3/28/2021 - Chris's latest fender bender -

[Broseph]

but real talk how the fuck did chris crash into a SEMI TRUCK? those things are fucking huge and you can see them from far the fuck away

Because he's a fucking idiot?

 

[Cedric_Eff]

Back in October 2010, when Son-Chu was still the Ford Escort, Chris recorded a series of videos showing him driving along Ruckersville. The videos included a shot of his car's oil change sticker showing that his next oil change was due back in April 2009:
View attachment 2062744
Unless he did get the oil changed again and the oil change place didn't bother replacing the sticker, he was over a year and a half overdue.

That generation of Chrysler minivans were very popular (the Grand Caravan generation that Chris is driving sold nearly a million units, and that's not including the other vans that Chrysler sold which used the same platform) and are still a relatively common sight. I highly doubt that he would have any issue with finding a replacement liftgate. Of course, the big question is if he should, and judging by the texts, even Chris knows at this point he should try to look for something more modern and reliable.

Chris attempts to buy either a Nissan Leaf or a Tesla Model X and attempts to charge it because “MY BODY CAN GENERATE ELECTRICITY!”

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

Chris is a lucky bastard or something because hitting a semi-truck would usually cause a lot more damage than what he got. I do wonder how much his car insurance rates are with the way he has been wrecking cars left and right or causing accidents randomly. Like they must be through the roof or does he even have insurance? Or does he drive without having it?
I bet whatever company insures him must be having a field day with how much money they lose every time Chris has to pay for the damages he causes to other drivers.

 

[Joe Cool]

Chris attempts to buy either a Nissan Leaf or a Tesla Model X and attempts to charge it because “MY BODY CAN GENERATE ELECTRICITY!”

I don't think Chris would even be able to buy the Nissan Leaf.

 

[Rogowski]

It’s funny too, if the Chandlers lost their vehicles completely they would probably be eligible for one of those charity services that cart seniors and retards around town on a short bus to handle errands and shopping etc but would Chris’ ego allow him to stoop to such a thing? He was offended as a child when he had to ride the short bus to school wasn’t he?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

It’s funny too, if the Chandlers lost their vehicles completely they would probably be eligible for one of those charity services that cart seniors and retards around town on a short bus to handle errands and shopping etc but would Chris’ ego allow him to stoop to such a thing? He was offended as a child when he had to ride the short bus to school wasn’t he?

Imagine when he throws a shit fit because it won't take him to a con. Sorry, sir, unless this "Loli-convention" is within the town's limits, we're not going!

 

[Botchy Galoop]

I have questions.
Exactly where was Christine when he backed into a semi ?
Has he taken to hanging around truck stops?
Is Christine a....Lot Lizard?
HmMMMMMmmmmmm.....

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I have questions.
Exactly where was Christine when he backed into a semi ?
Has he taken to hanging around truck stops?
Is Christine a....Lot Lizard?
HmMMMMMmmmmmm.....

He was at a truck stop pretending to be Magi-Chan while handing out vouchers for 2 BJs for the price of 1.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

He was at a truck stop pretending to be Magi-Chan while handing out vouchers for 2 BJs for the price of 1.

I have a slightly different theory: Magichan, drunk or high drove whilst Pristine Christine blew him.

 

[Volthoom]

I know I'm probably late. But how did the back of his minivan get fucked up?

I was gonna ask the same question

 

[OfficerBagget]

It’s funny too, if the Chandlers lost their vehicles completely they would probably be eligible for one of those charity services that cart seniors and retards around town on a short bus to handle errands and shopping etc but would Chris’ ego allow him to stoop to such a thing? He was offended as a child when he had to ride the short bus to school wasn’t he?

They are slowly discontinuing the short bus. Nowadays most those services just have a fucking Uber show up to pick them up.

 

[Mr. 0]

I hope Chris goes to jail and his van gets towed for assault and evasion on Optimus Prime

 

[Argh My Cigar]

View attachment 2057567

What he thinking about

Whatever it is, I imagine this playing in the background.

