[31-Dec-2018] New Year's Eve "Podcast" - Third time's the charm

  • Registration closed, comedy forum, Internet drama, Sneed, etc.

Will Kat...

  • be a total no-show?

    Votes: 32 64.0%
  • make a 5 second appearance before heading off to a New Year's party?

    Votes: 13 26.0%
  • be coerced into a creepy New Year's kiss?

    Votes: 5 10.0%

  • Total voters
    50
  • Poll closed .
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Pargon

Lost muh ‘nads in th’ Culture War
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For perspective, this month he has currently received a little over $18,000. So all you paypigs need to do is just give Phil a paltry $216k+ a year! Come on, dig deep! Get some cash advances on 0% introductory rate credit cards!

He'd need more than that, because fuck if he's gonna pay taxes on an income that high. That's Paypig Duty right there.
 

neger psykolog

moon goons for communism detection
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I made a very long post in the DSP finances thread about his financial autism and my opinion is that the bank's internal autists who look at the risk profiles of thousands of customers hold more of a say in his destiny than any miraculous paypig:
Even if you cut out all the technical bullshit about finances you can probably agree one thing is true: DSP is the banks favorite kind of customer.
I'd be repeating myself if I said all the tips, subs and bitch ears never really benefit DSP directly, but instead make the bank and its excel spreadsheet autists happy that they have yet another paypig who was optimistic enough about their business/life to sign up for tons of debt. If you look beyond the banks who've loaned money to DSP you will see super mega turbo autists, just like those on KF, who put DSPs numbers into an excel sheet and decide what his future holds.

I said this shit several months ago:
The point of banks isn't to put someone in a level of debt which can't be serviced, its ideal to lend as much as you can but still guarantee almost every single penny they get as income for eternity. Not so you can ensure they pay as soon as possible, but so that you can have long term profit by that person's inability to pay any more.

There is no doubt for me that DSP is just about at his choking point/bankruptcy and the past few months and years have more been him paying the minimum instead of using his debt as an actual tool to further his situation.

If DSP does end up declaring bankruptcy or gets his house/assets repossessed (or whatever would happen in that event) the bank will still likely cover its bases but would lose out on profit on account of having to risk auctions and selling off assets (I believe a third party company deals with asset sales and makes a nice slice of money on the fire sale).

DSP is certainly not the person you see on a documentary about foreclosures who has been mislead or taken advantage of, he's just the person who has pushed the "tools" are available and which can actually be used positively to further a person or companies position to the absolute limit.

So even if his paypigs do turn out and drop mad money towards his current crisis, we all know the truth, all they're doing is lining the pockets of the bank. This is the only reason I take issue with people thinking DSP is a grand planning scammer, he simply doesn't have enough forethought, DSP is just the guy repeating what the bank is telling him. All he's doing is trying to extend deadlines and if you ignore lucky paypigs appearing we all know he actively doesn't do anything to help expand his audience/appeal.

The saying goes, that there are only two sure things in life, death and taxes. But the third thing you can be sure of is that DSP will eventually be unable to service the minimum payments on his "financial tools" and will lose his house/everything (which what I think is the "good ending" in all of this because banks are gay).

So while it might be detestable for a grown and gouty able-bodied man to resort to ebegging for his income while ignoring a real job, its actually far more detestable if you look at the root of this situation: a guy who uses "financial tools" for reasons they aren't designed for so that he can try and beg/mislead his viewing audience into forking over increasing amounts of money, not so they can help with hospital bills or a surprise eviction notice, but so they can ensure that he is able to make the bare minimum payments for another few months until the exact same shit happens.

The bank isn't stupid enough to see "minimum payments" for so long and not use their expertise (autists in the Microsoft Excel department who calculate the risk profile of every kind of debtor, in every state/city/county/town from every single source of income CEO/manager/barmaid/farmer/YouTuber) to realize someone like DSP is never going to be able to meaningfully strike away at his debt.

Even if its not this or the next year, eventually the clouds will part and Zeus, the super mega autist bank employee will have DSP under his view and throw a lightning bolt in the form of the bank recalling debt/changing payment structures. Even if it isn't the excel autist at the bank, surprise medical bills or paypigs losing interest and DSPs entire show will inevitably fail spectacularly.

