Good, bash out his van windows and attach balloons to it, so he can go away.
3/28/2021 - Chris's latest fender bender -
- Thread starter Dr. Silvestrechu
- Start date
Water In Cup
kiwifarms.net
Looks like he is about to cry XD
Considering that he managed to hit a semi truck in bumfuck nowhere those chances are already astronomical, since Chris is a walking disaster and he has habit repeating his mistakes over and over again. He never learns from the experience. God forbid if some con open during this eternal coof cycle, one could bet that Chris might get into a scrap in a convention center parking lot.
Well, we know the Car's still running. I don't know how Chris wrecked his car, either he didn't see the distance between the van and the truck, or he did some math in his head. He looks like he was going to cry in the first photo.
Tam Tam The Beluga 1986
kiwifarms.net
not just burger wrappers, probably full of roaches and hoarded with barbs shit
Cheerlead-in-Chief
kiwifarms.net
And of course toys as decorations uwu
- Highlight
- #127
Rear-view mirror is obscured by Sailor Moon stickers to remind him to drive straight.
Cheerlead-in-Chief
kiwifarms.net
normankrasner
kiwifarms.net
I found a used low(er) mileage Civic at a VW dealer, but I constantly looked for a few months when my nearly 20 year old Corolla had a turn signal assembly replacement and wasn't in a hurry, but Charb will just get the cheapest shittiest car with the most issues that we all know they will overpay for since they don't haggle, usually high mileage Domestic and European makes
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It probably smells like Death and serval other unidentifiable oders mixed with a gallon or two of axe.
Cheerlead-in-Chief
kiwifarms.net
That and for one day Papa John's Pizza, since that lasts after you drive it to your home.
I'm willing to bet it smells pretty fucking horrible considering his rear window is kept closed with just duct tape. Rain and other moisture probably built up in the uphosltery over time so there's probably mold and shit growing under the seats.
Lurch
kiwifarms.net
LoveYouLongTime
kiwifarms.net
- Highlight
- #134
If Chris lost his license or the van died they'd be pretty screwed since there is no public transport where he's at. The closest is the Jaunt bus but you have to make arrangements ahead of time for them to show up. He would be eligible because it's supposed to be used for the disabled and elderly.
A few years back he didn't have the van for whatever reason so he actually did walk to the post office, which is about a 4 mile walk one way. Which is also fairly dangerous because the infrastructure wasn't designed for pedestrians. The nearest grocery store would be about 2 miles one way.
So it would be a fairly expensive endeavor to not be able to drive himself because he didn't arrange for a Jaunt bus ahead of time he would have to resort to Uber and I honestly don't think Uber is common in Ruckersville.
A few years back he didn't have the van for whatever reason so he actually did walk to the post office, which is about a 4 mile walk one way. Which is also fairly dangerous because the infrastructure wasn't designed for pedestrians. The nearest grocery store would be about 2 miles one way.
So it would be a fairly expensive endeavor to not be able to drive himself because he didn't arrange for a Jaunt bus ahead of time he would have to resort to Uber and I honestly don't think Uber is common in Ruckersville.
I suspect that Chris not only drives slow like a grandma but also blindly like one- expecting everyone to make way around him, as if he's the only thing on the road. You could almost call it an autistic way of driving, as it means you don't have to consider what other people are thinking or doing. Turn signals become 'right of way' and you depend on your large, cheap vehicle to stop anyone with a nicer car from hitting you.
This works until you can't or don't check behind your ridiculous minivan and collide with a massive object that can't move out of your way.
But, much like when Spoony ran a red and hit someone, only the farms will care about it. This is a very normal occurrence other than being caused by hyper-dimensional meetwo sonichu or whatever the fuck else Chris is pretending to be right now.
You have to wonder what his premiums look like with his driving record, though.
This works until you can't or don't check behind your ridiculous minivan and collide with a massive object that can't move out of your way.
But, much like when Spoony ran a red and hit someone, only the farms will care about it. This is a very normal occurrence other than being caused by hyper-dimensional meetwo sonichu or whatever the fuck else Chris is pretending to be right now.
You have to wonder what his premiums look like with his driving record, though.
The use of "shall" reminds me of a stereotypical neckbeard.
It reminds me of when he was trying to do a ”British accent” (read: shitty impression of Jacob Rees-Mogg)
When driving, the only thing he's focused on is check the required distance to hatch the pokeman egg.
Might be a good time for him to buy and ride a bicycle.
Chris Is gonna need training wheels
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Chris is the only person I know of who needs a spatula with training wheels.
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