[30-Jan-20] Acks The King -

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tzgnilki

kiwifarms.net
36 posts, least interesting Ask the King yet.
it was just him trying to lecture his audience about taking the moral high ground and being a responsible adult, which is is clearly an expert at

I love the slight jab at the education system for not teaching him real world skills like finances, the guy has a business degree and wasn't paying bills/is going bankrupt at 40, this has nothing to do with the education system
 

MoonRocker

kiwifarms.net
Ridiculous amount of retconning this week, to the point that all chat regulars (besides Sidella, of course, a literal autistic cunt) were making fun of him.

Apparently, chat helps him “once in a while” during playthroughs and he completes all games with minimal handholding.

We’re all idiots because we confuse criticism with slander.

He can never do anything right according to his critics and we’re not fair so it’s not worth it to listen to us.

A bunch of other bullshit not worth mentioning as I tuned out while I was playing WC3: Reforged.

A terrible Acks the Pig this week.
 

Muppetmode

kiwifarms.net
Ridiculous amount of retconning this week, to the point that all chat regulars (besides Sidella, of course, a literal autistic cunt) were making fun of him.

Apparently, chat helps him “once in a while” during playthroughs and he completes all games with minimal handholding.

We’re all idiots because we confuse criticism with slander.

He can never do anything right according to his critics and we’re not fair so it’s not worth it to listen to us.

A bunch of other bullshit not worth mentioning as I tuned out while I was playing WC3: Reforged.

A terrible Acks the Pig this week.
He also said he used to Go into his old play through blind even though he mysteriously knows where to go half the time
 

actually

Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He also said he used to Go into his old play through blind even though he mysteriously knows where to go half the time
It's true that he used to. Back when he was playing games day 1 and there were no guides out already. Nowadays, though, he spreads games out so much that if he's having trouble with them, all he has to do is wait a week or so, and there will be, at the very least, tips and tricks put out, if not relatively complete guides.
 

Genie The Hedgehog

Gotta Wish Fast
kiwifarms.net
It's true that he used to. Back when he was playing games day 1 and there were no guides out already.
Tevin did a khando tour back in time stream a couple weeks ago and in each one you could see piles of strategy guides on the table next to his foul loveseat and lining his bookshelves. So I don't believe he went in blind even then.
 

actually

Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I asked previously about the tips total and how long the stream was. Looks like he got $72 in tips, with $37 coming from ol' SilentBob. And the uploaded videos, not including whatever "prestream" he managed to, total LESS THAN 2.5 HOURS. Hoooooly cow.

@Comma, if you happen to have names along with the tips you tallied earlier, could you send them my way? Phil doesn't appear to have uploaded any prestream.
 
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Schmeckel

Praise 'til you're hollow
kiwifarms.net
Yeah his go-to now to to debunk almost everything is the escort saga. Everything said from now on after that is all just bullshit apparently. Though he still was flying his cheating now wife over so not too ludicrous in hindsight.
Well, yeah. He's got his one shining moment of "Phil wasn't completely lying through his disgusting piglike mouth!" and that is the escort saga. It's his triumph-du-jour since nobody gives a fuck about competing at Evo once. Once the shine of the escort saga fades, he'll probably latch onto how he totally duped everyone by saying he had Ja$per for MONTHS and nobody knew because they're stupid nudniks and Phil is playing 8th dimension connect four. It's just one more piece of evidence that shows just how much of a sad, mundane, shut-in life he ultimately leads.
 

strandedcastaway

kiwifarms.net
Shit like this from Phil where he ignores all of the actual interesting failures in his life will be tough to care about. When he starts talking about the bankruptcy and foreclosure details, then we have some meat on the bone.
 
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Gotta Groom Em All

That Pancham was 18 I swear
kiwifarms.net
I about busted a gut when within the first 10 minutes he was trying to lecture to everyone about how freedom of speech is like really, really important, you guys. Meanwhile, he runs the most heavily moderated chatroom to ever exist. I knew this was gonna be good after that.