So if you're not well versed in the world (which isn't a bad thing) you should take time to learn that DSP is not at all unique. Everyone knows that one guy who took out 20 loans and credit cards to service his first 16 loans and for a time everything is great.

Then one day the bank calls up on their debt because a payment was missed or because a risk profile got updated and they fell short by 0.00001% or because the bank's autist refreshed his Excel spreadsheet and your debt was autoflagged. You'll hopefully realize there are plenty of people who don't even do begging and run businesses that appear to be successful to people and who end up coming short or even manage to fulfill whatever the bank's autists feel is the minimum payment.

Any smart business person usually hides themselves behind various company structures that make the effect of debt less substantial, but DSP is not that person, he took the riskiest of "business" ideas and decided to place all of his bets behind it.
 

James Smith

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Jan 17, 2017
Phil just said something about renting out his condo in CT? Did he finally get it through his thick skull that he needs to do that?
He said the same thing he said last time. He doesn't have time to find and screen tenants, etc. He's been told companies do that for a portion of rent (you don't pay if there isn't a tenant) but last time he said he didn't like the specific company that would do it for him.
 

big ups liquid richard

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He also claims its in the roughest part of Connecticut and its almost impossible to find people who are willing to live there. People get shot just walking home as part of a gang initiation. His father was shot at just trying to go to the grocery store. :c
 

Wood Glue

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At this point the college he attended should just send someone to take back his business degree. Or better yet, wrap it to a shape of a dunce cap and superglue it on his head. His ability to stumble in to just about every financial pitfall imaginable is some scary shit.
 

Haunter

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I do enjoy how DSP's twitch stream has 415 viewers and Tevin's stream has nearly 1,700 viewers.

Apparently Kat got DSP a Peanuts Desk Calendar and a Razor for Christmas.

Soulmates everyone.

I don't know where to find the video, but I know for a fact that Leanna also gave Phil a calendar for Christmas...

Some odds and ends

Something was apparently wrong with the ban function:

[2018-12-31 21:24:47 UTC] sirmoansalot_: Again it isn’t letting me ban

Phil had to frequently resort to manual "lean-over bans", including wiping out a message from regular "bernielomax517".

Phil explains that he now keeps his and Kat's personal information private because the "negative element" will "dig up stuff from the past" to "falsify" it. Why bother digging up stuff from the past when it's just gonna be falsified anyway?

Thoughtlessly picked his ear while jabbering.

Brought up his March 28 Twitch suspension as he reviewed every negative event from the past year. According to Phil, that person he berated "basically said I was a lair, or a prick". This was the single message "galahadofgondor" posted in Phil's chat:

[2018-03-27 21:42:32 UTC] galahadofgondor: I’d put money on him not finishing this like 90% of the shit he plays

During the expected Tutankhmaunn Rant, brought up two previously unheard credit card theft stories that had happened to him years ago.

Phil again blamed him "listening to your feedback" for his Patreon losses.
 

Wurstbrot

Yikes, amateur night
kiwifarms.net
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So Dave found a list of games with release dates, pressed "Print" and now his chat has to decide which games they want to see. Because he's a manbaby who can't decide for himself in which games HE is interested in. He hasn't even made any research of what most of these games are.

Boring. Sounds like doing taxes.
 

PieceofShet

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Jun 18, 2017
Why is he talking about his parents IN THE GAMING SECTION OF THE STREAM?

Disgusting what he is saying about his parents.
 

neger psykolog

moon goons for communism detection
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He said the same thing he said last time. He doesn't have time to find and screen tenants, etc. He's been told companies do that for a portion of rent (you don't pay if there isn't a tenant) but last time he said he didn't like the specific company that would do it for him.

Sadly its very easy for a property owner/investor to get caught up in a situation where their investment becomes an "untenable property":
upload_2019-1-1_2-23-34.png


Its impossible to judge his claim of what sounds like an "untenable property" without being a banking/real estate true blue autistic who not only knows his finances on an intimate level but also has access to data pertaining to where the property is located (combined with whatever his bank payments/debt actually is).

