[30 November 2016] Phil e-begs for bicycle - And if you don't give to him you're not being a good ally.

[Ginger Piglet]

So... yeah. Cis middle class people are only allowable so long as they give him money.

 

[BILLY MAYS]

If only he didn't buy his "weapons"

 

[Positron]

No one wants to see him happy; it's more fun to see him bouncing and squeaking.

 

[Hyperion]

I'm not certain what the local regulations are regarding bicycle use by mutant naked mole rats.

 

[Postal Dude]

I will commit to relearn how to ride

I'm not sure he ever learned to ride in the first place.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Actually, yes. Here's how he spent his e-begging:

I'm pretty sure you can get a serviceable bicycle for under $250.00. It doesn't need to be a super lightweight carbon fibre road racing model or anything. Also why can't he just pay someone to load his shite into a van and drive it north?

Also, why does he need two trannybats? He gonna attempt dual-wielding?

 

[Hyperion]

Also, why does he need two trannybats? He gonna attempt dual-wielding?

Why does he need any tranny bats? Portland isn't exactly a hotbed of trans violence.

Oh right it's because he's an aggressive MALE who is aroused by violence and control just like every other rapist on the planet

 

[Michel]

Guys let's troll Phil by buying him a bike.

 

[Ruin]

Actually, yes. Here's how he spent his e-begging:

View attachment 158058

I'm pretty sure you can get a serviceable bicycle for under $250.00. It doesn't need to be a super lightweight carbon fibre road racing model or anything. Also why can't he just pay someone to load his shite into a van and drive it north?

Also, why does he need two trannybats? He gonna attempt dual-wielding?

Pictured. Phil's next battle against the alt right gamergoobers.

 

[JU 199]

Man he's so fucking selfish.

 

[Ninja_Warrior]

What the hell reason can he possibly give for not being willing to ride the bus like literally everyone else?

 

[Smutley]

What the hell reason can he possibly give for not being willing to ride the bus like literally everyone else?

He has a bike fetish.

That's not a joke, he's been sperging about bikes and molesting peoples bikes he finds on the streets for years after he discovered a group of militant bikedykes called Clitoral Mass. He's convinced that as a pretty latina they'll accept him with open arms and have sex with him.

edit: I think he's already bought the bike, he's just begging people to pay him back for it he has to do everything that Chris does, only late.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Pictured. Phil's next battle against the alt right gamergoobers.

Hey, Mumen Rider is awesome! Don't sully his name like that!

 

[Ruin]

Hey, Mumen Rider is awesome! Don't sully his name like that!

Couldn't find another example of someone attacking someone else with a bike.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

What the hell reason can he possibly give for not being willing to ride the bus like literally everyone else?

For some reason, Phil believes he part of some elite group that does not have to lower their standards by using their feet or public transport to get places. What places does Phil have to be anyway?! Are there hobo bathhouses where Phil can get a good figging on a regular basis without scaring anything that remotely resembles a human?
If Phil has to relearn to ride a bike, he does not deserve one.

 

[Ruin]

molesting peoples bikes he finds on the streets

I can't even imagine the horror of walking out of a Starbucks and finding a random greasy wet patch on your bicycle seat that wasn't there before.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Cis middle class people are only allowable so long as they give him money.

Don't we, the American tax payer already do this?

 

[VortekPMD]

Oh Phil. You will not escape the Ninja Mormons you wannabe bikedyke. Assume your fate of being served with Burgers and a shake to Chris-chan.

 

[SpessCaptain]

But he can't ride the bike, he says it hurts his balls, so wtf.

 

[CatParty]

lets buy it before him and trash it