3/28/2021 - Chris's latest fender bender -

Male Idiot

Das rite!

He propably was thinking about this:



If I had to take bets I would say the next car that bares the "son-chu" license plate is going to be of the KIA or Chrysler variety.
made me take a look at the license plate and holy shit lmao, this freakshow actually spent money to have that as his plate

I just had a thought. Imagine being the poor SOB that had to give Chris His driver's license test.
are we even sure it actually has a license? I'm sure somebody has access to drivers license records to see if it actually does. and if it does, I wouldn't be surprised if it's been suspended a couple of times.


Don’t push me cuz I’m on the edge!
Depends on how long ago Chris got his DL. I know people that had to make 3 right turns and got their DL. Then others that it took 30 minutes and they had to drive all over the place.
he got his license in the early 2000’s so he probably had to make 3 turns and parallel park and possibly show the tester that he can reverse.

Flavius Anthemius

Praetorian prefect of the East
Depends lots of rural DMVs dont bother making ya parallel park.
Something that they did in my country is that when you would get assessed for a probationary license, the assessor can either choose to grade you on either a 3 point turn or a parallel park. A 3 point turn is piss easy as long as you know how to reverse out properly, something like that wouldn't have been too difficult for him at least, he seems to have passable motor skills, just makes dumb mistakes more than your average joe.


Wearing the same shirt of failure.

Barb got upset that Chris wanted to sleep in his own bed, so she threw a brick through the back window and called him a faggot nigger.

It's probably accumulated the same butt smell as the Chandlers.

Anyway, It's going to be hillarious seeing Chris on foot in a few years walking through the McDonald's drive thru making car noises and ordering a big mac.
Nigga, he's gonna be pulling q-sands out the fucking dumpster, what you talking about. This is the backstory to a mumbling homeless person.


Mess with pupper, you become supper.
I really haven't been keeping up with Chris, which is why I'm posting on page 8, I guess.

I'm instantly reminded of this, though.

Car spergery below, which might be informative to some of you, but don't say I didn't warn you about the spergery.

I sometimes larp a mechanic and have done all of my own servicing, and almost all of my repairs, unless it's something like tyres and whatnot which require specialist tools I don't have. So this thread is right up my street.

Looking at it, windows themselves aren't difficult to break if you back into something unyielding even at a low speed. But considering how the rest of the tailgate is caved in, Chris wasn't going all that slow to have an impact like that. To do that sort of damage, you'd have to be doing a speed I wouldn't consider safe, especially for someone like Chris. If you are lucky, you'll get away with just slapping a new tailgate on, which isn't difficult to do. However I'd be worried about damaging the rear structure of the van, but it does take a bit of a hit, and for Chris, chance is maybe 50/50 for structural damage. Unfortunately, like a lot of things, you're really not going to know the extent of the damage until you take it all apart and get a good look at what's going on back there.

Side note: if you've ever gone to a mechanic after being given a quote, and the actual price is more, this is why. If you bring your car to me with a complaint, I am going to verify the complaint, and if I can't, I'm going to ask you if you can. If I can verify the complaint, then I know what to start looking for. Lots of things on cars are hidden away under other things, and what can often happen is that I can find something else as I'm taking stuff apart. There may also be cases where I will proactively replace parts, because they're a real bitch to get to, and you don't want to come back in 3 months and have to do all that work again any more than I do, so while it's apart, I'll throw new stuff at it if I feel it's warranted. So if you're questioning a higher than expected bill, a; that's good. I want you to know what's going on. But b; it's often better in the long run to do everything while it's apart. But ultimately, not everyone is... so focused on the long run, as we can see. This is another case where the customer is always right, even when they aren't, and that you can only do what you are paid to do, even if you disagree with the situation. In that case, I'll flat out say "if this shits itself in 3 months, don't come back and say I didn't tell you. I did what you told and paid me to do."

As far as the mechanical bits go, lots of short drives is actually really hard on cars, to the point where owners manuals recommend a tighter servicing interval. Making a long story as short as possible, cars really don't like lots of short trips (say, you driving to and from the train station every day, which only takes a few minutes) because the oil is contaminated faster. When you get the engine properly hot on a long drive, it gives the engine the chance to burn off all that shit in the oil. If your car spends all of its time on the highway (like mine do), your oil etc will last way, way longer, as will the engine, because it's got cleaner oil.

In general, I have no fucking idea how that Dodge could have stood up to the abuse that it appears to have had. Some cars thrive on abuse and neglect. This ain't one of them.
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Pappy Striderite

if the Chandlers lost their vehicles completely they would probably be eligible for one of those charity services

"dial-a-ride" doesn't have any requirements involving ownership of a car already. it's really easy to qualify for most all elderly/disabled people. chris could be ridding in lunchbox luxury right now just by showing his SSI/D card.

when i was a kid, 50¢ would take me from the far end of 1 county deep into the next. it probably costs $1 now.
pretty sure the price was always a set amount just so tards didn't need to get a math lesson from those poor drivers at every fuckin stop.

anyway, as you pointed out, they are almost all tallboy mini-van conversions for anyone with any disability cuz they're insured differently from the cars.
[the cars were priced just like a taxi cab call anyway]
chris would go into his hedgehog defense mode before he'd ever get in the fuckin shortbus.

real shame in it all is that it would be good for his social skills n shit to just get out more, get to observe more normal spergs -NOT- introducing themselves as pokemon/commadore-kin, etc etc...

the sooner he gets into a community rec center the faster he adapts to halfway house living with schedules n structure n shit. like, i wanna sneak up on chris with a shortbus, n when he rolls into hedgehog defense mode i'll shove some nomal-Tism up his ass.

The Dude

Make a difference in life. Gas a furry.
True & Honest Fan
he got his license in the early 2000’s so he probably had to make 3 turns and parallel park and possibly show the tester that he can reverse.

Most people get their license in High School when they turn 16, so that would have been 1998 for Chris.

I believe the BMW was a 5 speed. I’m impressed he could drive a stick. I wonder if it’s still rotting away behind their house. Perhaps we’ll see someone restore it on YouTube.

Chris can't drive stick. The BMW was Barb's car and the reason they tried to get rid of it after Bob died was because Chris couldn't figure out a manual transmission.