3/28/2021 - Chris's latest fender bender -

Glowie

Terry Davis' inner voice
kiwifarms.net
IIRC Chris really doesn't go far on a normal, day to day basis. Sheetz, the Food Lion, Walmart, are all about a five or six mile round trip in Ruckersville. If he needs to go to the "big city", Charlottesville is about ten miles one way. As long as he doesn't drive the thing bone dry of oil, and keeps gas in it, there's not much to go wrong. Couple that with Chris's autistic grandma driving, his shitbox could last quite a long time.
Considering that he managed to hit a semi truck in bumfuck nowhere those chances are already astronomical, since Chris is a walking disaster and he has habit repeating his mistakes over and over again. He never learns from the experience. God forbid if some con open during this eternal coof cycle, one could bet that Chris might get into a scrap in a convention center parking lot.
 

Hogar Grupal

Chris Needs Me
kiwifarms.net
Well, we know the Car's still running. I don't know how Chris wrecked his car, either he didn't see the distance between the van and the truck, or he did some math in his head. He looks like he was going to cry in the first photo.
 

Cheerlead-in-Chief

kiwifarms.net
Rear-view mirror is obscured by Sailor Moon stickers to remind him to drive straight.
With LOTS of Sailor Chibi Moon. I'm sure she reminds him of Cryzel/Crystal

pedoforkstraight.png
 

normankrasner

kiwifarms.net
True, when presented with a cheaper less worth while option Chris will always chose that over the more economical longer term investment because that means more immediate money for legos. I mean besides the Ford Focus I don't believe Chris has ever owned a car that hasn't been a shitty beater.

There's a problem with the used Toyota market and that is everyone knows they're reliable and have the best resale value so they tend to overvalue them accordingly. It's difficult to find a nice Toyota priced in the range of what Chris is willing to pay for it, unless someone just gives him the car. If I had to take bets I would say the next car that bares the "son-chu" license plate is going to be of the KIA or Chrysler variety.
I found a used low(er) mileage Civic at a VW dealer, but I constantly looked for a few months when my nearly 20 year old Corolla had a turn signal assembly replacement and wasn't in a hurry, but Charb will just get the cheapest shittiest car with the most issues that we all know they will overpay for since they don't haggle, usually high mileage Domestic and European makes
 
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LoveYouLongTime

kiwifarms.net
If Chris lost his license or the van died they'd be pretty screwed since there is no public transport where he's at. The closest is the Jaunt bus but you have to make arrangements ahead of time for them to show up. He would be eligible because it's supposed to be used for the disabled and elderly.

A few years back he didn't have the van for whatever reason so he actually did walk to the post office, which is about a 4 mile walk one way. Which is also fairly dangerous because the infrastructure wasn't designed for pedestrians. The nearest grocery store would be about 2 miles one way.

So it would be a fairly expensive endeavor to not be able to drive himself because he didn't arrange for a Jaunt bus ahead of time he would have to resort to Uber and I honestly don't think Uber is common in Ruckersville.
 

Apteryx Owenii

formerly a jerkop, wants to avoid merge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I suspect that Chris not only drives slow like a grandma but also blindly like one- expecting everyone to make way around him, as if he's the only thing on the road. You could almost call it an autistic way of driving, as it means you don't have to consider what other people are thinking or doing. Turn signals become 'right of way' and you depend on your large, cheap vehicle to stop anyone with a nicer car from hitting you.

This works until you can't or don't check behind your ridiculous minivan and collide with a massive object that can't move out of your way.

But, much like when Spoony ran a red and hit someone, only the farms will care about it. This is a very normal occurrence other than being caused by hyper-dimensional meetwo sonichu or whatever the fuck else Chris is pretending to be right now.

You have to wonder what his premiums look like with his driving record, though.
 

Tikbalang

Wear your shirt inwards out
kiwifarms.net
I suspect that Chris not only drives slow like a grandma but also blindly like one- expecting everyone to make way around him, as if he's the only thing on the road. You could almost call it an autistic way of driving, as it means you don't have to consider what other people are thinking or doing. Turn signals become 'right of way' and you depend on your large, cheap vehicle to stop anyone with a nicer car from hitting you.

This works until you can't or don't check behind your ridiculous minivan and collide with a massive object that can't move out of your way.

But, much like when Spoony ran a red and hit someone, only the farms will care about it. This is a very normal occurrence other than being caused by hyper-dimensional meetwo sonichu or whatever the fuck else Chris is pretending to be right now.

You have to wonder what his premiums look like with his driving record, though.
When driving, the only thing he's focused on is check the required distance to hatch the pokeman egg.

If Chris lost his license or the van died they'd be pretty screwed since there is no public transport where he's at. The closest is the Jaunt bus but you have to make arrangements ahead of time for them to show up. He would be eligible because it's supposed to be used for the disabled and elderly.

A few years back he didn't have the van for whatever reason so he actually did walk to the post office, which is about a 4 mile walk one way. Which is also fairly dangerous because the infrastructure wasn't designed for pedestrians. The nearest grocery store would be about 2 miles one way.

So it would be a fairly expensive endeavor to not be able to drive himself because he didn't arrange for a Jaunt bus ahead of time he would have to resort to Uber and I honestly don't think Uber is common in Ruckersville.
Might be a good time for him to buy and ride a bicycle.
 
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