 

[Annie Adderall]

I hadn’t checked in on Chris in a few years. I’m surprised Vanchu is still alive.

A Dodge van is the perfect vehicle for someone with a high BMI and low credit score.

 

[Glowie]

Has anyone wondered how fucked up the cars internals and tires are? Chris knows jacks and shit about cars, so who How neglected car internals, oils and other fragile parts that might be in less than stellar condition due to Chris's inept driving for all we know the whole fucking hunk of junk lights up like wickerman after the umpteenth fender bender or a collision with yet another semi truck.

I'm not A logging but stating the obvious
How fucked up Chandler ghetto wagon is.

 

[Retarded INTP]

Obligatory edit.

View attachment 2060577

It's been years and I still can't process the fact that this is a real person. It's been decades and I'm still in denial. For all his flaws in the end I really pity the guy.

 

[Chef Hanlon]

he would rather buy legos than fix his rear window or upgrade to a toyota sienna.

that Dodge MUST have been bought used from someone who has previously took good care of that van. No fucking way a Dodge can survive 20 years under Chandler abuse. Hell, I think even a Honda or Toyota would struggle to survive two decades from such people who treat their cars like garbage.

True, when presented with a cheaper less worth while option Chris will always chose that over the more economical longer term investment because that means more immediate money for legos. I mean besides the Ford Focus I don't believe Chris has ever owned a car that hasn't been a shitty beater.

There's a problem with the used Toyota market and that is everyone knows they're reliable and have the best resale value so they tend to overvalue them accordingly. It's difficult to find a nice Toyota priced in the range of what Chris is willing to pay for it, unless someone just gives him the car. If I had to take bets I would say the next car that bares the "son-chu" license plate is going to be of the KIA or Chrysler variety.

 

[Tam Tam The Beluga 1986]

True, when presented with a cheaper less worth while option Chris will always chose that over the more economical longer term investment because that means more immediate money for legos. I mean besides the Ford Focus I don't believe Chris has ever owned a car that hasn't been a shitty beater.

There's a problem with the used Toyota market and that is everyone knows they're reliable and have the best resale value so they tend to overvalue them accordingly. It's difficult to find a nice Toyota priced in the range of what Chris is willing to pay for it, unless someone just gives him the car. If I had to take bets I would say the next car that bares the "son-chu" license plate is going to be of the KIA or Chrysler variety.

True. My family has been Honda people since we had issues with Chrysler vehicles in the past. Great cars but man, even the Civics that are not trashed or have an insane amount of mileage are not that cheap when used compared to competitors aside from Toyotas.

Don't know if this has been posted already, but I just saw this on 4chan. Supposedly some anon took them today, but faggot jannie 404d the thread.

mod edit: details of what happened to the car in this post

he looks like the old man from Up! lol

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Has anyone wondered how fucked up the cars internals and tires are? Chris knows jacks and shit about cars, so who How neglected car internals, oils and other fragile parts that might be in less than stellar condition due to Chris's inept driving for all we know the whole fucking hunk of junk lights up like wickerman after the umpteenth fender bender or a collision with yet another semi truck.

I'm not A logging but stating the obvious
How fucked up Chandler ghetto wagon is.

IIRC Chris really doesn't go far on a normal, day to day basis. Sheetz, the Food Lion, Walmart, are all about a five or six mile round trip in Ruckersville. If he needs to go to the "big city", Charlottesville is about ten miles one way. As long as he doesn't drive the thing bone dry of oil, and keeps gas in it, there's not much to go wrong. Couple that with Chris's autistic grandma driving, his shitbox could last quite a long time.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

True. My family has been Honda people since we had issues with Chrysler vehicles in the past. Great cars but man, even the Civics that are not trashed or have an insane amount of mileage are not that cheap when used compared to competitors aside from Toyotas.

>KIA
My old boss made a joke about Kia: Killed in Auto

Also I'm willing to bet the inside of the vehicle is littered with burger wrappers and smells terrible