So I'm not giving him a free pass on his CT kahndo but there can actually, very really be certain situations where an investment or property isn't worth leasing/renting because of the risk it would encompass or because an area has changed since the property was purchased.

To give a very broad example:
  • You see a town where the economy is booming on account of a new construction/infrastructure project
  • You buy a property for $100k/10 years taking a loan to finance the amount
  • For the first 12 months you're earning a massive amount of rent, because employees in the area are "given" mandatory housing by their employer
  • All of a sudden the massive infrastructure project falls through and you lose your tenant
  • After a few months the weekly rental rates in the town fall significantly, and your property which was commanding $100 per week is suddenly only worth $30 per week.
  • You use your autism and punch the numbers into a spreadsheet:
    • $30 per week rental income
    • $10 per week mandatory home insurance with coverage for renting your property
    • $4 per week to pay the real estate agency to vet people interested in renting your property
      • this weekly fee is usually sustained, so even if they find someone to rent, unless you live locally you'll have to pay this real estate company to "manage" your property and periodically do housing inspections as well as collect rent and deal with tenant issues ("part of the included furnishing, a bed, has broken, I want a replacement")
    • $6 per week as tax because you don't live in the property and your government says this is "income" because you're not using it as a residence
    • $2 per week as federal income because you're renting out a property in a state you do not reside in
    • $6 per week as bank payments
      • This, and all payments can possibly change, but the bank can often be expected to ensure you hold valid insurance, keep up on your corporation/kahndo payments and that you pay for "upkeep" (such as annual house painting, repaving the driveway) which might be determined/enforced by your county/city rules and you may probably have no say in it.
    • $3 per week towards your housing association/STRATA
      • Subject to significant change and surprise payments because they want to do upkeep on communal areas
    • $1 per week for monthly landscaping
      • Mandatory because you risk city/state fines or losing your finance if you don't maintain the property
    • Surprise $1000 payment because the carpet/flooring/tiles have deteriorated and your property management company says they have to be replaced
    • Surprise $200 payment because your tenant stopped paying and disappeared and you had to hire a locksmith
    • Surprise $150 payment because the HVAC/heating stopped working on Christmas Eve due to mechanical failure and you had to pay a specialist call out fee
    • Surprise $2500 payment because the only person your property management company could find to hire ended up being an aged crazy cat lady (CWC of course) who despite meeting all of their requirements never paid the first rent amount and after an extended series of court dates and legal fees was evicted leaving the property covered in cat shit requiring a deep cleaning and replacement of flooring and some repainting
      • Don't forget you have to pay legal fees to evict the tenant, so you also have to pay $600
The same goes for people that own commercial property (offices/workshops for commercial or industrial use), sure the economy is doing great and everything sounds fine but all of a sudden 10% of companies in the area close down/leave and suddenly you're stuck with loan/mortgage/management/insurance/tax payments for a property that you advertise for rent persistently and no one shows interest in despite the reduced rate.

So yeah, hindsight is 20/20 and DSP should've never bought that property and he certainly should've sold it when moving, but people get stuck with money holes all the time. Its part of the reason I enjoy observing DSP, many of his mistakes are very human and not even unique, but he has a habit of making every mistake possible in every situation possible in life (so I'm not "forgiving" him or blind to the causes or consequences of his CT kahndo and why its untenable in the first place, I think its a very understandable and forgivable issue to have, but he has credit card and loan payments up the ass, so if his CT kahndo didn't cause his finances to topple then it'd be one of his many credit cards/loans).

I know all of this not because I invest in real estate but because I often ask older people I know about their properties and try to make myself familiar with the benefits/struggles that one might face when buying a property. That is the only reason I'm understanding towards his CT kahndo being untenable.

