Surgery [23 May 18] - Bowel Prep & Stalking Adventures - with $2 laxatives bought six months ago

[JSGOTI]

So, it's apparently a huge deal to show off that he bought this $2 bottle of laxative in december, in preparation for his surgery. Now, while I'm not convinced that this surgery is happening in the first place, why would you stockpile a laxative that far in advance when it's easily available from most drug stores/pharmacies/big box stored?

But, it does show that he's clearly committed to this lie, because generally, laxatives are not something to just take for shits and giggles(no pun intended)

That video came from last night, with a post about having to go in for blood work before the surgery to make sure that everything is all good, but it turns out that he only needed to go in for a piss test for nicotine(really?)

But when he was almost back home, he was told that he needed to return for REAL blood testing, as well.

Topping it all off, is this insane op-sec of his where he believes that we have KF agents around every corner(instead of just having his neighbor keep an eye on him), so he needs to keep his routes sekrit(tm) so that he cannot easily be tracked or followed, because having to face down a KF paparazzi is pants-shittingly terrifying.

 

[Done]

I love how we're this incredibly powerful and shadowy stalking organization, yet this board is almost all updates that Phil posted himself.

 

[4Macie]

He acts like every time he gets on the bus a Kiwi is there....

 

[Bassomatic]

I am so proud to say my fellow Kiwi's Phil has taken "shits himself and do nothing" to it's literal meaning as he's gonna gobble his poo poo pills and not get his surgery.

You know what's best? Toren has to share that bathroom. He's gonna go to puke his rot gut up and stare at a bowl full of Phil's waste.

Really if anything pranking Toren this hard, makes me want to salute our brave potato.

 

[Sparklepants]

That laxative drink will make you shit pure stomach acid, he really is committed to the lie or by some strange miracle is actually getting the surgery.

 

[Piss Clam]

Why not just do an enema. I mean medically speaking it's safer than dropping pills.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

That laxative drink will make you shit pure stomach acid, he really is committed to the lie or by some strange miracle is actually getting the surgery.

He should be fine as he's taking magnesium sulphate which is osmotic (it sucks water into your poop) unlike normal laxatives which trigger nerve endings in your gut to make you poop

 

[Jaded Optimist]

nice dollar store witch hat

Round Two - GRS Surgery Bowel Prep Sangria

 

[Randy Lahey]

If cheese makes you constipated and he’s taking laxatives, which one will win out?

 

[Bassomatic]

Why not just do an enema. I mean medically speaking it's safer than dropping pills.

For a medical use, it doesn't go up far enough or clean enough.

I wish I didn't know that, but now you do too.

 

[Positron]

The hospital would have given you the bowel prep retard; you don't have to buy it back in December!

But when he was almost back home, he was told that he needed to return for REAL blood testing, as well.

And yet he does not complain of being abused by cishet capitalism and/or Kiwifarms. A likely story.

laxatives are not something to just take for shits and giggles(no pun intended)

He loves pain and self-abuse.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

"Mmmmst… I can taste the solidarity"

Edit: Shit, did he say "Selenity" and not solidarity?

Also, who's making that noise at the very end? Like a "NoooOOOooo"

 

[Jaded Optimist]

The hospital would have given you the bowel prep exceptional individual; you don't have to buy it back in December!

is that an american thing? In Canada I've had to buy my own pre surgery stuff, including antibacterial scrubs/sponge.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

is that an american thing? In Canada I've had to buy my own pre surgery stuff, including antibacterial scrubs/sponge.

That's a result of your awesome healthcare up there. No personal offense. Bureaucrats cutting costs I'd assume.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

That's a result of your awesome healthcare up there. No personal offense. Bureaucrats cutting costs I'd assume.

meh, it was like $1.00 for all the supplies.

"Mmmmst… I can taste the solidarity"

Edit: Shit, did he say "Selenity" and not solidarity?

Also, who's making that noise at the very end? Like a "NoooOOOooo"

I think he said "salinity" as in saline. I'm assuming it has electrolites in it to combat the dehydration from shitting your guts out.

 

[Bassomatic]

The hospital would have given you the bowel prep retard; you don't have to buy it back in December!

That and the real stuff, is PhX only not OTC.

Movi prep also according to goodrx website it's about 100 bucks Phil has tard insure so I dunno what if any co pay he has.
https://moviprep.salix.com/

 

[Optimus Prime]

He's going to keep his routes secret?

He DOES know that in order for him to get anywhere, he has to leave the house, right? And he's so proudly reminded the internet of the day he gets the surgery that we know WHEN to expect him to leave his house. And he has literally no friends so no way he's going to try hiding somewhere else the night before (we'd simply track him there anyway). With drones we merely need to park one above where he is and we can track him, because he can't run nor walk faster than a drone, and it isn't like he's getting into a car (his mortal enemy next to the farms).

I legit think he's trying to go all in on this one. And it isn't like we LOSE anyway if somehow his balls get chopped off, since we're so important to him that he'll have to show us how great he's doing without a twig and berries.

 

[Positron]

And I wonder what kind of blood/urine tests require a patient to specifically go to the hospital 2 days in advance of the surgery -- especially when the patient has already started bowel prep which can cause... embarrassments. Tests are either done during last consultation (the much-anticipated Dr. Dugi visit that Phil told us absolutely nothing about), or after the patient is admitted.

 

[Bassomatic]

I think Phil is just building his out already.

From Quest diagnostics site (one of the largest medical testers often hospitals etc use them vs in house due to quality and speed :
Depending on the test performed, most tests are completed and reported to your ordering healthcare provider within about 24 hours of receiving the sample for testing. Certain tests take several days to weeks. Results are sent directly to the ordering healthcare professional.

Also, what really sticks out is Phil is on his cleaning for his SRS, yet then they need blood/urine? When things will be all out of wack. Doctors don't test your blood pressure after 6 cups of coffee, hell my last check up since I was dragging ass a large expresso double brought mine up enough my PCP just asked if I had some that morning, so going through colon blow 6000 and not eating solid foods for a few days asking for a test seems quite unlikely. Even though doctors can see and adapt for conditions when they get samples they want it to be a clear bodied closest to normal, I've never heard of taking blood or urine when you are inducing the runs as even with the suggestions they give you to keep electolytes and fluids up, it's still kinda rough on the body. Pulling blood or inducing peeing a lot on dehydrated people is not what doctors do.

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, to really add another hole in this story (unlike him getting a hole added in his body) this has been a many year ordeal to get Phil his vag, yet if in deed the tests are real and indeed they get results back in 24 hours, at MOST they would have to scramble in under a day to give bad news. For how expensive, risky and long term this is planned it's like booking a cruise in all of Europe thru a travel agent, and the day before they call you and say "hey do you have a pass port?" Either that hospital is lolcow central for not planning things out, or Phil is indeed trying to get an out.

But I will laugh when he says Kiwi farms stole his piss to ruin his vag, because if we really just wanted to steal piss soaked things we could just take... well any piece of clothing of his we wouldn't need to commit all sorts of crimes stealing medical stuff.

 

[NoFeline]

I don't know how I've managed to only just now see his face but I think his reaction to the taste of that laxative is the same as mine.