he won't be showing us his antifa prime minster face because that's only for his closest cabinet members.... as if we don't already know who he is and what he looks like
• comes on kiwifarms to see what we're saying about him. HI PHIL! (they always deadname me der)
  
• says he's going to bust our little balls...and fuck us (while giggling, groaning, and panting)
• reads the title about his dead tissue stink ditch, gives the camera a side-glare and says nah that's an old update, where are da new updates
• reads comments from the random updates on phil's board
• gets slightly offended that someone posts about how he doesn't know the difference between getting something and earning something and how he hasn't actually gotten into any conflict in his life. "hahah fuck YOU"
  
• makes a comment about the low viewer count "guess I'm not that interesting of a prime minister"
• randomly goes off about his bank asking him to provide his phone number so they can help him. says he told them to fuck off cuz he could fix it himself
• has a 10 min period where he's just awkwardly panting, sighing, and making random self-inflating comments like "I've got top secret plans"
• last 15-20 is about some lady he hates and her ak47

Overall, boring as fuck. Thanks Phil.

So a bunch of this video is Phil reading our comments again? He really does have no life but us, does he? He's trying, bless him, but this whole antifa thing just comes down (again) to Phil wanting some sort of power to take down Kiwi Farms.

@The Dude is right, this is just Phil's version of CWC's 'merge'.

 

[Deadpool]

Hmmm I wonder why Phil mentions his phone plan, and how good it is despite being poor. It's almost like someone here mentioned it recently...

If Phil really wants to save money he should cancel his cell phone plan, and get a government phone. Hell they actually give smart phones with 1000 minutes, unlimited texts and 1gig of data per month. The money that he saves could go torwards food shitty t-shirts/ mall ninja shit.

 

[Coldgrip]

Reminds me. Share your favorite derp eyes screenshots!

Not a screenshot, but still the best derp-eye picture of him,

 

[admiral]

Those snorts of exertion as he heaves his pestilence-filled carcass upright out of his nest are a great introduction to the video.