TLDR: If you own a property and you can rent it for $1000 a night during peak season Air BnB you will not be able to pay your loan off in 100 days because owning a property is like playing Oregon Trail:

  • Your property will not be rented on every day during peak season for the highest amount possible
  • If you're renting your property on Air BnB you have to compete with people who are local and can self clean their property and personally meet tenants
    • If you're renting short term (Air Bnb) you will probably be paying monthly fees for electrical/gas/water. Additionally, you'll probably also be paying for an internet connection if you own a property in any major city.
      • Surprise: You have to pay $200 extra for the month of December because you had a few foreign tenants who set the HVAC/heat to the highest possible setting and left it on even when they were out of the house which made the electrical/gas bill skyrocket.
  • You have to pay clean up fees after every tenant leaves
    • You also have to periodically pay (depending on agreements/requirements) for upkeep and improvements
      • "This property was last repainted 12 years ago, it needs a repaint and you need to pay not only the contractor but us (property management) extra to oversee the process"
      • "The oven is 15 years old and has broken, it has to be replaced, because you're not locally based you have to pay us (property management) extra to oversee the idiots who do work at your property"
  • You have to pay management fees
    • Insurance company advertises your property every week and still can't find a tenant? You still have to pay them.
  • You have to pay insurance fees (which are generally much greater than those applied to properties you yourself live in)
    • The insurance companies Excel autist looks at the historical rate of floods/hurricanes/tornadoes/earthquakes in your area and decides that because you're fat everyone on your street and the streets next to you should have a 35% rate increase overnight! (mostly because you're fat though, "acts of god" only have so much influence when it comes to autism and spreadsheets)
  • You have to pay federal, state or county taxes
    • We changed the definition of an "investment property" and now you have to pay 12% tax on all your rental income!
    • Our great state/county/city/town passed a law/motion which means every property owner within the "gayest of the gay district" should pay $1 per month to help orphans and install fire extinguishers on all dog kennels!
    • We've changed the legal structure of our county and now the Gay mayor who has never visited here once has decided as a property owner that you must pay $1 per month to the fire department/police force!
      • SURPRISE: additional rate/tax adjustment, now you have to pay $1 per month extra! tough shit pleb!
  • You have to pay kahndo/STRATA/corporation fees
    • You also have to pay any surprise improvement or maintenance fees placed upon you
    • The board has restructured, pay more money
    • 3 property owners have sold their land and have filed some form of autistic legal separation from our corporation! Your rates now go up $1 per month!
  • You have to pay upkeep fees
    • SURPRISE: Its a drought caused by gout! Your lawn looks like shit because of the weather and you have 12 days to either do your lawn again or we're gonna fine/evict you!
    • SURPRISE: The pleb in property 1C within our corporation's purview has sever sinus issues and snorts mucus into the drainage system every day! The drainage system is now blocked and you have to pay $2000 right now or you'll get afflicted with gout.
  • SURPRISE: one of your tenants walked outside during a tornado/blizzard/autism storm and slipped on the front step breaking their hip!
    • Choice 1: put it to the insurance company, they'll pay!
      • Then they'll jack up the fees next quarter because you're risky
    • Choice 2: try and reason with the tenant and get thrown a stalking lawsuit
      • Your insurance rate went up because you're risky!
    • Choice 3: pay the tenant out of pocket for their medical bills, ensuring to throw in a free weeks rent and a bouquet of flowers
      • SURPRISE: tenant is a faggot and takes you to court anyway
        • Now you have to pay legal fees and extra money to your property management company. Your gout infection worsens and you experience a sever cardiact autism arrest during your sleep.
          • All of your debt is now forwarded to that one greedy nephew who "plays video games for a living" and never called you except to ask for a quick loan last year and never paid a cent towards it.
So you really have to consider the broad picture and consider cost/profit/risk/benefit and if things are riding very close when it comes to profit, even if you find someone who can rent your dump and checks out as being reliably, you can still get a "surprise bill" you're going to end up footing a bill far greater than what you would've made renting out your property (yes, even at a discount).

The TLDR of TLDRs if someone owns a property:
upload_2019-1-1_3-12-14.png
 

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actually

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All of that is why you get a management company to do it. They handle the vast majority of that shit for a cut of the rent. Even getting "only" $500 a month in rent (after fees) would be $500 less that Phil would have to come up with each month.
 

neger psykolog

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All of that is why you get a management company to do it. They handle the vast majority of that shit for a cut of the rent. Even getting "only" $500 a month in rent (after fees) would be $500 less that Phil would have to come up with each month.

But all they do is "manage" it, they don't pay any of those fees for you.
 
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