[29 Dec '18] Fat Potato Runs in Public - To Prove Fitness to Kiwi Farms


Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
I can tell you exactly what Phil would do. You would look at him, Phil would start to become sketchy as fuck. As you follow him, you start to smell shit and rotten, infected, pus filled flesh in the air. As you follow Phil, he decides to turn around, demands that you give him your iPhone because he is going to rip the SD card out of it. Fortunately, for you, you have an Android, you tell Phil this and as confusion sets in on his face, he takes a swing. You stand there, shocked at what you just witnessed. A fat, 33 year old man who claims to be a woman just knocked himself unconscious because he lost his balance trying to hit you. You stand there for a minute contemplating whether you should wake the fatfuck up. Instead, you get your phone and a sharpie, write the word #fuckantifa on his forehead, take a picture, and post it to Phil's "comrades" Twitter accounts. A hilarious shitstorm ensues, the winds of shit are coming, and they're bring a shitnami/shitnado no one has ever seen before....can you smell it??? Because Phil sure can't. Phil wakes up, runs home, and realizes what just occurred. From that day on, Phil will never leave the safety of his hovel, ensuring the safety and peace of the city of Portland. The end.
More likely is he’d just turn and run. He knows we have a non-interference rule, and that’s why he feels confident enough to posture.
Somebody should tell him that bondage gear and belt buckles everywhere isn't the right attire for cardio. Did you listen to him run? he sounds like loose change.
This is a dead giveaway that this fitness bullshit is all for show. If he was serious, he’d be dressed for it. If nothing else, the sheer discomfort would compel him to invest in something more practical.
Phil wants to be a facist communist illuminati in all ways except in name.
I’ve said it before, but what he wants is an excuse to cosplay in a uniform in order to make himself feel powerful. If an actual Nazi-style party arose in the US, complete with fancy uniforms, you know he’d be goose-stepping in line quicker than you could say 14 words.
I see someone still hasn't learned not to feed the trolls, this lulzmilk goes well with these cookies I'm having here.
He wants to feed the trolls. He freaks out when we’re not talking about him.


Identifies as an attack helicopter
Nice waddle-run Phil; I'd probably peg that as a decent jog rather than a full on run though based on using landmarks in the road (like trash) as a reference point to that fatboy waddle. I also notice you couldn't keep it going for more than half a minute either, probably needed to cut the part where you were panting like a dog over doing more exercise than you do in a month. You are somehow less healthy than Chris and your average fatty; who could at least go three or four times the distance and a touch faster before needing to rest for a second to catch his breath. Also yeah, Chris did it first and was funnier.

Again, if we really wanted to silence the fat bouncing potato if we were similarly childish and had a desire to commit violence, we'd just gun you down like this:
Well if there's one thing we will never see, it's Phil running a marathon at the Olympic games (and since he's such a dumbass, he would probably be representing north North Korea or some shit because he believes he would be pissing of the US Government when in reality I don't think they'd care if Phil was kidnapped and tortured for Kim Jong Uns entertainment). Also Phil, at least when Chris posted his running/parkay video, he ran at full speed and didn't cust when he slowed down to catch his breath. Are you trying to show how tough you are phil because it's not working. All you're doing is effectively embarrassing yourself.

More likely is he’d just turn and run. He knows we have a non-interference rule, and that’s why he feels confident enough to posture.
But he does know and fully understand that if he were to confront us, play his tough guy game, and attempt to swing, then the whole "non-interference rule" wouldn't thrown out the window and he would get his ass kicked. He should really be thankful we have something like that.

The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
I guarantee you that if you were to record Phil running and then play it back in slow motion his fat rolls would look like a lava lamp. Remember that old Simpsons episode where Homer gets a physical and the doctor pokes his belly? "Look at that blubber fly!"

I really can't wait until Phil gets dropped from antifa, abandons his analchest/communist schitck, and ends up a soverign citizen. I mean, it basically caters to a dumbass like Phil. They make me up their own laws, they're edgy, the refuse to pay taxes/bills, they feel like they're entitled to everything/that they're superior to everyone, they only use gold/silver/promesary notes as a form of payment, they're against the man and the United States government (I think they still follow the documentation by the Confederate states of America) and disreguard the Constitution, and they're completely, 100% delusional. Phil would fit right in.
Phil can't get booted out of a group that he was never a member of in the first place. Despite his obsession with AntiFa, Phil isn't actually a member. Nor are any of the AntiFa "comrades" he talks about. Phil is basically in a small group of poseurs, wannabes, and clingers-on. One of them may know someone who actually is a member of AntiFa, basically a tard wrangler who has been tasked with keeping an eye on the losers, mongoloids, and tough-talkers to ensure that they aren't doing anything stupid that could come back and bring the heat down on the real AntiFa activists, but that's as close as any of them come to AntiFa. Just a bunch of losers and misfits (even more so than actual AntiFa morons) playing make believe as revolutionaries.

The Un-Clit

Can you find it? come on in, look closer!

The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
So, let's be realistic here...Phil is actually practicing at running away from confrontations here. He is working himself up, getting more paranoid that people are out to hurt him, and he knows he doesn't have what it takes to fight back, so instead he's trying to get better at running away from threats. I hope he does get better at running away, because right now an old lady with gout and a walker could outrun him.

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