Other cheap laughs were had when he:
  • Implied SSF2T is the greatest game ever made
  • Described how useless a college education is
  • Explained how hard editing videos for YouTube is
  • Asserted that racism is the worst thing ever to happen
  • Gave his wheelchairs advice on how to be successful once they move out of their parent's houses
  • Gave us advice on to manage our finances
  • Complained that nobody ever told him how to pay his bills
  • Gave his wheelchairs advice on how to be physically healthy
  • Deflected all blame onto those "tahksick shitheads" for why his life is terrible
  • Said he's not leaving Twitch because their chat moderation tools are the strongest
  • Asserted that he's been doing hard work for the last 12 years
  • Told us he'd still continue to stream if he couldn't monetize it
  • Told us chat never holds his hand
  • Tried to entice whales to give him $1,000 in bits by rewarding them with custom emotes
  • Lectured for ten minutes straight explaining to us "what makes an intelligent person"
  • Asserted that none of the criticism he receives is legitimate
  • Told us that he never brings up detractors after a salty 10 minute rant about detractors
  • Told us he "doesn't even care any more" about the tahksick shitheads
  • Repeatedly leaned in and wet-snorted into the microphone
  • Asserted he has grown up a lot and is no longer toxic
  • Implied that at age 27 he was still a child and therefore his behavior should be excused
... among many other, very predictable, things. Rapid fire, like a pig-flavored machine gun.

DSP might be the single most un-self-aware person to ever exist.
 

Wurstbrot

This was my depression
kiwifarms.net
Sooo, from reading here I assume this is nothing else than a long winded prestream or a long winded random rant filled with lies, manipulative tactics, toxicity and lots of hypocrisy. In other words, a normal day for DSP; worded as question, why should anyone care what he says when his words have no value? If his words were hot air he couldn't even inflate a party balloon.

This sounds boring and predictable.
 

Genie The Hedgehog

Gotta Wish Fast
kiwifarms.net
It's true that he used to. Back when he was playing games day 1 and there were no guides out already. Nowadays, though, he spreads games out so much that if he's having trouble with them, all he has to do is wait a week or so, and there will be, at the very least, tips and tricks put out, if not relatively complete guides.
For the hell of it, I ran it through PigPigGo. This motherfucker had strategy guides for FIGHTING GAMES for fuck's sake. There might be some I'm missing but if PigPig doesn't spit it out I ain't hunting for it.

For shits and giggles, I decided to look through videos beyond the scope of khando tours and a lot of his early playthroughs mention his need of a guide. So if this fuckwit could get one, he used it for every game possible.
The guide was shown in one of the khando tours but here he is saying he needs one. He also has the Fallout 3 guide, as seen previously.

He of course bought the special Fable 3 guide both because he needs it and to get the autistic DLC shit.

His copy of The Witcher 2 came with a little strategy guide for free, so naturally he not only uses it but bitched about it not telling him things.

Fucker bought the guide for Dead Island to do Co-op or some shit.

"I actually bought the strategy guide, which I almost never do.":stress:

Here we have Pig and his soulmate Rambo consulting the guide for Dead Rising 2.

This sort of morphed into it's own autistic post and I hit the media limit but the point being, he has never gone in blind if he could help it since the beginning.

There were 7 pages of this shit to go through and I apologize for this long ass reply.
 

Martys_not_smarty

You don't know what hard times are daddy.
kiwifarms.net
#1 ranked US SUPERTURBO player, dood. Get it right. He only lost to those damn japs cause they had it in for him and beat him at his own buggy mess.
That's right dood, he earned that title in a super secret tournament in Rio ala Pat Patersons Intercontinental Title, no reporters, no cameras and no mention in a forum. Every ranked recognized pro US player was there and he went toe to toe in a round robin and licked them all 2-0.
 
That's right dood, he earned that title in a super secret tournament in Rio ala Pat Patersons Intercontinental Title, no reporters, no cameras and no mention in a forum. Every ranked recognized pro US player was there and he went toe to toe in a round robin and licked them all 2-0.

Uh aktually Phil was so popular within the FGC that Capcom asked him to write those guides. But that motherfucker Tevin illegally re-released them and added a chapter about how to use lag to gain frame advantage over your opponent and ensure their controller doesn't work and none of their moves come out. To this day, asshole Street Fighter players are using it again him, and stealing money that is owed to him in tournaments he cannot enter because of detractors ruining his life. Fuck you, you worthless pieces of shit, fuck you.
 

kcbbq

Look at that fern! It's big and it's green!
kiwifarms.net
it was just him trying to lecture his audience about taking the moral high ground and being a responsible adult, which is is clearly an expert at

I love the slight jab at the education system for not teaching him real world skills like finances, the guy has a business degree and wasn't paying bills/is going bankrupt at 40, this has nothing to do with the education system
If you need to be taught to do basic cooking and laundry and how to balance your checkbook you probably belong in a group home. It's not exactly difficult.

If you go bankrupt while having a good, steady income and no major financial emergencies you shouldn't be giving advice to anyone, let alone making them pay for it.
 
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